The World We Live In

I often find myself amused by "Christian" phrases. Now, if some of you have read Jon Acuff's blog Stuff Christians Like... don't stop reading because you think I'm jacking his ideas. This is a legitimate concern. So many times we, as Christians, talk about "the ways of the World" and being "in the world, but not of the world". Now, don't get me wrong... I'm not mocking these things, nor am I arguing their existance or validity. However, in the last 8 days I have realized something about the truth concerning The World.

A week ago I wrote about an amazing experience I had with Christ while away from the world on The Walk to Emmaus. I had a mountain top, retreat high from all of the great things I heard and experienced. Since I returned, it has taken absolutely no time at all for me to sink back into the ways of The World. I never really thought about how worldly my life really is, or how down-trodden I have allowed myself to become based on what the World thinks of me. I'll be really transparent right now and say that while I was on my retreat I used one curse word the entire 3 days, I didn't even curse in my head. Unfortunately, that has changed again since I have returned to the World. Now, it's something that I am working on and I don't just cuss to because I think it sounds cool, it's a bad habit. The sad thing is that's not the only change I've noticed...

I made some great strides in my prayer life, the time I was spending in the Word, and my relationships with other Christian men, those things have all greatly suffered since returning. Last week was once again a blur at work, today was frustrating... and yet despite everything that goes on I know that one thing remains and that is Christ's presence in my daily life. So if that's true, why do I ignore it so often?? Why do we, all of us, allow the World to push Christ out of the foreground and into the background. Why do we allow ourselves to take, take, take both of the World and Christ.. and yet the only one giving anything worthwhile is Christ. The World can not supply a joy that has longevity. The thing that bothers me most, is it affects my ability to minister to those I encounter on a daily basis. For example, I get to work around 7:30 every day. I love the stillness and calm of our office before everyone is there. This morning I was reading over my VOD while sitting at my desk and I heard a sneeze come from across the office. I had no idea who was there, couldn't see them outside my cubicle, and I wanted to say "God bless you" but I stopped myself. The World stopped me, because the World has convinced me that I have to be incredibly sensitive to others beliefs, even going as far as ignoring my own. I'm not saying that tolerance.. no no, acceptance is not a vital part of community. But to what extent do we go to be careful not to offend others. While I played all of this out in my head during about a 6 second span, God answered by giving me yet another opportunity, my coworker sneezed again, and again I remained quiet. If that wasn't enough, he sneezed a third time and then another coworker sneezed as well. Now, disregarding the health concern with all this sneezing going on, I just couldn't bring myself to say "God bless you" because I live of this World...

Maybe that seems extremely menial to you, but one of the things I have heard a lot lately is that we may be the only Bible someone ever gets a chance to read. I, me, Brad Robertson could be the only way that coworker, waitress, cashier, customer, fellow shopper, driver, or person on the elevator would have the chance to experience Christ that day. And I just completely blew it, I saw the opportunity, and I watched it blow away like a plastic bag in the wind (name that movie reference). I am actually disappointed in myself for my inability to be a disciple in that way. I realized I talk/complain about wanting to work in ministry, and God gave me a great opportunity to do ministry in a secular environment, and I couldn't no, I wouldn't do it. God answered my plea to be used in whatever way He deemed fit by calling me to be a light in my workplace, and I blew out my own flame... or did I? The great thing about being a follower, is that if we put our faith in Christ, our flame is everlasting. Now, that doesn't mean the World won't try to convince us to hide our flame, or that the World won't try to blow it out, but lucky for us Christ is greater than the World. Christ conquered death, something that no one that is "of the world" has ever done.

So let me ask you this... how are you living your daily life? Are you allowing the world to use you as it's punching bag, or are you standing your ground, dodging and blocking it's blows, and fighting back until you persevere? Have you really thought about how the World affects your daily life? What would people be saying about the World, if we really allowed Christ to hold the whole world in HIS hands, instead of trying to grasp it in our own? Marinate on that.

Grace and Peace


Matthew 22:39


Now, you are probably all laughing while thinking about me running a marathon, in fact, I'm laughing about it myself. That's not what the opening phrase is referring too though. Lately, I have been running and in this situation I feel like the Flash (Bazinga!). That's not a good thing. I have been running from a huge burden in my life. A burden that has been hurting me terribly since I returned from Ethiopia and allowed myself to fall back into the ways of the world. I haven't talked to anyone about what's been going on in this area of my life, so if you are reading this and wondering what it is I'm talking about, and you find yourself upset that I haven't come to you about this, I apologize. However, you are not alone, because literally no one knew about this until Friday. In fact, the first time I have even alluded to the struggle was Thursday afternoon... so hang on tight because this is going to be an emotional ride (for me at least).


I can't tell you anything about this weekend, as far as specific details go. I can tell you that saying that this weekend was life-changing is an understatement. I laughed, I cried, I prayed, I was in fellowship with a large group of Christian men, and I was transformed. Before I left I had two very important conversations with two very important people. I mentioned to each of these friends that I knew that while I was gone for three days I would have to face some big sins, and face God and myself. That terrified me. I had no idea how difficult it would actually be. I had no idea just how heavy this burden was on me.


Friday night I had this amazing experience with Christ. During a moment before bed, something just hit me and the weight of everything just came crashing down. I finally had to face what I had been running from for the last 11 months. So I removed my glasses, bowed my head, and began to weep. I called out to Christ and confessed what was bothering me. I had finally hit my breaking point and it was time to come clean.


