I.Have.Been.Thinking.
I know, I know. That first statement scares some of you because you know me all too well. Here's the thing though, as Christians we always talk about the ultimate sacrifice right? I truly believe that God sending Christ to die on the cross is the ultimate sacrifice. I mean, God's ONLY Son, that's HUGE! Of course, to go with that Christ gave up His life on Earth, for our sins. Again, it's HUGE. I just can't get over how crazy that is, but at the same time... I have another thought. It's Christmas time right? The birthday of JESUS himself. The Christmas season, and the thought of the sacrifice made me come up with this thought...
I don't know about everyone else, but my favorite part about Christmas (aside from the fact that it has everything and more to do with my salvation) is the excitement of giving gifts to my friends and family. I just love the creativity that I can exert to find the perfect (for them) gift, the sentiment that it carries, the expression of love, the joy it can bring to them. It's easily what I look forward to the most about Christmas day. (I will admit, #2 is breakfast, #3 is my own present.. No seriously, I really love food.) Which made me think, how excited was God to give us His only Son? I mean, yeah it was a huge sacrifice, but He gave us Christ, and Christ ultimately gave His life because of their love for us. I think when God sent Jesus to be born of Mary, He spent the next 3 years just waiting in anticipation. Waiting for people to realize what He was doing for them. I think God felt a lot like I do about giving gifts to my family. I also think, He's that excited and waits with that same anticipation for us to accept Him as our Creator, Savior, King of Kings, the Lover of our Souls. I think He spent 18 years just fidgeting on His throne waiting for me to accept Him into my life. When I did, it was a HUGE moment for both me and Him. Now, I don't mean to sound arrogant, because I think He waits in anticipation for all the lost and broken to find their way home. I just think about the way I love my family, and the excitement that comes from that love when I get to give them gifts, and I think.. "God loves me more than I could ever love another person, He must be wearing his dancing shoes just waiting for one of us to return home".
Do.It.
I don't know if that all made sense, but I know one thing. God is anticipating giving you a gift, your salvation, all you have to do is say yes. Once you do, He'll be dancing with joy, because of the joy you will then find in Him. Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice with His life, God gave us the ultimate gift in His Son, and our Salvation.
Grace and Peace
12.23.2011
12.19.2011
Before They Were Champions (revised)
It's never been so hard for me to sit down and write what is on my heart... probably because the things on my heart aren't usually this vast or hard to deal with. This is easily going to be the most emotional post I've written those far on As Days Go By... if it doesn't flow like usual, I apologize in advance...
I have spent a collective 19 years living in Hope, Indiana. There was a time when I wanted nothing more than to leave. I was in high school, it was a small town, everyone knew everyone, and I was ready to be on my own. Until December 19th, 2005. That's the day my world came crashing down around me, and had it not been for this small town, I don't know where I would be today. My family lost our home, our belongings, our pets, everything. It was hard to fathom. I stood there at one point listening to someone scream as we watched the fire engulf our home... then I realized the person screaming was ME. It's been six years since we lost our home, and the 19th this year, was just as hard, if not harder than all the others. This post has been many years coming, but it never quite sounded right. It does tonight though. My angst started right around midnight. I was having trouble sleeping, and looked at my phone right as the date changed. It was all down hill from there. Lucky for me, God has blessed me with some amazing friends, one in particular that stepped up last night when I needed her most. I slept about 4 hours last night, the rest of the night was spent tossing and turning, weeping, lashing out in anger, and reminiscing. That pretty much sums up my entire day, except for the fact that I was at work. Once again, I am very lucky to have the friends that I have at my job, they made today a lot easier. After work though, I went to 431 Union Street. It's been a long time since I have stopped there, and as I turned onto the dimly lit street, for a split second I could see our old house. Like a ghost it stood there, in all it's former glory, only to vanish when I blinked. Someone asked me today why I still go there every year. While I was standing there in the cold and the rain, it hit me. It's so that I can be reminded of what matters in life. You see, now that I am in the "real world", the reality of what today means is even clearer. It's not just the cliche "don't take things for granted" or "we are only promised today", but more than that. It's a reminder that it's not about me, or my plans, or my wants. It's about God's plan. Somehow, this was part of the plan (and a pretty bad part if you ask me, it's like the scene in the movie you would love to face forward through, you just can't find the remote). God has shown me a lot of things about that day in the last 6 years, most importantly, He has shown me the value of friendship and community.
I still can't believe the way people took care of us when we lost everything. People gave us clothing, places to stay, food, money, hugs, and most importantly prayers. There were people who probably had barely enough money for Christmas gifts for their own families, that replaced many of ours. People I didn't know offered money, and condolences. There are so many important people I would love to thank for what they did, but that would take a lifetime. One group of people has always stuck out in my mind when I think about that time in my life...
Before they were husbands, fathers, college graduates, teachers, coaches, adventure-seekers, insurance salesmen, businessmen, and athletic trainers, there were a special group of guys that were all part of a State Championship. Some were players, others fans in the crowd. That day was a special day though, because it was in that moment, that I saw Christ bless some very important people in my life, by helping them to achieve their dream.
A little more than 6 years ago I wrote an article that made the local newspaper. It was entitled "Before they were champions.." Take a look:
Hauser High School's boys' basketball team brought home their first state title this year, bringing a terrific season to a perfect end. Team and fans alike celebrated their happiness together. However, Hauser's team isn't one that is only there for the good times. Before they were champions, they were just a group of great guys, and true friends. On December 19th my family lost our house to a fire. We were able to salvage very little. Four days later, we were there ready to sift through the ruins and rubble and find what could be salvaged. As I got out of my car at the site of my former home, I heard more cars pull in behind me. They were members of Hauser's varsity basketball team. Not only are they state champions, but they are true good-hearted friends. Each one of them left practice, and drove straight to 431 Union Street. Gabe Miller, Blake Roth, Zach Fugate, Bobby Jolliff, Bryce Mize, Justin Baute, Brandon Barker, Nate Long, Seth Baute, Bryan Bailey, and Ben Gearhart approached me with arms wide open and smiles on their faces. At that moment I felt the true meaning of living in a small community. Eleven young men, current and former Hauser basketball players, clad in old clothes and heavy gloves, ready to help me and my sister sift through our childhood. As we sorted through the remains, I was able to laugh and cry with the best friends a kid could ask for. Eleven kids willing to give up a day of Christmas break, to help a family in need. I stopped after about an hour of working and looked around at these 11 guys. Replaying the memories I had with each and every one of them in my house. Late nights playing video games, and all day football games in the yard, it was all very emotional for me. They were my support system, and I saw it as my duty to return the favor. I spent my Saturday supporting Gabe Miller, Blake Roth, Zach Fugate, Bobby Jolliff, Bryce Mize, Justin Baute, and Brandon Barker in their time of need, by sitting in the front row of the cheer block, cheering them on in their quest to be "Living the Dream". The others, Nate Long, Seth Baute, Bryan Bailey, and Ben Gearhart joined me in the sea of black at Conseco Fieldhouse. At the end of the game, with all the excitement buzzing, I stopped and took a moment to thank the Lord. I thanked Him for giving back to the friends that had helped me through a very hard time. The memory I have of watching my best friends win a state championship is enough to fill the void of all the things I lost in the burning of my house. It's an amazing feeling to watch the people who you've spent your entire life with, accomplish something that seemed so impossible, for so long. Congratulations to the 2006 Indiana Class 1A Boy's Basketball State Champs, and thank you for all you have done for me and my family.
I am so thankful to this day for those boys, now men. They are still some of my best friends, I have seen 3 of them get married, two others are married with kids, 9 have graduated college, 1 has trained sled dogs in Alaska. These guys have all gone on to do incredible things with their lives. They have continued to be a huge part of my life, and they will never fully comprehend what they mean to me. The other thing is, I can remember so many other people that weren't mentioned in that article because they weren't there that particular day, that should have been added to the list. My dear friend,Nick Long, wasn't able to be there that day, but I remember he came to me later and apologized for being sick. He wanted to be there but needed to rest. Just the fact that he thought there was a reason to apologize meant the world to me.Bryan Fields spent hours searching for my grandfather's 1950 Purdue class ring (pictured below) one of the few things I have left of my Grandfather, and found it amongst all the rubble. The cheerleaders, our neighbors, our friends, our family, the teachers, my soccer team, the coaches, administrators, and coworkers of my parents went above and beyond what anyone could have asked them to do.
Now 6 years later I still have my memories, along with new ones with those old friends. Today was hard, going back to 431 Union Street was emotional, but at least I was able to be surrounded by the people I love, and the people that love me. Always Remember, and Never Forget... 431 Union Street.
Grace and Peace
I have spent a collective 19 years living in Hope, Indiana. There was a time when I wanted nothing more than to leave. I was in high school, it was a small town, everyone knew everyone, and I was ready to be on my own. Until December 19th, 2005. That's the day my world came crashing down around me, and had it not been for this small town, I don't know where I would be today. My family lost our home, our belongings, our pets, everything. It was hard to fathom. I stood there at one point listening to someone scream as we watched the fire engulf our home... then I realized the person screaming was ME. It's been six years since we lost our home, and the 19th this year, was just as hard, if not harder than all the others. This post has been many years coming, but it never quite sounded right. It does tonight though. My angst started right around midnight. I was having trouble sleeping, and looked at my phone right as the date changed. It was all down hill from there. Lucky for me, God has blessed me with some amazing friends, one in particular that stepped up last night when I needed her most. I slept about 4 hours last night, the rest of the night was spent tossing and turning, weeping, lashing out in anger, and reminiscing. That pretty much sums up my entire day, except for the fact that I was at work. Once again, I am very lucky to have the friends that I have at my job, they made today a lot easier. After work though, I went to 431 Union Street. It's been a long time since I have stopped there, and as I turned onto the dimly lit street, for a split second I could see our old house. Like a ghost it stood there, in all it's former glory, only to vanish when I blinked. Someone asked me today why I still go there every year. While I was standing there in the cold and the rain, it hit me. It's so that I can be reminded of what matters in life. You see, now that I am in the "real world", the reality of what today means is even clearer. It's not just the cliche "don't take things for granted" or "we are only promised today", but more than that. It's a reminder that it's not about me, or my plans, or my wants. It's about God's plan. Somehow, this was part of the plan (and a pretty bad part if you ask me, it's like the scene in the movie you would love to face forward through, you just can't find the remote). God has shown me a lot of things about that day in the last 6 years, most importantly, He has shown me the value of friendship and community.
I still can't believe the way people took care of us when we lost everything. People gave us clothing, places to stay, food, money, hugs, and most importantly prayers. There were people who probably had barely enough money for Christmas gifts for their own families, that replaced many of ours. People I didn't know offered money, and condolences. There are so many important people I would love to thank for what they did, but that would take a lifetime. One group of people has always stuck out in my mind when I think about that time in my life...
Before they were husbands, fathers, college graduates, teachers, coaches, adventure-seekers, insurance salesmen, businessmen, and athletic trainers, there were a special group of guys that were all part of a State Championship. Some were players, others fans in the crowd. That day was a special day though, because it was in that moment, that I saw Christ bless some very important people in my life, by helping them to achieve their dream.
A little more than 6 years ago I wrote an article that made the local newspaper. It was entitled "Before they were champions.." Take a look:
Hauser High School's boys' basketball team brought home their first state title this year, bringing a terrific season to a perfect end. Team and fans alike celebrated their happiness together. However, Hauser's team isn't one that is only there for the good times. Before they were champions, they were just a group of great guys, and true friends. On December 19th my family lost our house to a fire. We were able to salvage very little. Four days later, we were there ready to sift through the ruins and rubble and find what could be salvaged. As I got out of my car at the site of my former home, I heard more cars pull in behind me. They were members of Hauser's varsity basketball team. Not only are they state champions, but they are true good-hearted friends. Each one of them left practice, and drove straight to 431 Union Street. Gabe Miller, Blake Roth, Zach Fugate, Bobby Jolliff, Bryce Mize, Justin Baute, Brandon Barker, Nate Long, Seth Baute, Bryan Bailey, and Ben Gearhart approached me with arms wide open and smiles on their faces. At that moment I felt the true meaning of living in a small community. Eleven young men, current and former Hauser basketball players, clad in old clothes and heavy gloves, ready to help me and my sister sift through our childhood. As we sorted through the remains, I was able to laugh and cry with the best friends a kid could ask for. Eleven kids willing to give up a day of Christmas break, to help a family in need. I stopped after about an hour of working and looked around at these 11 guys. Replaying the memories I had with each and every one of them in my house. Late nights playing video games, and all day football games in the yard, it was all very emotional for me. They were my support system, and I saw it as my duty to return the favor. I spent my Saturday supporting Gabe Miller, Blake Roth, Zach Fugate, Bobby Jolliff, Bryce Mize, Justin Baute, and Brandon Barker in their time of need, by sitting in the front row of the cheer block, cheering them on in their quest to be "Living the Dream". The others, Nate Long, Seth Baute, Bryan Bailey, and Ben Gearhart joined me in the sea of black at Conseco Fieldhouse. At the end of the game, with all the excitement buzzing, I stopped and took a moment to thank the Lord. I thanked Him for giving back to the friends that had helped me through a very hard time. The memory I have of watching my best friends win a state championship is enough to fill the void of all the things I lost in the burning of my house. It's an amazing feeling to watch the people who you've spent your entire life with, accomplish something that seemed so impossible, for so long. Congratulations to the 2006 Indiana Class 1A Boy's Basketball State Champs, and thank you for all you have done for me and my family.
I am so thankful to this day for those boys, now men. They are still some of my best friends, I have seen 3 of them get married, two others are married with kids, 9 have graduated college, 1 has trained sled dogs in Alaska. These guys have all gone on to do incredible things with their lives. They have continued to be a huge part of my life, and they will never fully comprehend what they mean to me. The other thing is, I can remember so many other people that weren't mentioned in that article because they weren't there that particular day, that should have been added to the list. My dear friend,Nick Long, wasn't able to be there that day, but I remember he came to me later and apologized for being sick. He wanted to be there but needed to rest. Just the fact that he thought there was a reason to apologize meant the world to me.Bryan Fields spent hours searching for my grandfather's 1950 Purdue class ring (pictured below) one of the few things I have left of my Grandfather, and found it amongst all the rubble. The cheerleaders, our neighbors, our friends, our family, the teachers, my soccer team, the coaches, administrators, and coworkers of my parents went above and beyond what anyone could have asked them to do.
