I fight every day. I feel like I'm in a constant battle right now which has me hoping I'm doing something right, and that's why the Enemy is attacking me. I think it revolves around Ethiopia. The biggest question I get is why are you going?? In my previous post I said I didn't know why and that I thought it was so I could be broken. Then God came in the form of conversations, the form of late nights and in the form of dreams. The conversation started it all. I have two friends in Nashville that are dear to my heart. They are in fact, two of the biggest reasons why after I return from Ethiopia I'm moving to Nashville (that's my plan at least, but always remember Proverbs 19:21). I remember a conversation we had back in August, about their adoption. Here's a pop quiz readers... Where are my friends Amy and Mike adopting from???.......... If you guessed Ethiopia you win a... well... you get the joy of knowing that you were right, and if you weren't God knows you are lying (JESUS JUKE!) Over the weekend I spoke extensively with Amy about this trip... my thoughts about the fact that they were adopting from Ethiopia were what if I met someone that would know Eli's family in Ethiopia. She presented a whole new idea. The orphanage they are adopting through is in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia which is where I am going. What if I can find the exact orphanage? Eli will be anywhere from Newborn to 2 years old when he is brought home to the States... what if he is already born, what if I can hold him? What if I have a picture of him as a baby? I began to weep after hanging up the phone. I cried out to God and thanked Him for this opportunity, I thanked Him for even presenting the idea because it hit me. It's not just about me, it's about my friends and family here that are praying and will be anxiously awaiting the stories that I will undoubtedly bring home. This led to a dream...
I am already passionate about Eli and his future. And I know that if I love Eli this much, his future parents have to be just pouring with love for him. I had a dream that Eli was born this week, and I met him in Ethiopia, I held him, hushed his crying, and prayed over him while he rocked in my arms. I came home with thousands of pictures of our work there, including a picture of Eli and I... little did I know he was soon to be my "nephew", because I already call myself Uncle Brad. What did this dream mean to me?? It meant that this trip is bigger than anything I could ever have dreamed it would be, and that it's even bigger than it is now. As I thought about Eli, I thought about the other kids in those orphanages. I began to understand the purpose of our group going. I previously told you I would be helping build staff housing for CMF. CMF brings all kinds of missionaries into Ethiopia, and those missionaries will be staying in this housing that I am being given an opportunity to build, those missionaries are people that may touch the lives of Eli and many other children, and adults. Again God showed me that this trip is bigger than me. Again I weep. I am overcome with joy... joy in the fact that God is granting me the privilege of taking this trip. It's not my right to go, it's a gift from Him and it's one that will keep giving every day leading up to it and every day following it. I realized one other thing, I have to be prepared for anything, and I already am because I am trusting in God to prepare me.
Grace and Peace
2.21.2011
2.18.2011
The President may want Secret Service, but God wants it to be loud and obvious.
Galatians 5:13 -->> "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."
I stumbled across that verse the other night because I typed in the word "serve" to a bible app on my phone. That word --serve-- has been pounding in my heart. I have felt moved to begin serving in a new way, I felt that movement during a conversation with a great friend Last Thursday before I left on retreat. Little did I know He used that conversation, that friend, that woman sitting behind us eavesdropping to start working and preparing my heart for a huge decision. I love what it says in Galatians 5:13. "We were called to be free"... May approaches fast, and I'm graduating. That's a whole new kind of freedom, one that I was called to, one that was planned by God, and one that quite frankly terrifies me.
For a week now I have been praying about a trip. To be honest, I've been praying about this since I got back from Jamaica. I had no idea what it meant, or where it would be and to be honest I wasn't sure it would ever happen. During that conversation last week, I was discussing The World Race, 11 countries in 11 months, my heart was pounding. I have yearned to make that trip for over a year, but again, that wasn't God's plan for me. I have been so focused on a job that I haven't thought about any other options after graduating. Until I read that verse above, the part about "do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh". I had given strong consideration to doing one of two things in May after graduation... either sitting around for the first few weeks and enjoying being done, looking for a job, but spending time doing whatever else I wanted. Or taking a trip to celebrate, maybe to California or South Carolina. Again... God was working. I read that verse and the application it had for me was that either of those options was me indulging the flesh, that I needed to use my freedom to serve God, not myself. It was then, at 2 am, that I made a HUGE decision for my life...
I'm going to Ethiopia.
I graduate on May 8th... on May 13th I fly to Ethiopia for a 2 week mission trip with Southland to build housing for the CMF staff. However that isn't why I'm going. I'm going because God needs to work on my heart, He needs to show me something and I have no idea what that is. I am preparing my heart as best I can, I am praying about being prepared for this trip. Colossians 3:23-24 says: " Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ." I know that I must go to Ethiopia willingly because I will be serving Christ. I need to use my time to further His Kingdom, and to reach out to others. In Jamaica I was broken and in Ethiopia I pray that I am broken as well. I hope that this is God's way of preparing my heart for whatever job I begin upon my return from Africa. So I will go, and I will listen and I will pray...
