To Save a Life...

There's something I haven't told you...

There's something, I haven't really told anyone. I have alluded to this truth in the past through posts like The Great Rescue and An early morning beating.... Over the last 10 years, I have wondered when it would be time to share this part of my story, when the transparency I have allowed would no longer be enough. After last night, I realized it's time. Please forgive me for not sharing this with you sooner.. I believe God has a purpose for this story, and I believe that purpose could not be fulfilled until this precise moment.


When I was 14, my life was... intolerable. I was a misfit, I was lonely, and I was lost. I felt secluded, often times because seclusion was easier than facing people. I was bullied... 10 years ago it was considered "boys being boys". I was mocked, made fun of, torn down, and desperate. It came to a point, where I was finally tired of living. I had no will to fight it anymore, life had no value. The enemy was so present in my life, and had caused me to run so far from God, that I couldn't even figure out where I was. I would lay in bed at night and wonder what the point was, wonder why God didn't care. Why wasn't I better at sports? Why didn't people like me? Why did my "friends" make fun of me? Why were people so cruel? Why should I live? How could anyone love me? I had literally lost all hope. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know who to turn too... because at 14 I was convinced that my parents wouldn't understand, that no one would understand, that I was the only person that felt that way. I remember writing down my thoughts in our family's old gateway computer that was in my room. I would write horrible things about not wanting to live, not wanting to be a part of this world... and then, one night... it came crashing down in a way I couldn't believe. I laid in bed that night, and starting thinking of ways to end everything. My thoughts were grim, dark, desperate, and... suicidal. That night, I went to the computer and sat down to put my thoughts onto the screen. Little did I know, God was right there with me, through all of it. There was something keeping me from making a horrible decision that night. As I've said before, when I started writing, every keystroke was like removing a penny from the thousands of dollars that were crushing my soul. I felt a weight lift from me, I felt something greater pushing me to fight... and yet, I still didn't believe God was there. That night, at 14 years old... I didn't make the wrong decision, because if I had... I wouldn't be writing this today. It wasn't a choice not to end my life, it was a rescue from God for my life to have meaning. I didn't get it when I was 14, I didn't get the God thing at all... but I started to see a change. One person at school started to be nice to me, I started to find my niche, I started to fit in. I started to see that my live had meaning and purpose... and that there was something more. I had hope again. I can't pinpoint when things started to change, because it was a gradual process, but not a day goes by that I am not thankful that I didn't take my life...


Some of you may be wondering why I'm talking about this now, why would I come forward after 10 years and write openly on the internet about the fact that 10 years ago, I considered ending my own life... I write these words now, because it matters. It's a part of my story I can't run from. It's something that needs to be told, because there are teens who are just like I was, that need to know that things get better. It's not an instantaneous fix. I fought darkness and depression for years after... and even now there are bad days. However, since that night, since God rescued me from myself... I've never once considered ending my life. Last night, we had the To Save A Life Movie event at Yes! Cinema. This was done In Memory of Avery and Mary, two local students that took their own lives. Two beautiful teenagers, that couldn't see their rescue, that couldn't regain their hope, and that lost their lives to tragedy. Last night, I would say about 300 people of so came out to watch this movie that really hits home for me. It brings serious light to the tragic epidemic that teen suicide. I saw students, parents, and leaders in our community leave theaters with tears in their eyes and I prayed that we would start to see a change. That this event would be impactful, because.. well... I'm one of the lucky ones. I was able to see my rescue, I was able to find new hope, and it only took one smile, one message, one hello, one friend to show me that my life had value. 10 years later, I have battled with self-image, loving myself, and confidence over and over. Everytime, I come out a little stronger, loving myself a little more, and much more confident. At 24 years old, I have a great job, my own house, amazing friends, the same two amazing parents (only now I know they understand me), a church that I call home, a purpose, and most importantly, a relationship with my Savior. It took 10 long years to get where I am, but every moment was worth living. Life is not always easy, but it's always worth it. I have pursued The Father with more passion in the last year than I have in the 23 preceding it. I am made new each day in Christ, and I have a new hope each morning that God will continue to mold me into who I am called to be.