Now 6 years later I still have my memories, along with new ones with those old friends. Today was hard, going back to 431 Union Street was emotional, but at least I was able to be surrounded by the people I love, and the people that love me. Always Remember, and Never Forget... 431 Union Street.
Grace and Peace
12.03.2011
Support Adoption #1
Love.Before.First.Sight.
Nashville is always a refreshing change of scenery, especially when I get to spend time here with two of my favorite people. This weekend is going to be filled with moments spent dreaming, planning, fundraising and scheming about the love, time and care that will go into Elijah's life. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to be this little boy's Uncle B and I haven't even had the chance to meet him, or even see a picture of him. My heart just melts when I think of the first moment I will get to hold him, and the look on Amy and Mike's faces every time he does something new. It's funny how there are some people in your life that you know you were just destined to be family with despite the lack of blood relation. I am ecstatic to be here this weekend and can't even begin to explain how excited I am for Elijah to be here with us, despite not knowing when that will be. The joy that comes over his mother's face whenever she speaks of him is such a reminder of how strong the bond between parent and child is. She will truly be able to tell him that she loved him even before he was born. That she has been praying and planning for his arrival into this world since Christ placed him on her heart. I am so blessed to be a part of this. I am in awe.
Grace and Peace
Nashville is always a refreshing change of scenery, especially when I get to spend time here with two of my favorite people. This weekend is going to be filled with moments spent dreaming, planning, fundraising and scheming about the love, time and care that will go into Elijah's life. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to be this little boy's Uncle B and I haven't even had the chance to meet him, or even see a picture of him. My heart just melts when I think of the first moment I will get to hold him, and the look on Amy and Mike's faces every time he does something new. It's funny how there are some people in your life that you know you were just destined to be family with despite the lack of blood relation. I am ecstatic to be here this weekend and can't even begin to explain how excited I am for Elijah to be here with us, despite not knowing when that will be. The joy that comes over his mother's face whenever she speaks of him is such a reminder of how strong the bond between parent and child is. She will truly be able to tell him that she loved him even before he was born. That she has been praying and planning for his arrival into this world since Christ placed him on her heart. I am so blessed to be a part of this. I am in awe.
Grace and Peace
12.01.2011
Give 10 Cents
I.Have.A.Problem.
Okay, before any of you start saying things to yourself such as "he only has one problem?" let me clarify. I have a problem in front of me currently that is weighing heavy on my heart and the hearts of many people whose faith and relationship with Christ I admire. It's a problem of money, materialism, and American culture. I will admit now, this post is probably a little overdue considering tomorrow is a regular Friday, and not the infamous "Black Friday". However, I'm going to speak my mind on it now, so if you feel like you might agree or even disagree for that matter, keep reading.
Money.Is.Everything?
That's such a sad statement. No, it's not my personal philosophy on life but it is for many people in our country. I spent tonight with a good friend who I haven't seen in a month. During our time together we touched on a multitude of topics from jobs, old friends, new friends, to Holidays. Money was a very present theme, and not in the way you would expect. We talked a lot about how disgusting things like Black Friday are, because of the problems money creates. To make matters worse (and me a little more bitter) this conversation followed a very over-priced meal at a local restaurant. Here's what I don't understand though... There are all these people that fight over merchandise, the pepper-spray fellow shoppers, set fire to cars, punch and bite, and all in the name of what? 30% off a Coach purse that is already so grotesquely overpriced that it should come with a fold-out toilet and minibar? Think about this for a second... Black Friday follows Thanksgiving. So we spend all Thursday afternoon giving Thanks for our friends, family, and many blessings from God etc. and then around 10pm we throw all class out the window and attack people because we want to be sure we get the newest $140 Lego set for our kids who will most likely build half of it one time and set it aside-- intelligent. Now don't get me wrong, I have participated in the madness and I am not putting all you Black Friday shoppers down by any means. I'm just using it as an example of how disgusting the importance of money is in our culture.
What.Does.It.Pay.
I hate this question. I hate asking it and I hate being asked. It's such a terrible question, and unfortunately it's one that you hear more often than not when discussing job opportunities. Since I have been basking in the glories of being unemployed (sarcasm) I have talked to more people than I can count about jobs and money. One guy asked me what it would take, a figure, for me to be in full time ministry. I honestly didn't know how to respond, I wasn't sure how to put a number on living a dream or providing a link between others and Christ. However, because of the way we are conditioned to think, I was able to come up with a very reasonable suggestion (one that was lower than a typical business position but high enough that I could buy my iPad) It's a re-occurring theme in every day life. Money, Money, Money. Believe me, I get it, I have selfish wants and desires too... but I just can't get over the idiocy it creates in people.
Give.10.Cents.
You know those commercials on late night television where if you give $.10 you can change a child's life? Or those really annoying people dressed as Santa Clause asking you for spare change outside of Walmart (this is the last time I'm clarifying my sarcasm, I hope you've caught on by now) Those things really can do some good. I heard about an organization recently that if you donate the price of a cup of coffee they will use it to help underprivileged kids in third world countries. Now, I know there are three groups of people that may read this, they are as follows:
1.) The guy that nods his head and says "Amen brother" and really agrees with you:
This guy or girl, feels the same way about money as you do, they will talk about the need in other places until they are blue in the face and they will donate that cup of coffee, maybe even two! all for the cause, man.
2.) The "What about the children in need in America, God bless America and No one else" guy:
This guy smells what your cooking but thinks that because we are Americans we should focus on ourselves and provide for those in need here, disregarding that most of the poverty in this country is considered middle class in other nations, the ethnocentric guy that sits and the middle and continuously goes "humph"
3.)The grabs cell phone and pretends someone is calling him guy:
This guy uses this to duck the people asking for change for their cause. This isn't just a trick he uses for ex-girlfriends, he actually uses it to duck ministers, police, the homeless, and his mother in law when she drops in for a visit. You would actually think that he is the fix-it man for the entire city with as many times as his phone "vibrates" because someone is calling-- as a side note I would like to add that no one actually takes the time to make their phone audibly ring, it's always on vibrate, and my favorite is when said person's phone actually rings while they are on an "important call"
I will admit I have been all of these people at one time or another which is why I am confident that it is okay that I mock them... I apologize for any hurt feelings. Seriously though, how many of us really ignore the call to help others? Do you really need 6 Starbucks coffees a day (or even one for that matter) Take 5 dollars, 3 dollars, 89 cents (if you buy coffee at your local gas station like myself) and give some change to a charity. Sure you might think it can't impact anyone's life, but you would be wrong. I've been to some of these countries, I've met people that were once sponsor children, I've read and listened to testimonies from recipients of TOMS, Hello Somebody, CURE, or even the Salvation Army that have said that the money we help raise changes lives. Do something about it this year, change the way you look at money, give some away, turn some away, take your dream job that is accompanied by a pay cut, and bless someone else either here or abroad. End rant.
Grace and peace
Okay, before any of you start saying things to yourself such as "he only has one problem?" let me clarify. I have a problem in front of me currently that is weighing heavy on my heart and the hearts of many people whose faith and relationship with Christ I admire. It's a problem of money, materialism, and American culture. I will admit now, this post is probably a little overdue considering tomorrow is a regular Friday, and not the infamous "Black Friday". However, I'm going to speak my mind on it now, so if you feel like you might agree or even disagree for that matter, keep reading.
Money.Is.Everything?
That's such a sad statement. No, it's not my personal philosophy on life but it is for many people in our country. I spent tonight with a good friend who I haven't seen in a month. During our time together we touched on a multitude of topics from jobs, old friends, new friends, to Holidays. Money was a very present theme, and not in the way you would expect. We talked a lot about how disgusting things like Black Friday are, because of the problems money creates. To make matters worse (and me a little more bitter) this conversation followed a very over-priced meal at a local restaurant. Here's what I don't understand though... There are all these people that fight over merchandise, the pepper-spray fellow shoppers, set fire to cars, punch and bite, and all in the name of what? 30% off a Coach purse that is already so grotesquely overpriced that it should come with a fold-out toilet and minibar? Think about this for a second... Black Friday follows Thanksgiving. So we spend all Thursday afternoon giving Thanks for our friends, family, and many blessings from God etc. and then around 10pm we throw all class out the window and attack people because we want to be sure we get the newest $140 Lego set for our kids who will most likely build half of it one time and set it aside-- intelligent. Now don't get me wrong, I have participated in the madness and I am not putting all you Black Friday shoppers down by any means. I'm just using it as an example of how disgusting the importance of money is in our culture.
What.Does.It.Pay.
I hate this question. I hate asking it and I hate being asked. It's such a terrible question, and unfortunately it's one that you hear more often than not when discussing job opportunities. Since I have been basking in the glories of being unemployed (sarcasm) I have talked to more people than I can count about jobs and money. One guy asked me what it would take, a figure, for me to be in full time ministry. I honestly didn't know how to respond, I wasn't sure how to put a number on living a dream or providing a link between others and Christ. However, because of the way we are conditioned to think, I was able to come up with a very reasonable suggestion (one that was lower than a typical business position but high enough that I could buy my iPad
Give.10.Cents.
You know those commercials on late night television where if you give $.10 you can change a child's life? Or those really annoying people dressed as Santa Clause asking you for spare change outside of Walmart (this is the last time I'm clarifying my sarcasm, I hope you've caught on by now) Those things really can do some good. I heard about an organization recently that if you donate the price of a cup of coffee they will use it to help underprivileged kids in third world countries. Now, I know there are three groups of people that may read this, they are as follows:
1.) The guy that nods his head and says "Amen brother" and really agrees with you:
This guy or girl, feels the same way about money as you do, they will talk about the need in other places until they are blue in the face and they will donate that cup of coffee, maybe even two! all for the cause, man.
2.) The "What about the children in need in America, God bless America and No one else" guy:
This guy smells what your cooking but thinks that because we are Americans we should focus on ourselves and provide for those in need here, disregarding that most of the poverty in this country is considered middle class in other nations, the ethnocentric guy that sits and the middle and continuously goes "humph"
3.)The grabs cell phone and pretends someone is calling him guy:
This guy uses this to duck the people asking for change for their cause. This isn't just a trick he uses for ex-girlfriends, he actually uses it to duck ministers, police, the homeless, and his mother in law when she drops in for a visit. You would actually think that he is the fix-it man for the entire city with as many times as his phone "vibrates" because someone is calling-- as a side note I would like to add that no one actually takes the time to make their phone audibly ring, it's always on vibrate, and my favorite is when said person's phone actually rings while they are on an "important call"
I will admit I have been all of these people at one time or another which is why I am confident that it is okay that I mock them... I apologize for any hurt feelings. Seriously though, how many of us really ignore the call to help others? Do you really need 6 Starbucks coffees a day (or even one for that matter) Take 5 dollars, 3 dollars, 89 cents (if you buy coffee at your local gas station like myself) and give some change to a charity. Sure you might think it can't impact anyone's life, but you would be wrong. I've been to some of these countries, I've met people that were once sponsor children, I've read and listened to testimonies from recipients of TOMS, Hello Somebody, CURE, or even the Salvation Army that have said that the money we help raise changes lives. Do something about it this year, change the way you look at money, give some away, turn some away, take your dream job that is accompanied by a pay cut, and bless someone else either here or abroad. End rant.
Grace and peace
11.27.2011
The Hands and Feet...
Lately I have been thinking a lot about what it means to "be the hands and feet of Jesus". For a long time I thought it had a lot to do with missions work. Then in recent months I started to realize that it wasn't just missions (international in particular) it was about so much more than that. Yet, once again my view on what this meant began to be jaded. I started to think that the best possible way to be the hands and feet were to be on staff at a church, working in the ministry (and by working I mean getting paid). I was so focused on finding a job at a church I think I lost the true meaning of the name of my small group. The small group I recently joined is called Christos Doulos (Christ Servants), and at first I was so moved by how fitting that title was. Until I allowed myself to be so focused on the money portion of ministry. Now I'm not naive, I realize ministry doesn't always pay well monetarily, but I thought that was the best way to serve my Savior. Little did I know God would use a very unexpected event to change my thinking...
Sunday.Afternoons.Are.Busy.
Two weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon I didn't even leave the church until 1:30, I had been there since 8:45, but it felt like I had only been there for 20 minutes. God filled that time with so many awesome conversations, experiences, and moments that it was overwhelming. After church I got the opportunity to help a family in need with other members of our church. Over the last two weeks I have strengthened relationships with new friends from CCC, one guy that I really look up too, and this family that I was so blessed by in having the opportunity to help them. Today, I was again asked to assist in something with this situation. It was then that my dear friend Chuck said to the man we were helping, that "no thanks or money was needed, this was what it meant to be the hands and feet of Jesus". It hit me hard....
This.Is.Ministry.
Just standing in the rain on a cold Sunday afternoon allowed me to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus. It also revealed to me that the little things I do each week, or have the opportunity to do and miss out on are all ways to show Christ to others. Whether it be a mission trip, Sunday school, a Youth Convention, or helping a family in need, doing it just for the glory of God is what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus. It's about being mobile in all areas of life. It's about going out and doing things just because you know they are the right things to do.
Coming.Full.Circle.
Now, to wrap this up... This in no way means that I don't still have a passion to work on staff for a church, especially my church. BUT it does mean that I have redefined my life and what it means to be a servant of Christ. I still have the utmost respect and admiration for those that work inside the ministry and the church. Yet I also realize that being a part of the ministry is so much more than working for the church. It's about working for Jesus, and doing all things to glorify HIM.
Grace and Peace
11.22.2011
The Great Rescue
A.Long.Long.Time.Ago.
I have always wanted to start a post that way, mission accomplished I suppose... When I was in middle school I began searching-- like most kids my age (13-14) I started to feel the pressures of becoming a teenager, I started to realize things were going to change right before my eyes and I didn't know how to deal with those changes. You see, like many kids at the stage in life I didn't... fit. It seemed then that everywhere I went I failed to fit in... I was sort of a misfit. On the outside no one knew that I felt this way, or what I was dealing with on the inside. I was so far removed (on my own accord) from things that I had no where to run... no one to talk to (at least that's what the enemy told me)... and so instead-
I.Started.To.Write.