Pray for me. Pray for this trip. Pray for Ethiopia. Pray that God protects and provides. I am terrified, excited, moved, and faithful. I am ready to see what God can do in my heart on this trip. Keep your eyes peeled on this blog for more updates as God works in my heart and provides some insight. At this point this is all I have, the only thing I know is that I'm going. I don't know why exactly, I don't know what it means, I don't know what will happen. But I know I am going.
Grace and Peace
I stumbled across that verse the other night because I typed in the word "serve" to a bible app on my phone. That word --serve-- has been pounding in my heart. I have felt moved to begin serving in a new way, I felt that movement during a conversation with a great friend Last Thursday before I left on retreat. Little did I know He used that conversation, that friend, that woman sitting behind us eavesdropping to start working and preparing my heart for a huge decision. I love what it says in Galatians 5:13. "We were called to be free"... May approaches fast, and I'm graduating. That's a whole new kind of freedom, one that I was called to, one that was planned by God, and one that quite frankly terrifies me.
For a week now I have been praying about a trip. To be honest, I've been praying about this since I got back from Jamaica. I had no idea what it meant, or where it would be and to be honest I wasn't sure it would ever happen. During that conversation last week, I was discussing The World Race, 11 countries in 11 months, my heart was pounding. I have yearned to make that trip for over a year, but again, that wasn't God's plan for me. I have been so focused on a job that I haven't thought about any other options after graduating. Until I read that verse above, the part about "do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh". I had given strong consideration to doing one of two things in May after graduation... either sitting around for the first few weeks and enjoying being done, looking for a job, but spending time doing whatever else I wanted. Or taking a trip to celebrate, maybe to California or South Carolina. Again... God was working. I read that verse and the application it had for me was that either of those options was me indulging the flesh, that I needed to use my freedom to serve God, not myself. It was then, at 2 am, that I made a HUGE decision for my life...
I'm going to Ethiopia.
I graduate on May 8th... on May 13th I fly to Ethiopia for a 2 week mission trip with Southland to build housing for the CMF staff. However that isn't why I'm going. I'm going because God needs to work on my heart, He needs to show me something and I have no idea what that is. I am preparing my heart as best I can, I am praying about being prepared for this trip. Colossians 3:23-24 says: " Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ." I know that I must go to Ethiopia willingly because I will be serving Christ. I need to use my time to further His Kingdom, and to reach out to others. In Jamaica I was broken and in Ethiopia I pray that I am broken as well. I hope that this is God's way of preparing my heart for whatever job I begin upon my return from Africa. So I will go, and I will listen and I will pray...
Pray for me. Pray for this trip. Pray for Ethiopia. Pray that God protects and provides. I am terrified, excited, moved, and faithful. I am ready to see what God can do in my heart on this trip. Keep your eyes peeled on this blog for more updates as God works in my heart and provides some insight. At this point this is all I have, the only thing I know is that I'm going. I don't know why exactly, I don't know what it means, I don't know what will happen. But I know I am going.
Grace and Peace
2.01.2011
Give 110%... the whole time, every time.
Growing up as a kid I was always playing sports. I played soccer, baseball, basketball almost year around. I wasn't one of those kids that was forced to play, rather I was one that chose to play. I loved the idea of teamwork, the competition, the rush of a win.. and yes the pain of a loss. I learned valuable life lessons, many of them cliche such as: It isn't so much whether you win or lose but how you play the game. Trusting your coach and your teammates is the most important part. You can't win, nor can you really play, all by yourself, it takes the whole team and lastly... Give 110% effort the whole time every time. These cliche sayings themselves aren't the Life Lessons, the life lessons are how these cliche sayings relate to my relationship with Christ.
Lesson.Number.One.
"It's not whether you win or lose, but it's about how you play the game"... Life is a game, one that was created in 1860 by Milton Bradley and has been adapted for computer and video games.... Ok sorry, I couldn't resist. Seriously though, life is about ups and downs, wins and losses, pain and heartache. Many people might disagree with me and say "Life isn't a competition.. blah blah blah" (again kidding, no disrespect).. However there are wins, and there are losses. They come in the form of temptation, struggle, sin and battling the Enemy. Occasionally we ourselves lose to our temptations, sins and the Enemy. I lose on a daily basis. I have sins that plague me, things that I have prayed about but yet not earnestly enough I fear. I lose, but I also win. I win a lot of battles over the Enemy. However it isn't about whether I win or lose, God knows I'm going to fall... we will forever fall short of God and yet He still loves us. He loves us because He created us, and He knows our hearts. I know that when I fight earnestly or I seek guidance that I am playing the game the way God designed it. Will I always win??? Probably not, but as long as I am fighting for the Kingdom, God is there with me... which leads to the next lesson.
