Pierced, Crushed, Beaten, and Whipped... for MY sin and MY rebellion

Sometimes, I sit in my desk chair and feel this strange sense of uncomfortable.

I feel like I don't belong. I don't mean I don't belong at work, or in Columbus, just in general. I have these days where my body just feels... wrong. Where my heart feels heavy and my soul feels crushed. I've written about this before, I've written about the bad days. Today didn't start out like that, but it turned into one.

Anxious. Nervous. Uncomfortable. Sad. Disillusioned. Awkward. Complacent. Unwanted.

Those are the things the enemy puts into my head. Those are the things the enemy wants me to believe, so I forget that, because of my relationship with Christ I am (or should be):

Still. Calm. Provided for. Protected. Joyful. Normal (whatever that means). Content. Wanted. Needed.

LOVED.

These days come in the strangest of ways. Sometimes I wake up feeling that way. Sometimes, it happens in the middle of a conversation. It's never planned, or predicted. It just happens. I used to get really angry about the bad days. Which, in reality, only made the bad days worse. Then I realized that every once in a while the bad days are something I should find comfort in, because I realized this morning... those feelings, that attack from the enemy, is because he desires to make me distant from Christ. Because the enemy doesn't like the relationship I have with Christ. The bad days come, because I'm doing something right. They make me cry out to God while I'm hurting, and they strengthen my relationship with my Creator because each and every time... He answers my cries. Whether that's by a whisper or a whiplash. He answers. 

Today He answered. He answered with a passage from His Word, that made me realize the things that get me down, that bring on the bad days... are nothing compared to the sacrifice He made for me. 

"But He was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all" Isaiah 53:5-6

Even though my heart rate increases, and my body feels out of place, and my thoughts are sad and running wild... these is one constant. Christ died on the Cross, for my salvation, He took on my sin, my rebellion so that I could be whole and healed. Regardless of how many times I stray, and how many times the enemy is able to bring on one of the bad days... My Savior is constant. My Savior loves me. My Savior died for me. and My Savior fights for me daily.

Grace and Peace