It was natural. I sat at a computer in my room and began pouring my heart into those keys. Each keystroke was like removing a penny from the pile of thousands that had been crushing my soul. No one ever read the majority of those early writing, a few still remain, but the majority were lost with my childhood in a fiery blaze. I didn't realize when the writing began that it would become my biggest outlet for the pain, struggle, trial, tribulations, joys, excitement, and confusion that have been drops of water in the glass of life. I didn't realize this release, this escape that my "anguished" teenage (early at best) heart was relying on would become my spiritual gift (*Disclaimer: Others have called it that, I simply refer to it as a way to organize my thoughts). I never realized that God was behind it all, because during those years (13-17) I didn't give God credit for much of anything.
So.Whats.It.All.Mean.
You (the reader, yeah you the person sitting at your computer thinking why in the world is this nut job still talking to me in parenthesis) might be thinking, where is this going? Tonight I got to hear from the founder of To Write Love On Her Arms. Something he said resonated inside me.. Psalm 34:18 says "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed". You see in my brokenhearted moments God has been there all along and when He couldn't get my attention He planted a seed. He rescued my spirit by giving me an escape, by pushing me to press that first key. He's been rescuing me in the same way ever since. If you have ever read any previous posts you might notice something- Each time I post it's generally about a lesson God has taught, a revelation, a desire, a need or a moment of confusion in which I needed clarity. In all of those instances God is using those thoughts, those words to rescue me from myself, because inherently, I bottled things up and over analyzed everything, before I started writing.. God threw me a life vest to keep me from drowning myself in a sea of ignorance, depression, self-deprecation and brokenness. The best part, is now, I can pray to be broken, because my brokenness is an opportunity for God to put me back together, He will inevitably rescue the pieces and put them back together in a way that will better glorify Him.
What.About.You.
What in your life is drowning you? Is it an internal affliction or an external attack that has you thrashing in the ocean of life, silently screaming for help? Have you asked for a life vest, or has God thrown you one, an you don't even realize it? Define that hobby that just feels normal, that feels like a release. What is that one thing you do that while doing it you feel the pressure lesson? Identify it, give thanks to Christ for it, establish time on a regular basis to work at it, share it with the world, and make sure you do it for the glory of the Kingdom.
Allow God to Rescue You
Grace and Peace
I have always wanted to start a post that way, mission accomplished I suppose... When I was in middle school I began searching-- like most kids my age (13-14) I started to feel the pressures of becoming a teenager, I started to realize things were going to change right before my eyes and I didn't know how to deal with those changes. You see, like many kids at the stage in life I didn't... fit. It seemed then that everywhere I went I failed to fit in... I was sort of a misfit. On the outside no one knew that I felt this way, or what I was dealing with on the inside. I was so far removed (on my own accord) from things that I had no where to run... no one to talk to (at least that's what the enemy told me)... and so instead-
I.Started.To.Write.
It was natural. I sat at a computer in my room and began pouring my heart into those keys. Each keystroke was like removing a penny from the pile of thousands that had been crushing my soul. No one ever read the majority of those early writing, a few still remain, but the majority were lost with my childhood in a fiery blaze. I didn't realize when the writing began that it would become my biggest outlet for the pain, struggle, trial, tribulations, joys, excitement, and confusion that have been drops of water in the glass of life. I didn't realize this release, this escape that my "anguished" teenage (early at best) heart was relying on would become my spiritual gift (*Disclaimer: Others have called it that, I simply refer to it as a way to organize my thoughts). I never realized that God was behind it all, because during those years (13-17) I didn't give God credit for much of anything.
So.Whats.It.All.Mean.
You (the reader, yeah you the person sitting at your computer thinking why in the world is this nut job still talking to me in parenthesis) might be thinking, where is this going? Tonight I got to hear from the founder of To Write Love On Her Arms. Something he said resonated inside me.. Psalm 34:18 says "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed". You see in my brokenhearted moments God has been there all along and when He couldn't get my attention He planted a seed. He rescued my spirit by giving me an escape, by pushing me to press that first key. He's been rescuing me in the same way ever since. If you have ever read any previous posts you might notice something- Each time I post it's generally about a lesson God has taught, a revelation, a desire, a need or a moment of confusion in which I needed clarity. In all of those instances God is using those thoughts, those words to rescue me from myself, because inherently, I bottled things up and over analyzed everything, before I started writing.. God threw me a life vest to keep me from drowning myself in a sea of ignorance, depression, self-deprecation and brokenness. The best part, is now, I can pray to be broken, because my brokenness is an opportunity for God to put me back together, He will inevitably rescue the pieces and put them back together in a way that will better glorify Him.
What.About.You.
What in your life is drowning you? Is it an internal affliction or an external attack that has you thrashing in the ocean of life, silently screaming for help? Have you asked for a life vest, or has God thrown you one, an you don't even realize it? Define that hobby that just feels normal, that feels like a release. What is that one thing you do that while doing it you feel the pressure lesson? Identify it, give thanks to Christ for it, establish time on a regular basis to work at it, share it with the world, and make sure you do it for the glory of the Kingdom.
Allow God to Rescue You
Grace and Peace
11.15.2011
A Hunter's Church
For those of you that live in or around Bartholomew County and actually read the newspaper, this will make a lot more sense to you than it will to others. Tonight, I got home from a small group called The Merge and decided to peruse my local newspaper. Now, I will be the first to admit that I normally come home extremely moved and excited about whatever we discussed in small group, and this night was no different. We had watched a short excerpt (not the whole thing lol) of a film that was shown at CIY. This film was about the persecution of Christians in foreign lands (more on this in future posts). The stories were horrific, and it made me sad in more ways than one. I was sad for those suffering in that way, and I was sad that I at times consider myself to be a persecuted Christian when, to date, the worst persecution I have faced is maybe losing a friend or being made fun of for my faith... Then I picked up the newspaper and the front page headline read: "Hunting for God" and was accompanied by a picture of a bunch of hunters on their knees in a sanctuary presumably praying that they kill the biggest buck of the season. Now, before I go on I must clarify, I have nothing against hunters. In fact, many of my friends hunt, I would like to one day also hunt, and I have a great amount of respect for the skill and patience it takes. However, from reading the headline and looking at the picture, I found myself persecuting these "so-called Christians". I thought to myself, seriously? Are you really going to make a mockery of faith in Christ... this is blasphemy! (I had a small angry rant that was only stated in my head) and then...
Reality.Sank.In.
I realized that I was persecuting my brothers (and sisters) in Christ based on a headline. Remember that thing your Granny used to say when you were little? The whole, "Don't judge a book by it's cover little _______ (insert your name + ie at the end). I was convicted. So I read the article, and it's a good thing I did. If I hadn't read it, then by assuming I knew what it was about I would have made an.. well you know what they say about assuming. Anyway, I read the article and I was amazed at the innovative twist someone had put on reaching others for the Kingdom. This was a legitimate church service, with a real Pastor, real prayers for safety and harvest, attended by real Christians, real sinners, real unbelievers, the whole nine-yards. These are people that found something they love, the outdoors and ammunition, and turned it into an opportunity to reach the lost. Not only were they using hunting as a way to share the Gospel with other hunters, they were using their harvest (the Republic's fancy way of saying "truckloads of dead deer") to feed hungry families who had very little to eat, or money to spend. They were truly Hunting for God. I was moved. The story even talks about some people that attended the service with a friend or relative, and a year, two or three later they had found salvation in being reborn in Christ. What an amazing way to use your hobby to share the Gospel!
Now.I'm.Thinking.
What do you love to do in your "spare time"? Is there an innovative way you can turn your hobby into a mission field? Maybe you love to bake, call local churches and ask to be notified of birthdays for widows, elderly, or single moms. Call nursing homes. Love to work in your garage guys? Do the same thing, only use the contacts at the church to find out who might need help just changing their oil to save a few dollars. We can all use our individual talents and passions to pursue a plan to further the Kingdom, it's time to start thinking outside the box.
One last thing, Always, always, always, read the full article before you turn your nose up at something, you never know how it will change your perspective on life.
Grace and Peace,
Reality.Sank.In.
I realized that I was persecuting my brothers (and sisters) in Christ based on a headline. Remember that thing your Granny used to say when you were little? The whole, "Don't judge a book by it's cover little _______ (insert your name + ie at the end). I was convicted. So I read the article, and it's a good thing I did. If I hadn't read it, then by assuming I knew what it was about I would have made an.. well you know what they say about assuming. Anyway, I read the article and I was amazed at the innovative twist someone had put on reaching others for the Kingdom. This was a legitimate church service, with a real Pastor, real prayers for safety and harvest, attended by real Christians, real sinners, real unbelievers, the whole nine-yards. These are people that found something they love, the outdoors and ammunition, and turned it into an opportunity to reach the lost. Not only were they using hunting as a way to share the Gospel with other hunters, they were using their harvest (the Republic's fancy way of saying "truckloads of dead deer") to feed hungry families who had very little to eat, or money to spend. They were truly Hunting for God. I was moved. The story even talks about some people that attended the service with a friend or relative, and a year, two or three later they had found salvation in being reborn in Christ. What an amazing way to use your hobby to share the Gospel!
Now.I'm.Thinking.
What do you love to do in your "spare time"? Is there an innovative way you can turn your hobby into a mission field? Maybe you love to bake, call local churches and ask to be notified of birthdays for widows, elderly, or single moms. Call nursing homes. Love to work in your garage guys? Do the same thing, only use the contacts at the church to find out who might need help just changing their oil to save a few dollars. We can all use our individual talents and passions to pursue a plan to further the Kingdom, it's time to start thinking outside the box.
One last thing, Always, always, always, read the full article before you turn your nose up at something, you never know how it will change your perspective on life.
Grace and Peace,
11.14.2011
Guest post... Monday??? Sorry Acuff I stole your idea, but this is important!
I have always had a passion for the lost, especially children. I don't just mean children that are lost spiritually, but that are lost when it comes to having a family, feeling love through a hug, or even lost as to when they will eat again... if you have ever felt led to do something about these things, check out the link below. It's a post written by a friend of mine, and while I don't know him as well as I hope to over the next few years, I know that he has an incredible heart for Christ and missions. It's my pleasure to share this with you. He's in Kenya, working for the Kingdom, and changing lives... check this out!
http://ryanbodine.myadventures.org/?filename=is-this-your-child
Grace and Peace
http://ryanbodine.myadventures.org/?filename=is-this-your-child
Grace and Peace
11.06.2011
Jumping stream from fanatic to follower...
2 Timothy 2:22- "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart"
I have always talked about being a person with a missional mindset. I have given messages, written blogs, tweeted, updated my facebook, and talked until I am blue in the face about missions work. I have lived it, I've loved it, I long ago decided it was something I am passionate about. This week though, a book I've been reading really got me thinking... Do it I do it for the glory of Christ? Is it all for the Kingdom, or is it for my ticket INTO the Kingdom?
Not.A.Fan.
I have been reading Not a fan by Kyle Idleman... for those of you that haven't picked up a copy do it now... When I was perusing the Lifeways Recommends section of the bookstore the other day, I came across this book, looked at it for a few minutes and then sat it down. A friend of mine told me he had read it, there were some good points but he thought I probably wouldn't learn a lot from it because I was already past what it talks about, I wasn't a fan I was already a follower. Ironic how those conversations lead you to want to buy the book even more. So I spent the ten dollars and took it home. After I started reading it, I realized that it was the perfect book for me. The fact that I was so intrigued by the book but someone else told me I didn't need to read it should have made one of those little cartoon lightbulbs go off above my head. As I've been reading I came to the conclusion that I have been a fan of Christ at different points in my life instead of a follower. I hadn't let God interfere with many areas of my life that I truly needed Him too. That's apparently why God put it on my heart to make it the first of many unread books that I own, to read.
Following.Faithfully.
I want to follow Christ with such a desire and passion in my heart that I don't even have to ask questions like the one posted above (Do I do it for the glory of Christ). I want to wake up each morning knowing that I am getting out of bed with a heart prepared to do the Lord's work in any situation I face that day. Does this mean that I am delusional and can't recognize that I will inevitably fail? Not at all... I know I will fail and fall short each and every day. That's what is so beautiful about my relationship with Christ though... it doesn't matter. What matters is that I wake up ready to serve Him, ready to further His Kingdom in every way possible. He knows I'm going to fall short, but He also knows my heart and my intentions. He sees inside of me what others miss sometimes, which is not only pain and regret, but desire and yearning. Things that I often don't see in myself. So regardless of my employment status, my lack of a need for an alarm in the morning, or a bedtime, I am going to start living better. I am going to follow Christ, instead of cheering Him on as I would an athlete, musician, comedian, or friend.
The.Time.Is.Now.
I am no longer going to waste my days feeling complacent over the issues that I face. I am so caught up in the first world "problems" that I am facing that I forget about the hardwork, determination, and passion that I was taught by the people I met in Ethiopia. I need to start utilizing my days to work harder on my book, my job hunt, caring for those in need, letting people know that I am thinking of them, praying for those people, communing with other followers, and reaching out to the lost. I want to start a revolution in my city. I want to show people how to love like Jesus loved, but first I have to allow myself to feel His love every minute of every day. I need to love Him the way He has loved me. I am ready. The Time is Now.
Love.Is.The.Answer.
Grace and Peace
I have always talked about being a person with a missional mindset. I have given messages, written blogs, tweeted, updated my facebook, and talked until I am blue in the face about missions work. I have lived it, I've loved it, I long ago decided it was something I am passionate about. This week though, a book I've been reading really got me thinking... Do it I do it for the glory of Christ? Is it all for the Kingdom, or is it for my ticket INTO the Kingdom?
Not.A.Fan.
I have been reading Not a fan by Kyle Idleman... for those of you that haven't picked up a copy do it now... When I was perusing the Lifeways Recommends section of the bookstore the other day, I came across this book, looked at it for a few minutes and then sat it down. A friend of mine told me he had read it, there were some good points but he thought I probably wouldn't learn a lot from it because I was already past what it talks about, I wasn't a fan I was already a follower. Ironic how those conversations lead you to want to buy the book even more. So I spent the ten dollars and took it home. After I started reading it, I realized that it was the perfect book for me. The fact that I was so intrigued by the book but someone else told me I didn't need to read it should have made one of those little cartoon lightbulbs go off above my head. As I've been reading I came to the conclusion that I have been a fan of Christ at different points in my life instead of a follower. I hadn't let God interfere with many areas of my life that I truly needed Him too. That's apparently why God put it on my heart to make it the first of many unread books that I own, to read.