Lesson.Number.Two.
"Trusting your Coach and your teammates is essential to a win"... I'm sure you can see where this one is going, so the explanation will be short. God is our Coach and our brothers and sisters in Him are our teammates. We have to trust in God to provide the best game plan, to have all the right plays, and to be ready for anything. As Hebrews 13:5 says "...God said, I will never leave you, I will never forsake you". God is there, and we have to trust that He will show us what is next, Isaiah 26:4 "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock Eternal". Just as with our teammates, we have to trust them to pass of the ball (the word of God), help defend (us from the Enemy), and help read plays and encourage us to push forward, to continue to fight! We have to trust that our brothers and sisters in Christ will help us along our walk, that they will support us, encourage us and defend us. Without them, we can't....
Lesson.Number.Three.
"There is no I in Team..." We can't win by ourselves, we need God to provide us with the proper guidance and tools to beat the Enemy. In fact, He is the only one that can beat the Enemy alone. God is our provider, our protector, our strength. Exodus 14:14 "Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got" Love God with 110% of you. Give your life to follow Him, dedicate everything you do to Him, In everything you do, do it for the glory of the Kingdom.
Give 110% of yourself. God gave His only son for you... what are you willing to do for Him?
Grace and Peace.
Lesson.Number.One.
"It's not whether you win or lose, but it's about how you play the game"... Life is a game, one that was created in 1860 by Milton Bradley and has been adapted for computer and video games.... Ok sorry, I couldn't resist. Seriously though, life is about ups and downs, wins and losses, pain and heartache. Many people might disagree with me and say "Life isn't a competition.. blah blah blah" (again kidding, no disrespect).. However there are wins, and there are losses. They come in the form of temptation, struggle, sin and battling the Enemy. Occasionally we ourselves lose to our temptations, sins and the Enemy. I lose on a daily basis. I have sins that plague me, things that I have prayed about but yet not earnestly enough I fear. I lose, but I also win. I win a lot of battles over the Enemy. However it isn't about whether I win or lose, God knows I'm going to fall... we will forever fall short of God and yet He still loves us. He loves us because He created us, and He knows our hearts. I know that when I fight earnestly or I seek guidance that I am playing the game the way God designed it. Will I always win??? Probably not, but as long as I am fighting for the Kingdom, God is there with me... which leads to the next lesson.
Lesson.Number.Two.
"Trusting your Coach and your teammates is essential to a win"... I'm sure you can see where this one is going, so the explanation will be short. God is our Coach and our brothers and sisters in Him are our teammates. We have to trust in God to provide the best game plan, to have all the right plays, and to be ready for anything. As Hebrews 13:5 says "...God said, I will never leave you, I will never forsake you". God is there, and we have to trust that He will show us what is next, Isaiah 26:4 "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock Eternal". Just as with our teammates, we have to trust them to pass of the ball (the word of God), help defend (us from the Enemy), and help read plays and encourage us to push forward, to continue to fight! We have to trust that our brothers and sisters in Christ will help us along our walk, that they will support us, encourage us and defend us. Without them, we can't....
Lesson.Number.Three.
"There is no I in Team..." We can't win by ourselves, we need God to provide us with the proper guidance and tools to beat the Enemy. In fact, He is the only one that can beat the Enemy alone. God is our provider, our protector, our strength. Exodus 14:14 "Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got" Love God with 110% of you. Give your life to follow Him, dedicate everything you do to Him, In everything you do, do it for the glory of the Kingdom.
Give 110% of yourself. God gave His only son for you... what are you willing to do for Him?
Grace and Peace.
1.26.2011
Jesus and Swan Lake....
Tonight I saw Black Swan, featuring Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis... and I have to say I'm blown away. It was an amazing film, with some unnecessary language and sexual scenes, but it wasn't as bad as many other movies I've seen, it was artistic. Now some of my readers may be concerned with the title of the blog. As always, bear with me and we will bring everything together at the end.
Black Swan is a new movie, therefore I won't fully explain the plot, but I will say it is a new spin on the original Swan Lake ballet. First and foremost for my fellow MEN, don't refuse to see this, believe me, I wasn't sure it would appeal to me either, but it is awesome, it gave me chills and knots in my stomach. It is intense and it's not something that fits our typical idea of a ballet. The thing I liked about it the most? I was confused the entire time. I know, I know, most people come out of a movie saying "That was so awesome, I totally followed that" but not me, this movie I was intrigued and every time it took me a moment to fully comprehend what was occurring, I shrugged it off and waited to see what would come next. I had faith that the Director would make everything come together, that everything would make sense. He would answer all of my questions before it was over, and even though I was confused I had to trust Him and wait for the next scene.