There it is. That was what had been separating me from God for almost a year. I didn't love myself, and I didn't know how to love myself. I had been so unhappy with my physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental being that I was beginning to look at myself with disgust. Now, let me clarify, at no point had I become depressed, I was just at the point where I could not find joy in myself at all, all of my joy was coming from other people/places. I was at a point where looking in the mirror was a terrible way to start my day. So I asked Christ to restore me, to change the way I feel about myself, and teach me to love myself. You see, I love Christ and I understand that Christ loves me. I have felt the love of Christ, but I didn't understand it. I couldn't figure out how a God so perfect could love someone so wretched. Over the last few months I had noticed a trend occurring in my life. There are a group of people, that I tell that I love them on a weekly, almost daily basis, because I do. These people reciprocated my love, and while I knew that they meant it, I didn't understand why. I began to question why anyone outside of my family could love me, when I couldn't love myself. Sitting there Friday night I began to pray.."Why, God, why? Why can't I love myself, why do you love me, how can others love me, what's next???" While I was praying, weeping, and praying some more, one of the team members came up and asked if I wanted to talk. I poured my heart out to this man that I didn't even know (the funny thing is, I couldn't see him either, no glasses and my eyes were flooded with tears) but I told him everything about how I was feeling. He prayed for me, and I felt the weight begin to lift. I continued to pray into the night, and I continued to cry. The next day I confessed my burden to some other people, I listened to God begin to speak, and for the first time in a very long time I looked and in a mirror and smiled at my own reflection. Not because I am particularly good looking, but because I finally had made peace with Christ, and battle the beast.


If you recall, the last blog I put up was about being more intentional in being relational. I realized my excuses in regards to time weren't the only problems I was facing, I was having difficulty loving my neighbors (in this case being relational) because I couldn't love myself. Matthew 22:39 says "Love your neighbor as you love yourself" that's pretty hard to do when you don't love yourself. I realized that the reason I was skipping out on things, spending more time at home in front of the TV, and not acting much like myself was because I couldn't love myself. That all changed this weekend. I was reminded that I am a child of God, and while I may not be anything special, God created me in His image, and Christ thinks I'm worthy of His own life. That means more than I ever understood before this weekend. I began to realize that while there is always room for improvement, because we are works in progress, it didn't definitively mean that I was unworthy of love. In fact, after this weekend, I feel more loved than I ever have in my entire life. Christ lit a fire in my heart, a fire that had burned out over time, a fire in which my love for Christ, was kindled by the love for myself, which then fueled my ability to love others. I am thankful beyond words for what Christ did for me this weekend. Of course it doesn't stop there, but that's another story. I am renewewd in Christ, and renewed in the love I have for myself.


I learned a lot this weekend. There is more to be said on the above revelation, but to be honest I am exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally (which I may have already said). Stay tuned though, one of the things I got out of this weekend was rethinking my priorities. Writing needs to become a higher priority, because it allows me to put my thoughts into words, and it allows me to share with my brothers and sisters in Christ, what is on my heart. I love you.

Grace and Peace


Conversations that create inspiration

This post has been a long time coming. I have had many people ask me if I had stopped writing, but that's not the case at all. I think God has been preparing me to write this over the last few weeks. Life has been moving faster than ever and it seems as though I have had 6 hours to breath in the last 2 months. It was during a conversation with a brother of mine this week that made me realize, I haven't been writing for two reasons 1. I have been uninspired, I have been so focused on work that I haven't taken any time to allow the Holy Spirit to move in me (more on that later) 2. I think if I had tried to write in the last two months or so all I would have done was babble and complain, that isn't the purpose of this blog, nor is it something I want to put my readers through. While I don't promise that there will not be complaints throughout my posts, I will always try to remain focused on the Kingdom, the way God is working in my life and the lives of those around me...

As I said before life has been moving fast, so let me catch you up on everything that has been happening. Some of you may know back in December I accepted a contract position with Cummins. It was initially supposed to last 2 months, it has now been 4 months and I have another 6 months guaranteed. The hope is that at some point in the next 6 months I will be offered a full time position. To be honest when I took the position I was really just trying to make a little money. It has turned into a huge blessing, a position that I currently love and a great ministry opportunity. Two months after accepting the contract I moved into a house with a good friend of mine. It's great to be on my own again, and while it was different at first to be living that close to home but not at home, I know this was a good move for me. Between work, a new house, church/small group, friends and family life has been a whirlwind. My excuse for not writing, not staying in touch, not reading, etc. has been that I don't have time...

This week I have been getting to know some new people. Through a series of conversations with some of these people about their desires to be more involved I came to the realization that my excuses have no validity. I found myself telling them that if they felt a call on their heart then they needed to answer that call. I knew that despite what they had going on, God would provide the time, energy, and resources to get everything done because they were doing what He was calling them to do. Talk about slapping myself in the face. Here I was encouraging people to answer their call, and yet I was blatantly ignoring my own. I have things I have committed to that need follow through. I need to be more intentional about being relational. I need to continue to make time to ask people for prayers... And I don't mean ask them for prayers for myself, but ask them how I can pray for them. I am thankful for the people God is placing in my path, I am excited to see those relationships develop and grow. I constantly think about the bible and the letters that Paul writes to the different churches. He as genuine concern for them and their relationships with Christ. I want to be more like Paul in that way. I want to be more focused on the growth of those around me, and my own impact on them.

I am a constant work in progress and there are days when I take backward steps. I am learning every day how beautiful the grace and mercy of God really is. I have finally begun to slow down and take more time to enjoy everything. Things like staying up way too late to have meaningful conversations, or going for a run after work (granted I almost died after the one). I want nothing more than to look back and feel as though I never missed a meaningful moment because I took the time to stop and embrace all the beauty that God has created. I am thankful for family, friends, financial stability, the opportunity to serve in more ways each day, and the influence others are having in my life! Stay tuned readers... There is more to come. I love you.

Let me know how I can pray for you

Grace and Peace