Following.Faithfully.
I want to follow Christ with such a desire and passion in my heart that I don't even have to ask questions like the one posted above (Do I do it for the glory of Christ). I want to wake up each morning knowing that I am getting out of bed with a heart prepared to do the Lord's work in any situation I face that day. Does this mean that I am delusional and can't recognize that I will inevitably fail? Not at all... I know I will fail and fall short each and every day. That's what is so beautiful about my relationship with Christ though... it doesn't matter. What matters is that I wake up ready to serve Him, ready to further His Kingdom in every way possible. He knows I'm going to fall short, but He also knows my heart and my intentions. He sees inside of me what others miss sometimes, which is not only pain and regret, but desire and yearning. Things that I often don't see in myself. So regardless of my employment status, my lack of a need for an alarm in the morning, or a bedtime, I am going to start living better. I am going to follow Christ, instead of cheering Him on as I would an athlete, musician, comedian, or friend.
The.Time.Is.Now.
I am no longer going to waste my days feeling complacent over the issues that I face. I am so caught up in the first world "problems" that I am facing that I forget about the hardwork, determination, and passion that I was taught by the people I met in Ethiopia. I need to start utilizing my days to work harder on my book, my job hunt, caring for those in need, letting people know that I am thinking of them, praying for those people, communing with other followers, and reaching out to the lost. I want to start a revolution in my city. I want to show people how to love like Jesus loved, but first I have to allow myself to feel His love every minute of every day. I need to love Him the way He has loved me. I am ready. The Time is Now.
Love.Is.The.Answer.
Grace and Peace
10.17.2011
Faith is Living... and My heart is anxious
Just.A.Song
There's a song I listen to pretty often by John Waller called Faith is Living. It's always been a huge encouragement to me, it's a song crying out to God about trusting in Him, having faith that He would provide, stepping out into the unknown because you know He will protect you. My favorite line is the beginning of the second verse: "I want to be a man like Abraham, who went to a foreign land, because YOU said Go, he trusted YOU by faith".. Now I have thought about that verse so many times but the other night it really hit me hard during a conversation with one of my closest friends. We were discussing the prospects of me moving, her vote is for me to return to Lexington, but I know she supports me no matter what. I think it was really the first time that I realized I wasn't just okay with going where God sent me, I desired it.
Its.Time.To.Move.
I am so ready and so anxious to see where God wants to send me. I have no idea what's next, but that conversation the other night made me realize that for the first time in my life and I am completely ready for God to do something so radical I can't even imagine what it is. Whether that be that He sends me overseas again, or just to another state, or even just a few miles down the road I am ready for change. I am ready to experience the rush of something new, the uneasiness of a new place, the uncomfortable feeling that comes with being somewhere I may have never been before. So I decided I wanted to live my life like Abraham, I want to go wherever Christ says go. Then I realized I didn't even know that much about Abraham.
So.I.Read.
I have a book called the Top 100 Men of the Bible (no I don't know how the person got the clout to write such a title) but I looked up Abraham and read the little two page synopsis. I realized I knew more than I thought about him but here's what blows my mind. Not only did Abraham move when God commanded, but He also was willing to sacrifice his son in order to do as God asked him. Which made me wonder.. If I am really going to try to become a man like Abraham, what am I willing to sacrifice in order to glorify my God? What a tough question, and reality hits hard. Lately I haven't been living my life as though I'm willing to sacrifice anything. I have really been living for Brad the last week or so and it's time for that to end. I think that's one of the reasons I am so open to change, I think I am realizing slowly that I am willing to sacrifice what's comfortable for what's uncomfortable, what's normal for what's weird, what's safe for what's not so secure. I am ready to truly live like Abraham and sacrifice the life that I love, the life I live at home in Hope for the glory of God. Now that doesn't mean that I can't glorify God in Hope, but I feel a strong call to go elsewhere, I'm just not sure where that is yet. So pray with me, pray for me, pray about where God is leading your heart. Pray for the opportunity to sacrifice. I want to lead a life like Abraham, one in which with time I learn to go where He says go, and sacrifice at any cost... What do you want your life to look like??
Grace and Peace
There's a song I listen to pretty often by John Waller called Faith is Living. It's always been a huge encouragement to me, it's a song crying out to God about trusting in Him, having faith that He would provide, stepping out into the unknown because you know He will protect you. My favorite line is the beginning of the second verse: "I want to be a man like Abraham, who went to a foreign land, because YOU said Go, he trusted YOU by faith".. Now I have thought about that verse so many times but the other night it really hit me hard during a conversation with one of my closest friends. We were discussing the prospects of me moving, her vote is for me to return to Lexington, but I know she supports me no matter what. I think it was really the first time that I realized I wasn't just okay with going where God sent me, I desired it.
Its.Time.To.Move.
I am so ready and so anxious to see where God wants to send me. I have no idea what's next, but that conversation the other night made me realize that for the first time in my life and I am completely ready for God to do something so radical I can't even imagine what it is. Whether that be that He sends me overseas again, or just to another state, or even just a few miles down the road I am ready for change. I am ready to experience the rush of something new, the uneasiness of a new place, the uncomfortable feeling that comes with being somewhere I may have never been before. So I decided I wanted to live my life like Abraham, I want to go wherever Christ says go. Then I realized I didn't even know that much about Abraham.
So.I.Read.
I have a book called the Top 100 Men of the Bible (no I don't know how the person got the clout to write such a title) but I looked up Abraham and read the little two page synopsis. I realized I knew more than I thought about him but here's what blows my mind. Not only did Abraham move when God commanded, but He also was willing to sacrifice his son in order to do as God asked him. Which made me wonder.. If I am really going to try to become a man like Abraham, what am I willing to sacrifice in order to glorify my God? What a tough question, and reality hits hard. Lately I haven't been living my life as though I'm willing to sacrifice anything. I have really been living for Brad the last week or so and it's time for that to end. I think that's one of the reasons I am so open to change, I think I am realizing slowly that I am willing to sacrifice what's comfortable for what's uncomfortable, what's normal for what's weird, what's safe for what's not so secure. I am ready to truly live like Abraham and sacrifice the life that I love, the life I live at home in Hope for the glory of God. Now that doesn't mean that I can't glorify God in Hope, but I feel a strong call to go elsewhere, I'm just not sure where that is yet. So pray with me, pray for me, pray about where God is leading your heart. Pray for the opportunity to sacrifice. I want to lead a life like Abraham, one in which with time I learn to go where He says go, and sacrifice at any cost... What do you want your life to look like??
Grace and Peace
9.27.2011
Big answers in small packages...
Countless times I find myself saying "Okay God, I'm waiting for your answer" and I expect it to be huge, like written out in the sky by the clouds, spelled out on billboards heading down SR 46 on my way to work huge. And almost every time one of two things happens 1. God answers in the most quiet subtle way imaginable, OR He uses a small experience to slap me in the face with a realization. Tonight was the latter... Background.Story. I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately, most of it self-inflicted stress. I've been worried about my job, my friends, members of my family, etc. Just as a basis for the rest of this post here's what's been bothering me-- My job ends in two weeks, and I need a new one. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and that quiet frankly scares the crap out of me. My Great Aunt who I hold near and dear to my heart has colon cancer, I hate cancer with a passion (at this point you must keep reading, irony awaits you) and I am sick of seeing it destroy the lives of loved ones. I have friends dealing with heartbreaks, death, illness, fear, and failure so I envelope myself in their problems to avoid my own, even though my own problems are very similar to theirs.
The.Breaking.Point.
Saturday was a crazy day, after a crazy week, and I just wasn't sure what to do. I left Purdue and time with my best friend and one of the most amazing women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing to come back to Hope early that morning. I was going to see other friends which made the drive bittersweet. Yet, the thoughts of my future that flooded my mind on the ride home began to paralyze me. Once home I ignored it, focused on an issue of forgiveness and grace, and enjoyed my afternoon. Then I got word that a guy I have been praying for, a guy who meant a lot to this town and a lot to my family, lost his battle with cancer. I didn't know how to react, I just buried it like everything else... until Monday morning. I woke up with such a heavy heart and I cried the whole 30 minute drive to work. Now, I must say I am incredibly thankful for Lindsey, because had it not been for her encouragement I may have turned around and gone home. While crying I screamed for God's comfort, for answers, for something to give me hope for the future. Yet nothing came... until tonight.
Faith.Like.A.Child.
Tonight I went to teach my Kids Like Me class to a bunch of 7-8 year olds at Church. I was still dealing with a lot but the energy in that room always clears my mind and renews my soul. I stopped stressing for a little while and tried to enjoy acting like I'm 8, which as many of you know isn't hard for me to do. Then God started to answer everything I explained earlier in such a big way, from such a small girl. Her name is Kate and she's 9 years old. Now at first Kate didn't want to come into our class, but eventually she came in and had a blast. While out on the playground I heard one of the kids tell me that Kate had her own t-shirts that they sold at school. I asked why she had her own tshirt and she very nonchalantly replied "Because I go to Riley Childrens Hospital" now being curious I again asked her why, she shrugged her shoulders and said "I have cancer"... I went on to learn that she has neuroblastoma and has been battling it since she was 3 years old. I was shocked, and I drove home stunned and I sit here now completely flabbergasted (yes I just said that). At first my heart merely broke for her, I couldn't imagine being 9 years old and spending 2/3 of my life thus far battling cancer...
Big.answers.little.packages.
Remember how I said I hate cancer? God's irony at it's best, leave it to Him to use someone battling cancer to help me realize the answer to my questions as of lately, someone that is much more courageous than I am. Driving home I realized it was part of the plan to meet Kate. Not just so I could pray for her, not so my heart would break for her, and not so I would tell all of you about her. It was so much more than that. See this whole time I thought I was the teacher (funny how this always happens to me in ministry) and yet here's Kate a 9 year old girl teaching me more than I could ever hope to teach her. Kate is a vibrant child and an exhilarating breath of fresh air. God used Kate to make me realize that it all comes down to faith. Here I am, a man claiming to rely fully on God and yet stressed beyond belief over such minor things such as a job. Standing in front of a little girl who has been battling for her life for 6 years and shrugs it off like it's a lightning bug on her shoulder during a night game of tag in the middle of July. No big deal. You see even if Kate is scared she understands it's in God's hands. Thank God for the people that have instilled faith in this little girl. It made me understand that if a 9 year old can put her mortality in the hands of God and shrug it off, than putting all of the things that have been weighing on my soul so heavy should be easier. It's like Luke says in chapter 18 verses 16&17-- 16 Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. 17 I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” If we have faith like a child, if we receive the Kingdom as a child does, we'll inherit it. A child? Someone so small, young, naive, inexperienced at life... no, someone that has yet to be corrupted by this world, someone who still understands the fundamental parts of faith, that isn't bitter at the world yet... someone like Kate.
Grace and Peace
The.Breaking.Point.
Saturday was a crazy day, after a crazy week, and I just wasn't sure what to do. I left Purdue and time with my best friend and one of the most amazing women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing to come back to Hope early that morning. I was going to see other friends which made the drive bittersweet. Yet, the thoughts of my future that flooded my mind on the ride home began to paralyze me. Once home I ignored it, focused on an issue of forgiveness and grace, and enjoyed my afternoon. Then I got word that a guy I have been praying for, a guy who meant a lot to this town and a lot to my family, lost his battle with cancer. I didn't know how to react, I just buried it like everything else... until Monday morning. I woke up with such a heavy heart and I cried the whole 30 minute drive to work. Now, I must say I am incredibly thankful for Lindsey, because had it not been for her encouragement I may have turned around and gone home. While crying I screamed for God's comfort, for answers, for something to give me hope for the future. Yet nothing came... until tonight.
Faith.Like.A.Child.
Tonight I went to teach my Kids Like Me class to a bunch of 7-8 year olds at Church. I was still dealing with a lot but the energy in that room always clears my mind and renews my soul. I stopped stressing for a little while and tried to enjoy acting like I'm 8, which as many of you know isn't hard for me to do. Then God started to answer everything I explained earlier in such a big way, from such a small girl. Her name is Kate and she's 9 years old. Now at first Kate didn't want to come into our class, but eventually she came in and had a blast. While out on the playground I heard one of the kids tell me that Kate had her own t-shirts that they sold at school. I asked why she had her own tshirt and she very nonchalantly replied "Because I go to Riley Childrens Hospital" now being curious I again asked her why, she shrugged her shoulders and said "I have cancer"... I went on to learn that she has neuroblastoma and has been battling it since she was 3 years old. I was shocked, and I drove home stunned and I sit here now completely flabbergasted (yes I just said that). At first my heart merely broke for her, I couldn't imagine being 9 years old and spending 2/3 of my life thus far battling cancer...
Big.answers.little.packages.
Remember how I said I hate cancer? God's irony at it's best, leave it to Him to use someone battling cancer to help me realize the answer to my questions as of lately, someone that is much more courageous than I am. Driving home I realized it was part of the plan to meet Kate. Not just so I could pray for her, not so my heart would break for her, and not so I would tell all of you about her. It was so much more than that. See this whole time I thought I was the teacher (funny how this always happens to me in ministry) and yet here's Kate a 9 year old girl teaching me more than I could ever hope to teach her. Kate is a vibrant child and an exhilarating breath of fresh air. God used Kate to make me realize that it all comes down to faith. Here I am, a man claiming to rely fully on God and yet stressed beyond belief over such minor things such as a job. Standing in front of a little girl who has been battling for her life for 6 years and shrugs it off like it's a lightning bug on her shoulder during a night game of tag in the middle of July. No big deal. You see even if Kate is scared she understands it's in God's hands. Thank God for the people that have instilled faith in this little girl. It made me understand that if a 9 year old can put her mortality in the hands of God and shrug it off, than putting all of the things that have been weighing on my soul so heavy should be easier. It's like Luke says in chapter 18 verses 16&17-- 16 Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. 17 I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” If we have faith like a child, if we receive the Kingdom as a child does, we'll inherit it. A child? Someone so small, young, naive, inexperienced at life... no, someone that has yet to be corrupted by this world, someone who still understands the fundamental parts of faith, that isn't bitter at the world yet... someone like Kate.