What.About.Life.
Here's where it relates to our relationship with Christ. How many times have we gone through a breakup, a death, a failure, a mistake, a disappointment, a setback and focused solely on that issue. We do it all the time, we are angered by God. The confusion as to why we are hurting is too much for us to handle, we focus on that moment, that event, that let down and think to ourselves to figure out the answer. Why do we do this, because many of us are programmed to blame God for those things and think that it's up to us to figure them out. What if we had the same faith in Christ that we have in the Director of a movie. God is the Director of our lives, so why don't we trust Him every time? During this movie I got a text from someone I care deeply for, someone brought into my life by the GRACE of God, someone who has always inspired me to think outside the box...
Ephesians 1:11 >> "It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone."
WHOA WHOA WHOA! Did you just read that... Christ holds the answer to who we are, why we are here... the overall purpose He is working out. GOD is the Director. It's right there, it tells us that He wrote the screenplay to our lives, long before we even knew He was the director. So here it is. When we are hurt and confused and scared, instead of stopping dead in our tracks and asking why? Why did this happen? Why did we break up? Why me? Why aren't you here? What if we looked at it like a movie? What if we just put our confusion, hurt, anger, and fear to the side and waited for our Director to reveal what comes next, allow Christ to show us the next scene AND bring everything together at the end, so that it all makes sense. I know not everything will always make sense, but it will all work out. God's overall purpose is working out in everything and everyone. So why don't we trust that?
I challenge you, and myself. Go see Black Swan, or watch a movie that will confuse you, and pay attention to the way you react to that confusion... you may say- WHAT?!?!?! but I bet you'll wait for the next scene, you will have faith that the Director is going to pull it all together, and bring it full circle. Then do that with your own life... allow God to show you what's next after every hard time, and allow Him to bring it full circle. Embrace life. Embrace God. Embrace His direction. and Enjoy the Show.
Grace and Peace
B
Black Swan is a new movie, therefore I won't fully explain the plot, but I will say it is a new spin on the original Swan Lake ballet. First and foremost for my fellow MEN, don't refuse to see this, believe me, I wasn't sure it would appeal to me either, but it is awesome, it gave me chills and knots in my stomach. It is intense and it's not something that fits our typical idea of a ballet. The thing I liked about it the most? I was confused the entire time. I know, I know, most people come out of a movie saying "That was so awesome, I totally followed that" but not me, this movie I was intrigued and every time it took me a moment to fully comprehend what was occurring, I shrugged it off and waited to see what would come next. I had faith that the Director would make everything come together, that everything would make sense. He would answer all of my questions before it was over, and even though I was confused I had to trust Him and wait for the next scene.
What.About.Life.
Here's where it relates to our relationship with Christ. How many times have we gone through a breakup, a death, a failure, a mistake, a disappointment, a setback and focused solely on that issue. We do it all the time, we are angered by God. The confusion as to why we are hurting is too much for us to handle, we focus on that moment, that event, that let down and think to ourselves to figure out the answer. Why do we do this, because many of us are programmed to blame God for those things and think that it's up to us to figure them out. What if we had the same faith in Christ that we have in the Director of a movie. God is the Director of our lives, so why don't we trust Him every time? During this movie I got a text from someone I care deeply for, someone brought into my life by the GRACE of God, someone who has always inspired me to think outside the box...
Ephesians 1:11 >> "It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone."
WHOA WHOA WHOA! Did you just read that... Christ holds the answer to who we are, why we are here... the overall purpose He is working out. GOD is the Director. It's right there, it tells us that He wrote the screenplay to our lives, long before we even knew He was the director. So here it is. When we are hurt and confused and scared, instead of stopping dead in our tracks and asking why? Why did this happen? Why did we break up? Why me? Why aren't you here? What if we looked at it like a movie? What if we just put our confusion, hurt, anger, and fear to the side and waited for our Director to reveal what comes next, allow Christ to show us the next scene AND bring everything together at the end, so that it all makes sense. I know not everything will always make sense, but it will all work out. God's overall purpose is working out in everything and everyone. So why don't we trust that?
I challenge you, and myself. Go see Black Swan, or watch a movie that will confuse you, and pay attention to the way you react to that confusion... you may say- WHAT?!?!?! but I bet you'll wait for the next scene, you will have faith that the Director is going to pull it all together, and bring it full circle. Then do that with your own life... allow God to show you what's next after every hard time, and allow Him to bring it full circle. Embrace life. Embrace God. Embrace His direction. and Enjoy the Show.