Grace and Peace
9.18.2011
Providing Uncertainty
the insecurity of not knowing what is next usually destroys me... lately I find comfort in it, because it reminds me I am not in control. I need that reminder so often. It's funny the way God works. Today I have been frustrated, tired, complacent, questioning, uncertain, and discouraged. Then God did three things-- 1. He sent me on a 2 hour drive to help someone, and it was the most beautiful drive I have taken in quite a long time. 2. He provided a conversation about the Bible that got me thinking about the plans we make for ourselves and how they don't always line up with God's plan. 3. He comforted me about where I am with relationships with other people, partly by conversation and by a text message I just received from someone very important to me. It's funny that these things happen, because all of them went against my plan for today. Thank you for the failure of my plans, Lord, thank you for providing uncertainty so I can let you work in my life.
Grace and Peace,
B
Grace and Peace,
B
9.10.2011
Pray for the World
I feel a season of change coming... I'm fearful yet faithful that God will provide in every instance... slightly contradictory I know. I need prayers. I need prayers for my heart, for my future, for a job, for my Aunt battling cancer, for my friends that are without faith, for my future nephew coming from Ethiopia, for the world. Do that for me tonight... scratch that, do that for yourselves. Don't pray for all of the things I listed, just pray for one. Pray for the world. The people, the cultures, the violence, the sadness, the darkness, the economy... pray for a revolution started by Christian activists. Because if we aren't active in our faith-- what are we?
Grace and Peace-
Grace and Peace-
8.25.2011
Adversity breeds Revival
I've been dealing with some crazy stuff it seems like. Some of it is my on adversity, some of it is the adversity of those I care a lot about. Yet, these two different types of adversity have created a creative spark. I have ideas.. I have BIG ideas about what comes next. I'm letting go of the focus I have on how terrible my current job seems to be. I'm going to embrace the situation I'm going to us it to start spreading the word to people that I'm providing financial solutions to. Get ready for something big... It may take months, and only a select few will know what's coming. Either way pray for it... change is daily, change is terrific, change is going to change lives. It's a new day, every morning we get a new start. Pray for it.
7.09.2011
Rollercoasters
Life moves faster than I want it too...
I'm learning to take all things in stride... to let God take complete control instead of trying to handle things on my own. Reading this book called Radical is helping greatly. The last few nights have been sleepless to say the least, my heart and mind have caused any rest to be absent from my body and soul. I prayed for comfort at first... then I remembered that David Platt says we should be bold, and instead of praying for comfort, we should just pray for the Comforter... that's what I'm doing, and God has flooded me with His grace and mercy, He has flooded me with the Holy Spirit. While I don't like the direction some things are going... I am at peace, and I know with time, if I'm patient, God will reveal the right direction for the things I'm struggling with.. I need Him now, and the greatest part of needing Him is that He is always there...
Grace and Peace
7.06.2011
Getting back to me...
So the description of this blog is "Life as it happens" roughly... well, Life has been happening, in quick and crazy ways but I am excited about every moment of it. I am so thankful for the direction God is taking my life... so this blog is going to be very random, and very much about everything He is doing an teaching me.
First things first, the last few times I've blogged I have talked about the uncertainty in my life, and while some of that still exists God has been answering prayers left and right. Starting with redefining who I am. When I went to Ethiopia my life seemed to be a mess, I was confused about life, love, faith, and future. Coming back to Indiana was not my first choice, but I realize now that it was His purpose not mine. I have rekindled some old friendships and strengthened many others. I am so thankful for the friends God has placed in my life, especially those that have been so consistent during the bad times throughout the years. I truly feel at home in this town, and while I still struggle with missing Lexington and desiring to move to Nashville, I realize that without this place, without these people I wouldn't be who I am now. I feel as though I am back to my roots, to the person I was supposed to be all along. I feel like me, and that is a feeling I have been missing for quite some time...
I finally landed a job. This last two weeks has been an absolute whirlwind of emotion and faith. I got turned down after one interview, and I was struggling. Yet, God provided an opportunity that starts in a few days and I am so thankful to be back at IBT for a while. I made my deadline, I had a job by July 1st and that is truly God working in awesome ways. I can't wait to begin this position and see where God leads me next.
Laughter is no longer scarce in my laugh. I have laughed more in the last 4 weeks than I have in a very long time. Late nights with great friends, text conversations about things that make no sense, and every moment spent with the people that know me better than anyone else have improved my quality of life. I am experiencing quality and quantity of time with those I love more than ever before, and it is even at the point that I don't have enough time to spend with all of those people. My heart has been filled with desire for the last few weeks to make some changes in different relationships and God has provided. I am so blessed to be in the place that I am. I wake up every day even more thankful and excited for what God will do next, it absolutely blows my mind.
When I got home, my focus was on God, and Brad. I became selfish very quickly, and the two people I love most suffered for that. I am so thankful I have the understanding and caring parents that God gave me. I am blessed beyond words to have my Mom and Pops by my side every step of the way, guiding and directing me, and teaching me things, by the grace of God. I guess I never took the time to realize how well my parents truly listen to God, and how well I need to listen to Him and them. Granted we still have our differences, but seeing the love they share with each other, and the love they show my sister and I gives me hope that I can one day be the man, husband, and father God is calling me to be, one that will be close, yet fall short of all that my Pops has been to our family.
I still struggle with the things that are lost. My house at 431 Union Street, the parts of my childhood that went with that, my grandparents, friends that have come and gone, and the things I let slip away. But God has blessed me ten times over, and I couldn't be more thankful for that. Sitting here listening to music and the song playing says it all... "I'm what I am, and I'm what I'm not, and I'm sure happy with what I've got, I live to love and laugh a lot, and that's all I need...I've never wanted nothin' more" I am moved by the power of God's grace.
Stay tuned viewers, there is so much more to come... some of which is already in my heart but not yet ready for the world... or facebook to hear.
Grace and Peace,
B
6.22.2011
Rock Solid
I returned to the Bible study Open Table the other night as planned. What I didn't realize though was how God was going to speak to me, how powerful the scripture and discussion was going to be. Everything was good, from the start my mind was racing with answers to the questions that were posed. One question/scripture really caught my attention though and it was the 7th question and the scripture came from Matthew 7:24-25. The scripture reads: (Jesus says) "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock." Now, as soon as I read this I started thinking about some of the weddings I have been to in the last year and a half, and stay with me as I break this down. At some of these weddings instead of doing the traditional lighting of the Unity Candle, the Bride and Groom have down a "mixing of the sands". What this generally looks like is the Minister takes a rock and places it in a glass vase to signify Christ being the Eternal Rock that this marriage will be built on. There are many scriptures that reference God as being the Eternal Rock on which we should build our lives such as the one above and one of my favorites Isaiah 26:4. The Bride, Groom, and Minister then proceed to each dump a different colored sand over the rock, the bride and groom's sands are colors of their choosing, but the Minister's sand is white to symbolize the purity, grace and mercy that comes with two lives becoming one in Christ. All three are poured in simultaneously, mixing together to show that these two have become one in Christ. The vase is then sealed with wax so the newly weds may keep this as a memory of that day.
Now there is a reason this verse applies to all of us and God placed a different idea on my heart. Let me ask you this, should there only be a rock in the main vase? Should only the unity of two lives becoming one be built on the Rock Eternal? I say simply, no. Both the Bride's vase and the Groom's vase should each contain their own rock. We should be building our daily lives on the Eternal Rock so that we are much more stable and balanced when we are united with the person God made to perfectly compliment us. Why would you want to try and stick two unstable foundations onto a solid piece of the puzzle, that can't hold both people without tipping one way or the other? The tipping is what causes separations and divorce, heartache and headaches. I think it is crucial that our generation build our own houses on a solid foundation daily, that way we can add that experience to the vase, and stand a little more firmly on our Rock, our Creator. Why don't we challenge ourselves on a more daily basis to build our lives on the solid foundation of Christ? I'm not saying that no one does this, I just don't think it's as prevalent as it should be, I know it's something I have struggled with. Take this challenge with me, each morning wake up and start your day with Christ, eat lunch with Christ, take your coffee breaks with Christ, spend time at the gym, in the car, in your room, or at your job with Christ and fully focus on that time. See if your life doesn't change...
Grace and peace
6.09.2011
An unfolding story...
My life seems like it has been a whirlwind since I returned from Africa. God has done so many amazing things in my life, I feel like I am being blessed far beyond what I deserve which makes me think about how truly unworthy we are. Last night at small group we had a discussion about God being a part of our lives, about if He accepts us for who we are, and so on. I was blown away at the thought that God, the creator of Heaven and Earth, completely accepts me for who I am, merely because He loves me. No matter how many times I screw up, no matter how many times I fail, or let Him down... He always lifts me up. I guess I never realized how much hope I truly have only because I know God on a personal level. Throughout my life I have merely gotten by as far as the whole Christian thing is concerned, until the last few years. When I really decided to hand my life over to Christ, I realized during our conversation last night, that I no longer fear the same things, I have hope for good results in difficult times, I look forward to what He has planned. I think I am just blown away by the fact that He shows us grace... at no cost to us. Jesus didn't just die on the cross to forgive our sins... Jesus died on the cross because He loved us so much He couldn't bear the thought of not having us join him for eternal life in Heaven... this whole idea makes me think of my own life...
Show.More.Grace.
I realized that a lot of times in my own life, I expect things from other people before I show them grace. I expect an apology at the least... and even then sometimes I fail to show them grace. But JESUS showed me, you, and all of us grace, before we were even alive, before we had even been conceived. AND if Ephesians 5:1 says "Be imitators of God" shouldn't we be willing to show others grace more easily, if Jesus could show us God's grace centuries before we were around?? I realize this post is a little scatter-brained, but it's something that has been stirring around inside me most of the day. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it... For that matter I'm still trying to wrap my head around all the amazingly wonderful things God has done in my life in the last week and a half (and of course before then too)... For the first time I feel like I am the character in a book, watching my own story unfold, a story that was set into motion long ago, a story that already has an ending... and for the first time, I don't want to put the book down, I want to keep reading, and see what great adventures and devastating disappointments await me...
Grace and Peace
6.08.2011
A change of country, brought a change of heart
I apologize for the lack of updates following my return to the United States, but fear not, now that I am home for good I intend to update multiple times a week. Let's get to the real meat and potatoes right off the bat. Ethiopia. Wow...
I.Am.Changed.
I had no idea what to expect when I left this place for a third-world country, for a place I had never been too, to a place that I knew very little about. It's probably a good thing I had very little expectation for my trip, because it allowed me to be open to everything God wanted to do in my life. As some of you know our trip started out pretty rocky with some delay in flights, causing us to spend a whole day in Detroit (yippeee) and miss a whole day in Ethiopia. God had a purpose though, God used that time to prepare our hearts even more, and to bring us together before we even got out of our comfort zones. The time spent in that hotel began memories that I will cherish for a very long time, and it set a precedent for the rest of the trip. I realized that God was going to teach me a lot on that trip, I realized this because He started with a lesson in patience and faith when our flights got messed up. When we arrived in Ethiopia it was 1:00 am there, and we were exhausted. The ride from the airport to the compound I was completely mesmerized by everything around us, I didn't feel an ounce of exhaustion during those 25 minutes because I was so floored by the knowledge that I was in Africa. I had no idea what the next day would bring and I didn't care a bit, I was ready for anything.
I.wasn't.ready.
Monday was... hard. The work was good but difficult, and after only having about 6 hours of sleep, traveling for 2 days, and sleeping very little on the flights I was ready to collapse at the end of the day. We were building a house, and we got started that morning, working, learning, and doing everything that we could to push through until quitting time. I was ready for bed at 8:00 pm that first night, and I slept like a baby. Being away from my family and friends proved to be much more difficult than I expected it to be, I struggled greatly those first few days. However, that was part of God's plan. I learned how to PRAY... let me explain that. I have always prayed, I have always brought my troubles before God and asked him to fix them, but up to this point that was about all I ever did. When I think about it, and I am truly honest with myself and all of you, I realize that my prayer life was...well... pitiful. I used this analogy tonight at small group, and I said that a lot of times I treat God as a landlord. What I mean by that is that I call on Him only when things are broken, and expect Him to fix things with little help or effort put out by me. This really came to the forefront of my realizations in Africa. I noticed that I didn't pray the way that I should. It wasn't about the amount of time I spent praying, rather it was the way that I was praying. I needed to be in full conversation and fellowship with my creator while I was praying, and not once a day but throughout the day. So I started praying more on our trip. I prayed specifically for a few different things, I prayed for discernment, which He provided, and I prayed for the full Ethiopian experience, and that I would be broken.
Be.Careful.What.You.Pray.For.
I had no idea God would answer in the way that He did. Even the answer to my prayers for discernment was a bit of a shock, but it ended up being what was best for me, even if I disagreed originally. The other two prayers is really where I want to focus though. I prayed to be broken... and I was shattered in a million pieces. God not only broke me spiritually in providing great conversation, teaching me about my own prayer life and faith, but also emotionally in being away from and without communication with my family, and physically. Emotionally... I felt alone at first. I will honestly say I speak to my parents every day, even at school I would at least email/text one of them. I was used to talking to my sister, my favorite Old Tymer, and my best friends. Other than a few emails I had no way of communicating. God used this time to teach me about depending on Him for comfort rather than depending on others. At one point on Wednesday I was furious because I hadn't received an email from my family at all. God placed a peace on my heart that told me to not be angry, and I prayed for forgiveness, then I prayed that He would encourage me that day, to keep pushing forward despite my emotional break. An hour later I logged on to my gmail account for the first time and I had 6 emails from family and friends, talk about encouragement! I felt this sense of calm, I was ready to continue serving my God with the knowledge that people were praying for me at home. I felt on top of the world to be honest, and at 8000 ft. elevation, that's not hard to do! Then something else happened... remember how I said I was physically broken as well? That hit hard and hit fast. I woke up Monday morning, after a week in Ethiopia, feeling as though I was going to die. I was ready to write my will. Convinced that I had malaria, I found the strength to get up, I made it the 10 ft to the bathroom and got sick. It stayed that way until Wednesday afternoon. I didn't eat for 3 days and lost 15 pounds. I was miserable. Yet, I got what I asked for. God not only broke me yet again, but He made sure I got the whole Ethiopian experience. T.I.A. This is Africa. The Fehl's explained that being sick was just part of it, and that I prayed for it and God provided... next time I go out of the country I will be a little more cautious. However, the time spent in bed/bathroom allowed me to read, pray, and think about everything that life had thrown at me in the last few months. I was able to make some big decisions, realize some things, learn a few lessons, and enjoy a good book. I am so thankful for those three days that I was sick.
Here.I.Am.
So here I am, I'm back in the U.S. and completely changed by my trip. I learned a lot about myself, about how to live my life for God, and about the things that aren't necessities in life. I am now back in Columbus, IN. Living at home, reading, doing as many things with my church as possible, enjoying my family, hanging out with friends, getting back in shape, playing golf, and searching for a job of course. Now, this isn't the end of the updates on what happened in Ethiopia, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Stay tuned if you want to here the rest.
Grace and Peace.
5.03.2011
With the change in seasons comes a new season...
We recently transition from winter into... spring (also known as melty winter), and soon we will transition into Summer. Just as many of us will transition from one season of our lives to the next. For me this comes in the form of graduation. Weird. I was sitting here just now working (or attempting too) on some of my final exam/project work and realized that in just 24 hours my life as a college student comes to an end.
1 day. 24 hours. 1,440 minutes. 86,400 seconds.
What a mix of emotions this brings to my core. Earlier today I was on the phone with one of my oldest, and best friends Gabe. We were discussing life, the changes that are about to be made, the path that God is laying out before us, and the plans that He has yet to revealed. We talked about our excitement for the next stage of our lives. Gabe as received and accepted a job offer, and on June 11th he will be marrying the girl of his dreams, and the girl that I know God created just for him. I couldn't be more excited. As for me, all I know is that I am going to Africa, our paths are very different, but then again they always have been. Since we were little kids Gabe and I have been extremely different. Yet, for almost all of the last 18 or so years we have remained great friends. Just like many guys we have had our fair share of issues, but that conversation tonight just made me realize how much we have experienced together. Gabe and I's friendship has been a huge part of my college experience, granted we lived far away from each other, and sure we didn't see each other often, but we went through a lot together. Gabe was my support through a terrible breakup, through uncertainty and darkness in my walk with Christ, and a constant reminder that I can accomplish all things through Christ who strengthens me. We've been through so many things together, that I can't believe either one of us has survived this crazy journey... the point of this part of this post is to let Gabe know that I am proud of his accomplishments, I am blessed to have him as a brother, and I am greatly looking forward to what God has in store for both of us...
After that conversation came the thought that I described earlier, and with it came sadness and frustration. I don't know what life holds, I have no answers, and I have nothing figured out... except for this...
I know that God is my rock, my Savior, my deliverer and my redeemer. I know that because of my faith in God I will always know love and I will have infinite opportunities to experience grace. Does this mean that I'm not going to face trials and tribulations? Of course not! Can anyone guess what verse is coming next??? That's right, James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds. For the testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I am excited to struggle, to face trials, and to walk blindly into uncertainity. And yes, I am terrified. I am utterly scared. And I know that is okay, because I know that while I am uncertain, God has a plan for me. A plan so great that I can't even begin to wrap my head around what it entails...
I am so thankful for everything I have experienced in college. I have been angry about things, hurt, devastated, and immature... yet proud, accomplished, patient, and gracious in other situations. I look back on this college experience and realize that there are probably some things I would change... Some wrongs I would right, some fights I would allow myself to lose, some fights I would push harder to win, some people I would fight harder for, and some people I would probably allow to walk out of my life. Yet, when I think about changing those things, I am glad I can't. They have shaped me into exactly the person that I am, and for that I am thankful. I have struggled for years with self-image... yet sitting here tonight, I am confident in who I am, in how I look, in what God created me for. I know that there are lifestyle changes I am going to make upon graduation, and I know that they will improve my quality of life... I want to live in a new way for Christ. I want to provide a new outlet for God to use me to glorify Him. I want to be new, but not lose sight of the old...
I want to learn compassionate sacrifice (but that is a whole different post, look for it this week)
I want to thank my family especially. I want to thank you for enriching my life in whatever way you did. I want to thank my parents for instilling the values in me that made this possible, and of course for providing the financial, emotional, and spiritually support that I needed to accomplish my dreams of graduating college. I want to thank my grandparents.. on both sides. Nonny and Poppy you have provided memories, financial support, constant love, and many wise and insightful conversations that have helped me to become who I am. Grandma and Grandpa, even though you weren't here to see this. I can always feel your presence, and I know that there are times when you are smiling down upon me, and times where I have let you down. Knowing that you are watching from above has helped me to stay on the path that God laid before me, because you have always taught me that faith and family come first and foremost. To my sister: You are an inspiration, and during your hard time I worry not... because I know that you are an amazing person and you have such a gift for what you do. I love you, and I am proud that my older sister has accomplished what you have accomplished...
I can't thank everyone... there is absolutely no way. I will lay out this blanket statement for all of you though, I want to thank everyone for.. the late nights, the early mornings, the all night study sessions, the baseball games, the basketball games, the classes that we shared, the classes that we skipped, the love and the heartbreak, the hugs and the punches, the trivia nights, and the movie marathons, the cold beers, and the warm coffee... thank you for everything you have shared with me to make this experience so wonderful.
So to college I say goodbye, and to life I say bring it on. My God and I will take everything you throw at me in stride, and I know that I can accomplish anything, I just have no idea what any of that will be...
Grace and Peace
4.26.2011
Supporting the Call....
Friends and Family,
This isn't going to be my usual blog post, nor is it a typical support letter. In today's media-crazed age I thought that writing a note this way might yield some bigger results. As some of you may or may not know I am going on a mission trip shortly after I graduate this May. It has been a passion of mine for quite some time to work in missions, and last summer I was given that opportunity for the first time. I spent 8 days in Jamaica with a bunch of middle school kids, helping with some last minute construction and a Vacation Bible School. It not only changed my life but also created a new desire in my heart to continue serving across the globe. This May I will be going to Ethiopia to serve for two weeks! I am so blessed to have this opportunity and I truly feel a call to step out of my comfort zone and do something big for the Kingdom. I have been passionate about Ethiopia and Africa for quite some time, so when the opportunity presented itself I couldn't ignore it. In the words of my dear friend Anna I can literally feel African drums beating in my heart. I have no idea what God has in store for me there, but I do know that I will be broken, uplifted, shaped, moved, awestruck, and mesmerized by the Creator for the entire two weeks that I am there.
I am taking this trip with Southland Christian Church here in Lexington. It will be myself (the youngest) and 3 other men. We will be spending the entire two weeks helping to build a home for a family of missionaries, working right alongside Ethiopian men and women, getting to know them, getting to know each other, and getting to know ourselves. I can't tell you how excited I am for this trip! So excited that I couldn't wait to share it with all of you! I am striving to live my life much more like Abraham, in the sense that when Christ says Go! I go without question. Every morning since I made the decision to go on this trip, I wake up with the lyrics from a popular praise song resonating through my heart/soul/mind: "Where you go I'll go, where you stay I'll stay, Where you move, I'll move... I will follow YOU!" I have prayed and prayed for guidance and wisdom and answered prayers for as long as I can remember. God has finally made me realize that I just need to listen, I just need to listen to what He is asking and answer the Call. SO that is what this trip is all about...
What I am asking from you is your support. Prayer is such a powerful tool and I have seen it work in amazing ways. I am asking all of you to pray for me, pray for our team and pray for the people of Ethiopia. I am praying for strength, good health, amazing acts of God, to be completely broken, to be completely made whole, to find answers to the questions I have, and to be changed into more of the man that God wants me to be. I ask that you pray all of these things with me. It's going to be a long two weeks, and it will be hard physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, but I know that I need it, I know that God is going to provide such amazing moments that it will be a life-changing trip just like Jamaica was, but in a completely different way. Here's the part I'm not good at... the money part. I don't like asking for money, and I know God will provide the money so I'm not going to specifically ask anyone to send support. I will give you an idea what it's going to take for me to go though. I have to raise $2900 in order to be able to go. That includes, food, airfare, and shots. Next Monday I am going to be getting a LOT of shots, anywhere from $350 to $500 dollars worth. I have to get everything, Typhoid, Yellowfever, Malaria, Hep A & B, Tetanus, the whole nine yards. The rest of the money I have to turn in by the day we leave, which is May 13th. I realize that this is very soon, and I apologize for the late notice. Deciding to take a mission trip immediately after graduating from college was definitely a challenge. It has left me very little time to fully commit to raising support because of my schoolwork. If you feel led to help financially, send me a message or send your support to the address listed below. You can also donate by clicking the Donate! button on my blog, through paypal. I am hoping to send out a physical letter, but this is the best way to reach the masses. What I really want you to do is pray for me, that is the number one thing I need. Thank you all for you love and support, I will continue to post notes and blogs leading up to the trip, during, and after I get back to let you all know what amazing things God does while we are in Ethiopia.
Grace and Peace,
Brad
Brad Robertson
1200 Unity Drive
Lexington, KY 40504
3.29.2011
Community/Blessing/Faith/Provision
Community has been a reoccurring theme in my life lately. It started about 3 weeks ago. As many of you that read this (or at least skim) know I am moving to Nashville as soon as I can. Even though I know it's what I want, I have been very up and down about whether or not it's what God wants. I have struggled greatly with this decision, and while in Nashville, God presented a new opportunity. A new community. A new church.
There is a church plant in Nashville that two of my best friends attend. You've heard a lot about these friends, seeing as they are the ones adopting from Ethiopia (more on that later). I was leery about a church plant... new church, fewer people, currently no youth program. All things that I'm not used to. When I moved to Lexington, I joined Southland, partly because it was huge, and partly because i knew the size would create immense opportunities. So the whole way to this new church plant on Sunday morning I sat in the back of Mike's car and prayed... Mike was completely unaware of this prayer, and if he wasn't, I was unaware that he was aware :) . Anyway, I prayed that my heart would be opened to an opportunity, to the people, to the fact that God was going to teach me something in a situation in which I was not comfortable at all. What God showed me that Sunday morning was astonishing. Here I am, with only two people I know (and one guy who I am friends with on Twitter @jasonegly) in the middle of a small warehouse, on fold-out metal chairs, placed in an oval, with a coffee table in the middle. Now, as a pre-cursor, I was informed that this service would be different than most, that we would be sharing the Lord's Supper... again, a new experience. This completely blew my mind though. Short version** Jason and Justin talked about the fact that communion is about spending intimate, communal time with God, but too often we forget that communion is a time of community with those around us, with other Christians. He made it clear that not only is it a time to spend with our God, but also a time to spend with our Brothers and Sisters, being vulnerable and clearing the air. Wow. Completely different perspective than the typical .037364 oz. of grape juice and wafer, a little quiet time and then church is over. We spent the whole service with the blood and the body in our hands, looking at each other, listening to the message and then sharing our thoughts about anything and everything. It was unreal.
Then it dawned on me... my worries about Nashville weren't about whether I could move there, it was about whether or not I could embrace the community and understand what that would mean for my move. Christ offers us a community anywhere He leads us, it's part of the journey. I was so worried that I would fail by going to Nashville, and then realized that my worries about failure came from the fact that I didn't think I could find a community. I grew up in small town USA, a place where community is everything. I have always been a member of some sort of community and it has always been a constant and comforting part of my life. Moving to Nashville invoked fear that finding a community wouldn't be as easy this time. I prayed earnestly about this all the way to that service, and God provided in such a big way! God provided this amazing community of people that I have just begun to connect with (other than Mike and Amy, and the 4 other people I knew in that area). This has just been so overwhelming, which is why it took me so long to write this.
Then I came back to Lexington, and I started talking to a friend at middle school ministry. We usually talk about our passion for missions and our weeks and so on and so forth. We had previously joked about her moving to Nashville with one of her friends around the same time I was moving there. A couple weeks ago we were talking and out of the blue this friend got wickedly excited and told me if everything goes according to plan she's moving to Nashville at the end of the summer/early fall. God provides. I just kept thanking God for reinforcing this idea of community. I realized He was providing opportunities to help reaffirm my decision. That was one more person I would have an established friendship with in Nashville. I was blown away by this, and of course, God through one more at me. One of the greatest people I have met at school is a guy named Miles. Miles has a passion and heart for Christ like no one I've ever met. We struggle with very similar things, and He has taught me so many things about myself and about being a young Christian man. We got to talking about my trip to Nashville and my desire to move there. Wouldn't ya know it? God had presented an opportunity for Miles to be in Nashville twice a month starting at the end of April I believe. How impossible is that?? God provides absolutely everything we need to vanquish our fears. This has just had my head spinning...
I have been so blessed in community my whole life, and God just continues to bless me with it because he knows that it is helping me move forward in my walk. If all of that wasn't enough, today I found out that a classmate is moving there for TFA and one of my oldest friends from home has been offered a job at APSU... Community. Trust. Faith. Blessing...
God has provided so much for me in the last three weeks I am just in absolute awe. I needed this reassurance and I had prayed for it. God provides...
"So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe, of the one who gave it all. I'll stand, my soul, Lord to you surrendered, all I have is yours"
Grace and Peace
There is a church plant in Nashville that two of my best friends attend. You've heard a lot about these friends, seeing as they are the ones adopting from Ethiopia (more on that later). I was leery about a church plant... new church, fewer people, currently no youth program. All things that I'm not used to. When I moved to Lexington, I joined Southland, partly because it was huge, and partly because i knew the size would create immense opportunities. So the whole way to this new church plant on Sunday morning I sat in the back of Mike's car and prayed... Mike was completely unaware of this prayer, and if he wasn't, I was unaware that he was aware :) . Anyway, I prayed that my heart would be opened to an opportunity, to the people, to the fact that God was going to teach me something in a situation in which I was not comfortable at all. What God showed me that Sunday morning was astonishing. Here I am, with only two people I know (and one guy who I am friends with on Twitter @jasonegly) in the middle of a small warehouse, on fold-out metal chairs, placed in an oval, with a coffee table in the middle. Now, as a pre-cursor, I was informed that this service would be different than most, that we would be sharing the Lord's Supper... again, a new experience. This completely blew my mind though. Short version** Jason and Justin talked about the fact that communion is about spending intimate, communal time with God, but too often we forget that communion is a time of community with those around us, with other Christians. He made it clear that not only is it a time to spend with our God, but also a time to spend with our Brothers and Sisters, being vulnerable and clearing the air. Wow. Completely different perspective than the typical .037364 oz. of grape juice and wafer, a little quiet time and then church is over. We spent the whole service with the blood and the body in our hands, looking at each other, listening to the message and then sharing our thoughts about anything and everything. It was unreal.