Grace and Peace
B
11.17.2010
Psalm 119:18
Welcome Back avid readers, sorry for the delay... in case you weren't sure the 'S' in Bradley S Robertson stands for side-tracked... Hopefully I'll be making more time for more frequent posts. I don't know that you all need to read these, but I sure need to write them.... here goes nothing....
Happiness. Is. Fleeting.
But does it have to be that way? To quote a television show, which I normally don't do, "Happiness is a mood, not a destination". We can't arrive at happiness, it's not something we can achieve, it's something we choose. Now I know from experience that a lot of people are going to disagree with me on this whole idea. But hear me out first. I'm not saying that it's insanely easy to be happy, not at all. You can't always wake up in the morning and say "I'm going to be happy all day today, no questions asked!".... WRONG! At the same time though, you don't wake up and say "I don't feel like driving to happiness today, it's not on the map, it's a bit out of the way, I think maybe I'll go there tomorrow." Most of my readers are probably wondering... Where is he going with this? Well, keep reading and you'll find out.
Happiness. Is. Optional.
But it's not always an option right away. I know that some days I wake up, and I pray and pray for happiness, for hope, for the energy to get out of bed and get through the day. Some days that's not what God wants for me, I don't mean He wants me to be unhappy. However, I've said this so many times in this blog I'm afraid to write it again... at the risk of someone destroying my macbook (check youtube), I will say it again... James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds. For the testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must finish it's work so you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." It's what it is. Some days you wake up and feel nothing, or everything, or right in the middle. There is a reason. In my opinion, sometimes it's God's way of saying... "HEY YOU! Lean on me, let me be the light to your path (Psalm 119:105)" We should listen, it's a difficult concept to grasp but we should.
Your.Father.Is.Always.Right.
At 21 years old there is one thing I have learned. My earthly Father isn't always right, but if I tell him he is, my life is much better :). I mean, let's be honest, a lot of the time he knows what he's talking about and admitting that then is great, he loves it. BUT when I admit he's right (even though I know he's not) it makes him feel even better, he feels like he's triumphed. It's a man thing. What's the Lesson from this? If our earthly Father is often right... think about how often our Heavenly Father is right... ALL THE TIME! The problem is we don't always see it, in fact a lot of times we don't see it. Which leads me to the Title of this post...
Psalm 119:18 - "Open my eyes to see, the wonderful truths in your instructions".
Seriously. I know that it's hard to believe that we aren't right, that we can't see things that are right before us. But most of the time we are blind to what God is trying to teach us. and I learned that the hard way recently.
I.Realized.A.Downfall.
A couple of weekends ago I realized a HUGE downfall of my own. I decided to volunteer at Jesus Prom at Southland. Jesus Prom is a prom for mentally/physically disabled people, put on at the church, that gives everyone a chance to experience something that a lot of them didn't get to experience when they were 18, or won't get to experience at 18 in the usual social setting that is a prom. This way they get too and they are surrounded by friends, family, and people that are just there to love them. I signed up because I wanted to be one of those people. I wasn't quite suited to be one of those people, and not that I didn't love them, it was just... hard. It was harder than I ever thought it would be, it was a whole new experience, riddled with challenges, but because of God, I got through it.
I'm. Unsure.
I don't know where I'm going, I don't always understand where I've been, but I know that God will lead me anywhere I am supposed to go, He's my father and He will never leave me. I love you all, and I hope I can love you all the way God loves us, unconditionally and completely without judgment.
Happiness. Is. Fleeting.
But does it have to be that way? To quote a television show, which I normally don't do, "Happiness is a mood, not a destination". We can't arrive at happiness, it's not something we can achieve, it's something we choose. Now I know from experience that a lot of people are going to disagree with me on this whole idea. But hear me out first. I'm not saying that it's insanely easy to be happy, not at all. You can't always wake up in the morning and say "I'm going to be happy all day today, no questions asked!".... WRONG! At the same time though, you don't wake up and say "I don't feel like driving to happiness today, it's not on the map, it's a bit out of the way, I think maybe I'll go there tomorrow." Most of my readers are probably wondering... Where is he going with this? Well, keep reading and you'll find out.
Happiness. Is. Optional.
But it's not always an option right away. I know that some days I wake up, and I pray and pray for happiness, for hope, for the energy to get out of bed and get through the day. Some days that's not what God wants for me, I don't mean He wants me to be unhappy. However, I've said this so many times in this blog I'm afraid to write it again... at the risk of someone destroying my macbook (check youtube), I will say it again... James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds. For the testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must finish it's work so you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." It's what it is. Some days you wake up and feel nothing, or everything, or right in the middle. There is a reason. In my opinion, sometimes it's God's way of saying... "HEY YOU! Lean on me, let me be the light to your path (Psalm 119:105)" We should listen, it's a difficult concept to grasp but we should.