Then it dawned on me... my worries about Nashville weren't about whether I could move there, it was about whether or not I could embrace the community and understand what that would mean for my move. Christ offers us a community anywhere He leads us, it's part of the journey. I was so worried that I would fail by going to Nashville, and then realized that my worries about failure came from the fact that I didn't think I could find a community. I grew up in small town USA, a place where community is everything. I have always been a member of some sort of community and it has always been a constant and comforting part of my life. Moving to Nashville invoked fear that finding a community wouldn't be as easy this time. I prayed earnestly about this all the way to that service, and God provided in such a big way! God provided this amazing community of people that I have just begun to connect with (other than Mike and Amy, and the 4 other people I knew in that area). This has just been so overwhelming, which is why it took me so long to write this.
Then I came back to Lexington, and I started talking to a friend at middle school ministry. We usually talk about our passion for missions and our weeks and so on and so forth. We had previously joked about her moving to Nashville with one of her friends around the same time I was moving there. A couple weeks ago we were talking and out of the blue this friend got wickedly excited and told me if everything goes according to plan she's moving to Nashville at the end of the summer/early fall. God provides. I just kept thanking God for reinforcing this idea of community. I realized He was providing opportunities to help reaffirm my decision. That was one more person I would have an established friendship with in Nashville. I was blown away by this, and of course, God through one more at me. One of the greatest people I have met at school is a guy named Miles. Miles has a passion and heart for Christ like no one I've ever met. We struggle with very similar things, and He has taught me so many things about myself and about being a young Christian man. We got to talking about my trip to Nashville and my desire to move there. Wouldn't ya know it? God had presented an opportunity for Miles to be in Nashville twice a month starting at the end of April I believe. How impossible is that?? God provides absolutely everything we need to vanquish our fears. This has just had my head spinning...
I have been so blessed in community my whole life, and God just continues to bless me with it because he knows that it is helping me move forward in my walk. If all of that wasn't enough, today I found out that a classmate is moving there for TFA and one of my oldest friends from home has been offered a job at APSU... Community. Trust. Faith. Blessing...
God has provided so much for me in the last three weeks I am just in absolute awe. I needed this reassurance and I had prayed for it. God provides...
"So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe, of the one who gave it all. I'll stand, my soul, Lord to you surrendered, all I have is yours"
Grace and Peace
3.10.2011
Perfect Fear...
I've been struggling the last week and a half or so, more than usual. However I'm not struggling with the usual things, which is bittersweet. I'm struggling with fear. Fear that I'm not going to achieve my best, that what I want to accomplish will either not come full circle, or that it won't be perfect. I, just like any other graduate, want to find the perfect job, in the perfect city, near the perfect Church, with the perfect group of friends, so that I can define myself as successful after college graduation. This whole notion of "perfection" is new to me, normally I'm pretty okay with being above average, to the point that I’m complacent. In fact, my obsession with perfection and it being the defining characteristic of my success is quite the opposite of how I have lived my life thus far. I am successfully going to graduate college, I have had a successful college career, yet for the most part... my grades have been just above average. While I always strive to do better, often times not sticking with the "study plan" I lay out for myself, I have always been overall happy with my performance in classes. Could I have done better? I'm sure I could have, but I know that I did well and I realize that the things I have learned outside of the classroom have made up for the things I didn't learn inside, mainly because of this blog and twitter/facebook/texting. All of these thoughts have been cultivated in the depths of my soul without me realizing it. It took a blog post by a guy I read daily (well... almost..) to really draw them out and make them apparent to me.
Perfectionism isn't necessary. To quote the author of the blog Stuff Christians Like "90% perfect and published always changes more lives than 100% perfect and stuck in your head."- Jon Acuff.. this sums up everything I'm saying, well, perfectly. It doesn't just relate to my writing this blog, although I do shy away from writing a lot of things for reasons even I don't understand. I took it to mean that dreaming about a perfect life is fine. Acting on your dreams to change the world, write a book, or travel international is the only way you can impact people. Acting on it may not yield the exact results you dreamt of, but it’s better than doing nothing. It led me to realize that I don't need to have everything be perfect. I want to experience life, I want something new when I graduate, I want to reach others, show Jesus' love and compassion daily, and make just enough money to pay the bills, tithe, and visit friends and family. So why am I so concerned with finding the perfect job? I already know what city I want to go to, so what's stopping me?? I know that that city contains AMAZING friends, and extended family. In fact, that city is where my favorite blogger @jonacuff currently resides. I'm tired of being fearful of making a mistake, or that what I want to share will fall short of glory. Instead of trying to perfect everything without taking any chances, I'm taking a chance. I made a decision. It may only be 90% perfect, but it will be out there, it will be real, in a sense it will be published.
I'm moving after I graduate. I have spoken of this many times, and few people know how confident I am in this decision but here it is. I am moving to Nashville, TN. I have two job interviews there on Monday. I'm spending the weekend with some amazing people and doing some apartment hunting. I have felt this pull on my heart for the last year to move to Nashville ever since I met Mike and Amy. I love the area, and I love the opportunity. Is it going to be perfect? Not. At. All. In fact I'm probably going to struggle at first, being in a new city with about 8 friends to start with. I don't know what job I will have, but I know it will be one in which God can use me. I know that it won't be perfect, I won't be perfect, but God's plan for me is perfect. I can dream as much as I want, but if I don't act it will impact no one. However, if I act and say... 90% of those dreams become reality, or culminate into what I had hoped they would, I could impact the world. I want to be a life changer, I want to wake up every morning hit my knees and know that God will prepare my heart for the day. So after I return from Ethiopia, I'm leaving. The only thing that will stop me is if God gives me a definitive answer to go somewhere else. I just want to follow my heart and God’s plan, which I am fully aware don’t always match up. In that instance I will follow God’s plan, but just like with my dreams, if I don’t take action… I have no impact. I don’t know if this all makes sense, and I’m not sure that anyone will read it. But I know that based on what Jon Acuff wrote, the only way to know is to hit publish at the bottom of this blog. This post isn’t perfect, it may not even be 90%, but that’s okay. Maybe someone will read it and realize they feel the same way. Maybe someone will strike up a conversation with me about it, and we can move forward into uncertainty as brothers/sisters in Christ. Maybe… just Maybe, my fear of perfect was a perfect fear. It’s what led me to realize that I don’t need perfection, I just need to take action.
Grace and Peace
Perfectionism isn't necessary. To quote the author of the blog Stuff Christians Like "90% perfect and published always changes more lives than 100% perfect and stuck in your head."- Jon Acuff.. this sums up everything I'm saying, well, perfectly. It doesn't just relate to my writing this blog, although I do shy away from writing a lot of things for reasons even I don't understand. I took it to mean that dreaming about a perfect life is fine. Acting on your dreams to change the world, write a book, or travel international is the only way you can impact people. Acting on it may not yield the exact results you dreamt of, but it’s better than doing nothing. It led me to realize that I don't need to have everything be perfect. I want to experience life, I want something new when I graduate, I want to reach others, show Jesus' love and compassion daily, and make just enough money to pay the bills, tithe, and visit friends and family. So why am I so concerned with finding the perfect job? I already know what city I want to go to, so what's stopping me?? I know that that city contains AMAZING friends, and extended family. In fact, that city is where my favorite blogger @jonacuff currently resides. I'm tired of being fearful of making a mistake, or that what I want to share will fall short of glory. Instead of trying to perfect everything without taking any chances, I'm taking a chance. I made a decision. It may only be 90% perfect, but it will be out there, it will be real, in a sense it will be published.
I'm moving after I graduate. I have spoken of this many times, and few people know how confident I am in this decision but here it is. I am moving to Nashville, TN. I have two job interviews there on Monday. I'm spending the weekend with some amazing people and doing some apartment hunting. I have felt this pull on my heart for the last year to move to Nashville ever since I met Mike and Amy. I love the area, and I love the opportunity. Is it going to be perfect? Not. At. All. In fact I'm probably going to struggle at first, being in a new city with about 8 friends to start with. I don't know what job I will have, but I know it will be one in which God can use me. I know that it won't be perfect, I won't be perfect, but God's plan for me is perfect. I can dream as much as I want, but if I don't act it will impact no one. However, if I act and say... 90% of those dreams become reality, or culminate into what I had hoped they would, I could impact the world. I want to be a life changer, I want to wake up every morning hit my knees and know that God will prepare my heart for the day. So after I return from Ethiopia, I'm leaving. The only thing that will stop me is if God gives me a definitive answer to go somewhere else. I just want to follow my heart and God’s plan, which I am fully aware don’t always match up. In that instance I will follow God’s plan, but just like with my dreams, if I don’t take action… I have no impact. I don’t know if this all makes sense, and I’m not sure that anyone will read it. But I know that based on what Jon Acuff wrote, the only way to know is to hit publish at the bottom of this blog. This post isn’t perfect, it may not even be 90%, but that’s okay. Maybe someone will read it and realize they feel the same way. Maybe someone will strike up a conversation with me about it, and we can move forward into uncertainty as brothers/sisters in Christ. Maybe… just Maybe, my fear of perfect was a perfect fear. It’s what led me to realize that I don’t need perfection, I just need to take action.
Grace and Peace
2.21.2011
Dreaming of a prepared heart
I fight every day. I feel like I'm in a constant battle right now which has me hoping I'm doing something right, and that's why the Enemy is attacking me. I think it revolves around Ethiopia. The biggest question I get is why are you going?? In my previous post I said I didn't know why and that I thought it was so I could be broken. Then God came in the form of conversations, the form of late nights and in the form of dreams. The conversation started it all. I have two friends in Nashville that are dear to my heart. They are in fact, two of the biggest reasons why after I return from Ethiopia I'm moving to Nashville (that's my plan at least, but always remember Proverbs 19:21). I remember a conversation we had back in August, about their adoption. Here's a pop quiz readers... Where are my friends Amy and Mike adopting from???.......... If you guessed Ethiopia you win a... well... you get the joy of knowing that you were right, and if you weren't God knows you are lying (JESUS JUKE!) Over the weekend I spoke extensively with Amy about this trip... my thoughts about the fact that they were adopting from Ethiopia were what if I met someone that would know Eli's family in Ethiopia. She presented a whole new idea. The orphanage they are adopting through is in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia which is where I am going. What if I can find the exact orphanage? Eli will be anywhere from Newborn to 2 years old when he is brought home to the States... what if he is already born, what if I can hold him? What if I have a picture of him as a baby? I began to weep after hanging up the phone. I cried out to God and thanked Him for this opportunity, I thanked Him for even presenting the idea because it hit me. It's not just about me, it's about my friends and family here that are praying and will be anxiously awaiting the stories that I will undoubtedly bring home. This led to a dream...
I am already passionate about Eli and his future. And I know that if I love Eli this much, his future parents have to be just pouring with love for him. I had a dream that Eli was born this week, and I met him in Ethiopia, I held him, hushed his crying, and prayed over him while he rocked in my arms. I came home with thousands of pictures of our work there, including a picture of Eli and I... little did I know he was soon to be my "nephew", because I already call myself Uncle Brad. What did this dream mean to me?? It meant that this trip is bigger than anything I could ever have dreamed it would be, and that it's even bigger than it is now. As I thought about Eli, I thought about the other kids in those orphanages. I began to understand the purpose of our group going. I previously told you I would be helping build staff housing for CMF. CMF brings all kinds of missionaries into Ethiopia, and those missionaries will be staying in this housing that I am being given an opportunity to build, those missionaries are people that may touch the lives of Eli and many other children, and adults. Again God showed me that this trip is bigger than me. Again I weep. I am overcome with joy... joy in the fact that God is granting me the privilege of taking this trip. It's not my right to go, it's a gift from Him and it's one that will keep giving every day leading up to it and every day following it. I realized one other thing, I have to be prepared for anything, and I already am because I am trusting in God to prepare me.
Grace and Peace
I am already passionate about Eli and his future. And I know that if I love Eli this much, his future parents have to be just pouring with love for him. I had a dream that Eli was born this week, and I met him in Ethiopia, I held him, hushed his crying, and prayed over him while he rocked in my arms. I came home with thousands of pictures of our work there, including a picture of Eli and I... little did I know he was soon to be my "nephew", because I already call myself Uncle Brad. What did this dream mean to me?? It meant that this trip is bigger than anything I could ever have dreamed it would be, and that it's even bigger than it is now. As I thought about Eli, I thought about the other kids in those orphanages. I began to understand the purpose of our group going. I previously told you I would be helping build staff housing for CMF. CMF brings all kinds of missionaries into Ethiopia, and those missionaries will be staying in this housing that I am being given an opportunity to build, those missionaries are people that may touch the lives of Eli and many other children, and adults. Again God showed me that this trip is bigger than me. Again I weep. I am overcome with joy... joy in the fact that God is granting me the privilege of taking this trip. It's not my right to go, it's a gift from Him and it's one that will keep giving every day leading up to it and every day following it. I realized one other thing, I have to be prepared for anything, and I already am because I am trusting in God to prepare me.
Grace and Peace
2.18.2011
The President may want Secret Service, but God wants it to be loud and obvious.
Galatians 5:13 -->> "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."
I stumbled across that verse the other night because I typed in the word "serve" to a bible app on my phone. That word --serve-- has been pounding in my heart. I have felt moved to begin serving in a new way, I felt that movement during a conversation with a great friend Last Thursday before I left on retreat. Little did I know He used that conversation, that friend, that woman sitting behind us eavesdropping to start working and preparing my heart for a huge decision. I love what it says in Galatians 5:13. "We were called to be free"... May approaches fast, and I'm graduating. That's a whole new kind of freedom, one that I was called to, one that was planned by God, and one that quite frankly terrifies me.
For a week now I have been praying about a trip. To be honest, I've been praying about this since I got back from Jamaica. I had no idea what it meant, or where it would be and to be honest I wasn't sure it would ever happen. During that conversation last week, I was discussing The World Race, 11 countries in 11 months, my heart was pounding. I have yearned to make that trip for over a year, but again, that wasn't God's plan for me. I have been so focused on a job that I haven't thought about any other options after graduating. Until I read that verse above, the part about "do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh". I had given strong consideration to doing one of two things in May after graduation... either sitting around for the first few weeks and enjoying being done, looking for a job, but spending time doing whatever else I wanted. Or taking a trip to celebrate, maybe to California or South Carolina. Again... God was working. I read that verse and the application it had for me was that either of those options was me indulging the flesh, that I needed to use my freedom to serve God, not myself. It was then, at 2 am, that I made a HUGE decision for my life...
I'm going to Ethiopia.
I graduate on May 8th... on May 13th I fly to Ethiopia for a 2 week mission trip with Southland to build housing for the CMF staff. However that isn't why I'm going. I'm going because God needs to work on my heart, He needs to show me something and I have no idea what that is. I am preparing my heart as best I can, I am praying about being prepared for this trip. Colossians 3:23-24 says: " Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ." I know that I must go to Ethiopia willingly because I will be serving Christ. I need to use my time to further His Kingdom, and to reach out to others. In Jamaica I was broken and in Ethiopia I pray that I am broken as well. I hope that this is God's way of preparing my heart for whatever job I begin upon my return from Africa. So I will go, and I will listen and I will pray...
Pray for me. Pray for this trip. Pray for Ethiopia. Pray that God protects and provides. I am terrified, excited, moved, and faithful. I am ready to see what God can do in my heart on this trip. Keep your eyes peeled on this blog for more updates as God works in my heart and provides some insight. At this point this is all I have, the only thing I know is that I'm going. I don't know why exactly, I don't know what it means, I don't know what will happen. But I know I am going.
Grace and Peace
I stumbled across that verse the other night because I typed in the word "serve" to a bible app on my phone. That word --serve-- has been pounding in my heart. I have felt moved to begin serving in a new way, I felt that movement during a conversation with a great friend Last Thursday before I left on retreat. Little did I know He used that conversation, that friend, that woman sitting behind us eavesdropping to start working and preparing my heart for a huge decision. I love what it says in Galatians 5:13. "We were called to be free"... May approaches fast, and I'm graduating. That's a whole new kind of freedom, one that I was called to, one that was planned by God, and one that quite frankly terrifies me.
For a week now I have been praying about a trip. To be honest, I've been praying about this since I got back from Jamaica. I had no idea what it meant, or where it would be and to be honest I wasn't sure it would ever happen. During that conversation last week, I was discussing The World Race, 11 countries in 11 months, my heart was pounding. I have yearned to make that trip for over a year, but again, that wasn't God's plan for me. I have been so focused on a job that I haven't thought about any other options after graduating. Until I read that verse above, the part about "do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh". I had given strong consideration to doing one of two things in May after graduation... either sitting around for the first few weeks and enjoying being done, looking for a job, but spending time doing whatever else I wanted. Or taking a trip to celebrate, maybe to California or South Carolina. Again... God was working. I read that verse and the application it had for me was that either of those options was me indulging the flesh, that I needed to use my freedom to serve God, not myself. It was then, at 2 am, that I made a HUGE decision for my life...
I'm going to Ethiopia.
I graduate on May 8th... on May 13th I fly to Ethiopia for a 2 week mission trip with Southland to build housing for the CMF staff. However that isn't why I'm going. I'm going because God needs to work on my heart, He needs to show me something and I have no idea what that is. I am preparing my heart as best I can, I am praying about being prepared for this trip. Colossians 3:23-24 says: " Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ." I know that I must go to Ethiopia willingly because I will be serving Christ. I need to use my time to further His Kingdom, and to reach out to others. In Jamaica I was broken and in Ethiopia I pray that I am broken as well. I hope that this is God's way of preparing my heart for whatever job I begin upon my return from Africa. So I will go, and I will listen and I will pray...
Pray for me. Pray for this trip. Pray for Ethiopia. Pray that God protects and provides. I am terrified, excited, moved, and faithful. I am ready to see what God can do in my heart on this trip. Keep your eyes peeled on this blog for more updates as God works in my heart and provides some insight. At this point this is all I have, the only thing I know is that I'm going. I don't know why exactly, I don't know what it means, I don't know what will happen. But I know I am going.
Grace and Peace
2.01.2011
Give 110%... the whole time, every time.
Growing up as a kid I was always playing sports. I played soccer, baseball, basketball almost year around. I wasn't one of those kids that was forced to play, rather I was one that chose to play. I loved the idea of teamwork, the competition, the rush of a win.. and yes the pain of a loss. I learned valuable life lessons, many of them cliche such as: It isn't so much whether you win or lose but how you play the game. Trusting your coach and your teammates is the most important part. You can't win, nor can you really play, all by yourself, it takes the whole team and lastly... Give 110% effort the whole time every time. These cliche sayings themselves aren't the Life Lessons, the life lessons are how these cliche sayings relate to my relationship with Christ.
Lesson.Number.One.
"It's not whether you win or lose, but it's about how you play the game"... Life is a game, one that was created in 1860 by Milton Bradley and has been adapted for computer and video games.... Ok sorry, I couldn't resist. Seriously though, life is about ups and downs, wins and losses, pain and heartache. Many people might disagree with me and say "Life isn't a competition.. blah blah blah" (again kidding, no disrespect).. However there are wins, and there are losses. They come in the form of temptation, struggle, sin and battling the Enemy. Occasionally we ourselves lose to our temptations, sins and the Enemy. I lose on a daily basis. I have sins that plague me, things that I have prayed about but yet not earnestly enough I fear. I lose, but I also win. I win a lot of battles over the Enemy. However it isn't about whether I win or lose, God knows I'm going to fall... we will forever fall short of God and yet He still loves us. He loves us because He created us, and He knows our hearts. I know that when I fight earnestly or I seek guidance that I am playing the game the way God designed it. Will I always win??? Probably not, but as long as I am fighting for the Kingdom, God is there with me... which leads to the next lesson.
Lesson.Number.Two.
"Trusting your Coach and your teammates is essential to a win"... I'm sure you can see where this one is going, so the explanation will be short. God is our Coach and our brothers and sisters in Him are our teammates. We have to trust in God to provide the best game plan, to have all the right plays, and to be ready for anything. As Hebrews 13:5 says "...God said, I will never leave you, I will never forsake you". God is there, and we have to trust that He will show us what is next, Isaiah 26:4 "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock Eternal". Just as with our teammates, we have to trust them to pass of the ball (the word of God), help defend (us from the Enemy), and help read plays and encourage us to push forward, to continue to fight! We have to trust that our brothers and sisters in Christ will help us along our walk, that they will support us, encourage us and defend us. Without them, we can't....
Lesson.Number.Three.
"There is no I in Team..." We can't win by ourselves, we need God to provide us with the proper guidance and tools to beat the Enemy. In fact, He is the only one that can beat the Enemy alone. God is our provider, our protector, our strength. Exodus 14:14 "Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got" Love God with 110% of you. Give your life to follow Him, dedicate everything you do to Him, In everything you do, do it for the glory of the Kingdom.
Give 110% of yourself. God gave His only son for you... what are you willing to do for Him?
Grace and Peace.
Lesson.Number.One.
"It's not whether you win or lose, but it's about how you play the game"... Life is a game, one that was created in 1860 by Milton Bradley and has been adapted for computer and video games.... Ok sorry, I couldn't resist. Seriously though, life is about ups and downs, wins and losses, pain and heartache. Many people might disagree with me and say "Life isn't a competition.. blah blah blah" (again kidding, no disrespect).. However there are wins, and there are losses. They come in the form of temptation, struggle, sin and battling the Enemy. Occasionally we ourselves lose to our temptations, sins and the Enemy. I lose on a daily basis. I have sins that plague me, things that I have prayed about but yet not earnestly enough I fear. I lose, but I also win. I win a lot of battles over the Enemy. However it isn't about whether I win or lose, God knows I'm going to fall... we will forever fall short of God and yet He still loves us. He loves us because He created us, and He knows our hearts. I know that when I fight earnestly or I seek guidance that I am playing the game the way God designed it. Will I always win??? Probably not, but as long as I am fighting for the Kingdom, God is there with me... which leads to the next lesson.
Lesson.Number.Two.
"Trusting your Coach and your teammates is essential to a win"... I'm sure you can see where this one is going, so the explanation will be short. God is our Coach and our brothers and sisters in Him are our teammates. We have to trust in God to provide the best game plan, to have all the right plays, and to be ready for anything. As Hebrews 13:5 says "...God said, I will never leave you, I will never forsake you". God is there, and we have to trust that He will show us what is next, Isaiah 26:4 "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock Eternal". Just as with our teammates, we have to trust them to pass of the ball (the word of God), help defend (us from the Enemy), and help read plays and encourage us to push forward, to continue to fight! We have to trust that our brothers and sisters in Christ will help us along our walk, that they will support us, encourage us and defend us. Without them, we can't....
Lesson.Number.Three.
"There is no I in Team..." We can't win by ourselves, we need God to provide us with the proper guidance and tools to beat the Enemy. In fact, He is the only one that can beat the Enemy alone. God is our provider, our protector, our strength. Exodus 14:14 "Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got" Love God with 110% of you. Give your life to follow Him, dedicate everything you do to Him, In everything you do, do it for the glory of the Kingdom.
Give 110% of yourself. God gave His only son for you... what are you willing to do for Him?
Grace and Peace.
1.26.2011
Jesus and Swan Lake....
Tonight I saw Black Swan, featuring Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis... and I have to say I'm blown away. It was an amazing film, with some unnecessary language and sexual scenes, but it wasn't as bad as many other movies I've seen, it was artistic. Now some of my readers may be concerned with the title of the blog. As always, bear with me and we will bring everything together at the end.
Black Swan is a new movie, therefore I won't fully explain the plot, but I will say it is a new spin on the original Swan Lake ballet. First and foremost for my fellow MEN, don't refuse to see this, believe me, I wasn't sure it would appeal to me either, but it is awesome, it gave me chills and knots in my stomach. It is intense and it's not something that fits our typical idea of a ballet. The thing I liked about it the most? I was confused the entire time. I know, I know, most people come out of a movie saying "That was so awesome, I totally followed that" but not me, this movie I was intrigued and every time it took me a moment to fully comprehend what was occurring, I shrugged it off and waited to see what would come next. I had faith that the Director would make everything come together, that everything would make sense. He would answer all of my questions before it was over, and even though I was confused I had to trust Him and wait for the next scene.
What.About.Life.
Here's where it relates to our relationship with Christ. How many times have we gone through a breakup, a death, a failure, a mistake, a disappointment, a setback and focused solely on that issue. We do it all the time, we are angered by God. The confusion as to why we are hurting is too much for us to handle, we focus on that moment, that event, that let down and think to ourselves to figure out the answer. Why do we do this, because many of us are programmed to blame God for those things and think that it's up to us to figure them out. What if we had the same faith in Christ that we have in the Director of a movie. God is the Director of our lives, so why don't we trust Him every time? During this movie I got a text from someone I care deeply for, someone brought into my life by the GRACE of God, someone who has always inspired me to think outside the box...
Ephesians 1:11 >> "It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone."
WHOA WHOA WHOA! Did you just read that... Christ holds the answer to who we are, why we are here... the overall purpose He is working out. GOD is the Director. It's right there, it tells us that He wrote the screenplay to our lives, long before we even knew He was the director. So here it is. When we are hurt and confused and scared, instead of stopping dead in our tracks and asking why? Why did this happen? Why did we break up? Why me? Why aren't you here? What if we looked at it like a movie? What if we just put our confusion, hurt, anger, and fear to the side and waited for our Director to reveal what comes next, allow Christ to show us the next scene AND bring everything together at the end, so that it all makes sense. I know not everything will always make sense, but it will all work out. God's overall purpose is working out in everything and everyone. So why don't we trust that?
I challenge you, and myself. Go see Black Swan, or watch a movie that will confuse you, and pay attention to the way you react to that confusion... you may say- WHAT?!?!?! but I bet you'll wait for the next scene, you will have faith that the Director is going to pull it all together, and bring it full circle. Then do that with your own life... allow God to show you what's next after every hard time, and allow Him to bring it full circle. Embrace life. Embrace God. Embrace His direction. and Enjoy the Show.
Grace and Peace
B
Black Swan is a new movie, therefore I won't fully explain the plot, but I will say it is a new spin on the original Swan Lake ballet. First and foremost for my fellow MEN, don't refuse to see this, believe me, I wasn't sure it would appeal to me either, but it is awesome, it gave me chills and knots in my stomach. It is intense and it's not something that fits our typical idea of a ballet. The thing I liked about it the most? I was confused the entire time. I know, I know, most people come out of a movie saying "That was so awesome, I totally followed that" but not me, this movie I was intrigued and every time it took me a moment to fully comprehend what was occurring, I shrugged it off and waited to see what would come next. I had faith that the Director would make everything come together, that everything would make sense. He would answer all of my questions before it was over, and even though I was confused I had to trust Him and wait for the next scene.
What.About.Life.
Here's where it relates to our relationship with Christ. How many times have we gone through a breakup, a death, a failure, a mistake, a disappointment, a setback and focused solely on that issue. We do it all the time, we are angered by God. The confusion as to why we are hurting is too much for us to handle, we focus on that moment, that event, that let down and think to ourselves to figure out the answer. Why do we do this, because many of us are programmed to blame God for those things and think that it's up to us to figure them out. What if we had the same faith in Christ that we have in the Director of a movie. God is the Director of our lives, so why don't we trust Him every time? During this movie I got a text from someone I care deeply for, someone brought into my life by the GRACE of God, someone who has always inspired me to think outside the box...
Ephesians 1:11 >> "It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone."
WHOA WHOA WHOA! Did you just read that... Christ holds the answer to who we are, why we are here... the overall purpose He is working out. GOD is the Director. It's right there, it tells us that He wrote the screenplay to our lives, long before we even knew He was the director. So here it is. When we are hurt and confused and scared, instead of stopping dead in our tracks and asking why? Why did this happen? Why did we break up? Why me? Why aren't you here? What if we looked at it like a movie? What if we just put our confusion, hurt, anger, and fear to the side and waited for our Director to reveal what comes next, allow Christ to show us the next scene AND bring everything together at the end, so that it all makes sense. I know not everything will always make sense, but it will all work out. God's overall purpose is working out in everything and everyone. So why don't we trust that?
I challenge you, and myself. Go see Black Swan, or watch a movie that will confuse you, and pay attention to the way you react to that confusion... you may say- WHAT?!?!?! but I bet you'll wait for the next scene, you will have faith that the Director is going to pull it all together, and bring it full circle. Then do that with your own life... allow God to show you what's next after every hard time, and allow Him to bring it full circle. Embrace life. Embrace God. Embrace His direction. and Enjoy the Show.
Grace and Peace
B
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