Your.Father.Is.Always.Right.
At 21 years old there is one thing I have learned. My earthly Father isn't always right, but if I tell him he is, my life is much better :). I mean, let's be honest, a lot of the time he knows what he's talking about and admitting that then is great, he loves it. BUT when I admit he's right (even though I know he's not) it makes him feel even better, he feels like he's triumphed. It's a man thing. What's the Lesson from this? If our earthly Father is often right... think about how often our Heavenly Father is right... ALL THE TIME! The problem is we don't always see it, in fact a lot of times we don't see it. Which leads me to the Title of this post...
Psalm 119:18 - "Open my eyes to see, the wonderful truths in your instructions".
Seriously. I know that it's hard to believe that we aren't right, that we can't see things that are right before us. But most of the time we are blind to what God is trying to teach us. and I learned that the hard way recently.
I.Realized.A.Downfall.
A couple of weekends ago I realized a HUGE downfall of my own. I decided to volunteer at Jesus Prom at Southland. Jesus Prom is a prom for mentally/physically disabled people, put on at the church, that gives everyone a chance to experience something that a lot of them didn't get to experience when they were 18, or won't get to experience at 18 in the usual social setting that is a prom. This way they get too and they are surrounded by friends, family, and people that are just there to love them. I signed up because I wanted to be one of those people. I wasn't quite suited to be one of those people, and not that I didn't love them, it was just... hard. It was harder than I ever thought it would be, it was a whole new experience, riddled with challenges, but because of God, I got through it.
I'm. Unsure.
I don't know where I'm going, I don't always understand where I've been, but I know that God will lead me anywhere I am supposed to go, He's my father and He will never leave me. I love you all, and I hope I can love you all the way God loves us, unconditionally and completely without judgment.
3.29.2010
Bouncing Back
It's been long over a month since I posted last... this is long over-due, but so are a lot of things in my life as of lately. In my dry spell from my writing, I unfortunately must say that I've had some dry spells in my prayer, praise, worship, and faith Life. Now, I'm normally not the type of person to write about my own personal issues, but this time is different. I have a love for Christ that is not wavering, however there are times when I don't feel like praising. I realize that sounds terrible, but there are those times when I feel like my heart isn't in it, so why bother? The other day I sat down to read my Bible, and decided I was tired, and didn't feel like it. Many of you, those of you that read this, are probably curious why I'm calling myself out on this? It's because I don't want to give a facade of being the most devote, upstanding Christian that exists. I fall every single day, I fail on a regular basis, and I come up short in meeting the expectations of my brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as Christ himself. What I realize though, is that there is grace in knowing that He is merciful and He expects us to fall. In Isaiah (not sure where, around Chapters 42-52 I think) It talks about how false praise is something that disgusts God. He doesn't want us to do things because we think it "adds to our tally". It's supposed to be something we do out of love for Him.
I. Am. His. Son.
I am a child of God. I am no longer going to pretend to be a perfect Christian, I am someone that falls, but thankfully I will never fall from the grace of God. Even when you aren't practicing the way you are called to, He still loves you. I fully believe that God knows our hearts, He knows when we yearn for Him, and He knows, long before we do, that we will experience periods of doubt, of confusion, distrust, and misunderstanding. Yet, He never leaves. He is ever-present, He is beside us every step of the way. I know the "footprints" thing has become slightly cliche due to the over-the-top worldy spin that has been put on it. I think many look at it as a decoration, just like the Cross, but the "footprints in the sand" is truth. Just as the Cross is. I have a challenge to you, sit down, for 20 minutes, turn on some praise and worship music, clothes your eyes and pray. Pray to be broken, or healed, lifted or grounded, steadied or wavered, strengthened or weakened. Whatever it is you need, ask Him for it. And then wait, wait for His answer, but be cautioned, you may not recieve it while sitting on the floor, or driving to work. There are many things that 3 years ago at 18, I prayed with earnest for, and I still haven't recieved an answer, or at least a recognizeable one. I still pray for things I haven't received answers on, and on certain days I become discouraged, but then I remember a verse shared with me by a new friend: Isaiah 25:1
"O Lord, You are my God
I will exalt and praise your name
For in perfect faithfulness
You have done marvelous things
things planned long ago"
God will provide everything I need, as He will for you. Everything that has happened, and will happen, was planned long before we came to be. Me, writing this, is something that God knew would happen, He placed the exact conversations, thoughts, emotions, and passion for you, in my heart today, in order for me to write this. I know this may be unconventional, but if you are reading this, what's written below is my prayer for you. I won't promise to pray this everyday, because I know I would fail you, but I will try my hardest:
Father, God
I ask that you break my friend
Tear them to pieces, so that you may reassemble them in a way that is glorifying to you
Make them feel whole, give them the strength to move forward
to feel your presence, to call your name
Lord, give me the determination, and the heart
to provide everything I can for each of these people
To pray, listen, love, and guide
to the best of my ability, and allow them to hold me accountable
You know our hearts, Father
You know our thoughts, our souls, our plans
and He has plans in store for us
Allow us to be faithful, and trusting in your plans
and know that you will provide everything we need with time.
We love you so much, Father
thank you for your Grace, and your mercy.
In your name, Amen.
If you're reading this, know that I love you!
Grace and Peace
I. Am. His. Son.
I am a child of God. I am no longer going to pretend to be a perfect Christian, I am someone that falls, but thankfully I will never fall from the grace of God. Even when you aren't practicing the way you are called to, He still loves you. I fully believe that God knows our hearts, He knows when we yearn for Him, and He knows, long before we do, that we will experience periods of doubt, of confusion, distrust, and misunderstanding. Yet, He never leaves. He is ever-present, He is beside us every step of the way. I know the "footprints" thing has become slightly cliche due to the over-the-top worldy spin that has been put on it. I think many look at it as a decoration, just like the Cross, but the "footprints in the sand" is truth. Just as the Cross is. I have a challenge to you, sit down, for 20 minutes, turn on some praise and worship music, clothes your eyes and pray. Pray to be broken, or healed, lifted or grounded, steadied or wavered, strengthened or weakened. Whatever it is you need, ask Him for it. And then wait, wait for His answer, but be cautioned, you may not recieve it while sitting on the floor, or driving to work. There are many things that 3 years ago at 18, I prayed with earnest for, and I still haven't recieved an answer, or at least a recognizeable one. I still pray for things I haven't received answers on, and on certain days I become discouraged, but then I remember a verse shared with me by a new friend: Isaiah 25:1
"O Lord, You are my God
I will exalt and praise your name
For in perfect faithfulness
You have done marvelous things
things planned long ago"
God will provide everything I need, as He will for you. Everything that has happened, and will happen, was planned long before we came to be. Me, writing this, is something that God knew would happen, He placed the exact conversations, thoughts, emotions, and passion for you, in my heart today, in order for me to write this. I know this may be unconventional, but if you are reading this, what's written below is my prayer for you. I won't promise to pray this everyday, because I know I would fail you, but I will try my hardest:
Father, God
I ask that you break my friend
Tear them to pieces, so that you may reassemble them in a way that is glorifying to you
Make them feel whole, give them the strength to move forward
to feel your presence, to call your name
Lord, give me the determination, and the heart
to provide everything I can for each of these people
To pray, listen, love, and guide
to the best of my ability, and allow them to hold me accountable
You know our hearts, Father
You know our thoughts, our souls, our plans
and He has plans in store for us
Allow us to be faithful, and trusting in your plans
and know that you will provide everything we need with time.
We love you so much, Father
thank you for your Grace, and your mercy.
In your name, Amen.
If you're reading this, know that I love you!
Grace and Peace
2.17.2010
Questions and Answers: Made me question myself
I.Am.Thinking.
I'm thinking a lot about faith, Christ, my own relationship with Him, your relationship with Him, the World's relationship with Him. I allowed myself to be the "go-to guy" this evening. I told my middle school kids, to ask questions, any questions they had about God, Jesus, Faith, Christianity, or the bible. I told them I couldn't promise to have all the answers, nor was I certain I would even understand the questions, but I would do my best, and I would find them answers. At first I didn't expect much, I really didn't. I didn't expect a response at all to be honest. So I waited, I told the three that were present that they must each ask one question. Yeah, I'm a bit of a question jerk ha. In all seriousness though, I realize how important it is to ask questions. I realize how important it is for us to ask our peers, our elders, our mentor, our parents, and our loved ones about the things we don't understand. So I sat, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited....
Then. It. Happened.
Then it happened, one kid raised his hand and started off with a pretty general question, one we've all asked before "Why do such bad things happen if God loves everyone?" I cited my favorite verses for such a situation, James 1:2-4 and Psalm 66:10-12, I explained that we go through struggles so that one day we may enter the gates of Heaven, free of sin and complete, not lacking anything. Pretty easy question, I've asked and been asked 1000 times before. I sat there yearning for harder questions, challenging questions, things that I could spend lengths of time explaining, even things I didn't know the answer too. Slowly but surely God started to work, especially through this one kid. They started asking question about God banishing Lucifer from Heaven, why there are different religions, why some people go to hell, why they killed Jesus on the cross. I was enthralled with their questions, I was moved by their curiosity, and I was torn down by realizing my own curiosity had faltered in the last few months.
I. Began. To. Ask.
I began to ask my own questions:
1. Why are you calling me to Youth Ministry?
2. Why am I going to Jamaica?
3. What are your plans for my future.
4. Why do You forgive so easily?
5. Who am I?
6. Who are You?
and so many more questions flooded my heart. It was overwhelming, I just sat there for a moment ,and I've been sitting here ever since trying to find the nerve to write this. Trying to figure out the meaning of it all. And then it hit me, a few weeks ago I came across a verse at 3 am. I text it to my girlfriend and a close friend, no idea why, just felt called. Wasn't able to figure out the meaning in my own life either. Until.Now. Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end" It answers a lot of the questions I have. I'm not going to fathom what God has done, that's the beauty of it, I don't have too. I just have to recognize that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, from my house fire, to break ups, to weddings, to finding that one person that understands you, to losing grandparents, to finding Grace... it's all beautiful in it's time, because it's something that God has given me, it's an obstacle or a blessing, intended for me, and intended to help me grow.
I.Challenge.You.
Sit down this week, call your wife, best friend, mom, dad, sister, dog, whatever into the room or on the phone, and talk to them about Christ. Ask them questions, answer their questions, and if the answer is unknown, research it together. Find the answers, because the answers will help us to better understand Salvation. We have to unite as brothers and sisters in Christ. We have to ask and answer each others questions. Find that person that fills your heart with joy, find that person that you've been praying for, and let them know you are there to answer their questions. Provide an outlet. Be a light to others. Love Christ, Love Christians, Love Character.
Grace and Peace
I'm thinking a lot about faith, Christ, my own relationship with Him, your relationship with Him, the World's relationship with Him. I allowed myself to be the "go-to guy" this evening. I told my middle school kids, to ask questions, any questions they had about God, Jesus, Faith, Christianity, or the bible. I told them I couldn't promise to have all the answers, nor was I certain I would even understand the questions, but I would do my best, and I would find them answers. At first I didn't expect much, I really didn't. I didn't expect a response at all to be honest. So I waited, I told the three that were present that they must each ask one question. Yeah, I'm a bit of a question jerk ha. In all seriousness though, I realize how important it is to ask questions. I realize how important it is for us to ask our peers, our elders, our mentor, our parents, and our loved ones about the things we don't understand. So I sat, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited....
Then. It. Happened.
Then it happened, one kid raised his hand and started off with a pretty general question, one we've all asked before "Why do such bad things happen if God loves everyone?" I cited my favorite verses for such a situation, James 1:2-4 and Psalm 66:10-12, I explained that we go through struggles so that one day we may enter the gates of Heaven, free of sin and complete, not lacking anything. Pretty easy question, I've asked and been asked 1000 times before. I sat there yearning for harder questions, challenging questions, things that I could spend lengths of time explaining, even things I didn't know the answer too. Slowly but surely God started to work, especially through this one kid. They started asking question about God banishing Lucifer from Heaven, why there are different religions, why some people go to hell, why they killed Jesus on the cross. I was enthralled with their questions, I was moved by their curiosity, and I was torn down by realizing my own curiosity had faltered in the last few months.
I. Began. To. Ask.
I began to ask my own questions:
1. Why are you calling me to Youth Ministry?
2. Why am I going to Jamaica?
3. What are your plans for my future.
4. Why do You forgive so easily?
5. Who am I?
6. Who are You?
and so many more questions flooded my heart. It was overwhelming, I just sat there for a moment ,and I've been sitting here ever since trying to find the nerve to write this. Trying to figure out the meaning of it all. And then it hit me, a few weeks ago I came across a verse at 3 am. I text it to my girlfriend and a close friend, no idea why, just felt called. Wasn't able to figure out the meaning in my own life either. Until.Now. Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end" It answers a lot of the questions I have. I'm not going to fathom what God has done, that's the beauty of it, I don't have too. I just have to recognize that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, from my house fire, to break ups, to weddings, to finding that one person that understands you, to losing grandparents, to finding Grace... it's all beautiful in it's time, because it's something that God has given me, it's an obstacle or a blessing, intended for me, and intended to help me grow.
I.Challenge.You.
Sit down this week, call your wife, best friend, mom, dad, sister, dog, whatever into the room or on the phone, and talk to them about Christ. Ask them questions, answer their questions, and if the answer is unknown, research it together. Find the answers, because the answers will help us to better understand Salvation. We have to unite as brothers and sisters in Christ. We have to ask and answer each others questions. Find that person that fills your heart with joy, find that person that you've been praying for, and let them know you are there to answer their questions. Provide an outlet. Be a light to others. Love Christ, Love Christians, Love Character.
Grace and Peace
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