Some of you may relate better with the first part of this post, as opposed to the second. I get that, that's why this was written. I want you to know, that you are not alone. I've been where you are, and while times are different now, the pain isn't any more difficult to deal with. Please hear me when I say, you have a purpose, your life has meaning and value, and you matter. If nothing else, I care about you. Because I know what it feels like to be lost and broken, I know what despair looks like, and I know that one person can make a difference. I'm willing to be that difference. If you need someone to talk too, don't hesitate to get ahold of me. As for those of you that relate better to the second part of this post. Let's start investing in lives of others. I know that investments can be risky, but they can also be fruitful beyond our wildest imagination. Be the difference in someone's life. Don't allow loneliness to arrest someone's soul, help them to break free from the despair. Give a smile, a hello, a helping hand, eat lunch with someone who eats alone, hang out with someone that seems to be by themselves all the time... take it from someone that's been there, it makes a difference. Do what it takes... To Save A Life.

Grace and Peace,



Pastors, Politicians, Prayer...

Remember when I said, at the beginning of the year, that this year I was going to be more bold in what I write, stop worrying about the arguments it could start, and just say what I think. This was pushed even further by a post by Carlos Whittaker on Twitter, that was truly a moment of speaking your mind...

Well, here goes nothing.

This is a tweet that was posted yesterday by well-known Pastor Mark Driscoll:

Now, let me go ahead and say... I'm not a fan of Mark Driscoll... at all.  I'm also not here to debate politics or to discuss my views (or yours) of our current President. There's a bigger issue here, and it's one worth talking about. First off, I'd like to address, in looking at the picture, there were at least 1165 people that "Favorited" (the twitter equivalent of a Facebook "like") this tweet. Driscoll has 328,047 Twitter followers as  of right now. His reach is so vast, that posting things like this can truly be detrimental to the impact we are having for the Kingdom. Before you argue with me, again this isn't about his political view or yours, please hear me out. 

For those of you that don't know, Mark Driscoll has authored another book recently, titled "Who Do You Think You Are?". I, in turn, must ask Driscoll that very question... @PastorMark Who Do You Think You Are??? What gives you the right to judge a man that you do not know, that you do not have a relationship with, and that you most likely have never had a conversation with about The Father, The Kingdom, or Jesus Christ. In what realm, does being a nationally (quite possibly internationally) Pastor, make it okay for you to call someone else out based on nothing more than your political stance differing from his. I don't care what the media has taught us about President Obama's religious preferences, we have no idea what he practices behind close doors. That would be like me calling your salvation into question, simply because I disagree with your tweet. That's not happening, because I can't judge your salvation. While I am not a fan of Driscoll, I am also not going to deny the fact that he has done some things that have definitely advanced the Kingdom of God. That makes this an even bigger issue though, because you should be aware of the reach that you have. That tweet alone reached your 328,047 followers, not including the thousands of people that follow the 3,183 people that retweeted that. I would say, at an extremely low estimate, that tweet reached a good 750,000 people. I also believe, it probably warranted a few different responses from both Christians and non-Christians alike:

1. Hatred/disdain towards our President. It's clear that a lot of people like Obama, because they voted him into office. However, those that don't support Obama are usually much more vocal than those that do. I'm not saying it's not okay to have political beliefs, but when you call the President's beliefs into question, you are supporting the idea that as Christians it's okay to slander our country's Leader because the media has given us a viewpoint that, more than likely, is skewed one way or the other. 

2. Disdain/Upheaval against (and towards) the Church and Christians. That message reached a lot of non-Christians. The pure judgmental nature of such a tweet can and will induce an uproar of non-believers calling Christians out for our own hatred of those different than us. As Christ Followers we are called to "Be imitators of Christ" (Ephesians 5:1). The last time I checked, Christ loved everyone, regardless of their sins. Christ could have struck down Pilate at any given time. He knew this man, Pontius Pilate, was going to crucify Him. Yet, even as Christ suffered on the Cross, He cried out "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing" Luke 23:34. Christ didn't say "Father, forgive them, except for their leader Pilate, who doesn't believe in me, let's not forgive him because he doesn't really know you". Therefore, if we are to live a life like that of Christ, we must love others. No matter our difference in political opinions. 

3. One scripture: "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended." *Romans 13:1-3

I'm not going to talk about my political views. However, I will say, that I am not aware of why God puts anyone in office. So, I don't know what the reason behind putting Obama in the Presidency again is. The beautiful thing about God and my faith in Him... is that I don't have to understand with it, or agree with it, or approve of it. God is the ultimate Authority. I can trust that He will take care of us, and it is my duty to pray for President Obama, Congress, and the rest of our government officials... not to pray or rebel against them. Instead of slinging hate about a guy that we only know based on the media (which generally we tend to shade towards following the media that shares our opinion of him *BIAS*) we need to trust our God, show love to the man in power here in this country, and pray that God will use and guide him. I am thankful that we have the right to free speech... but if we don't use it in a way that glorifies God, we aren't really doing justice to that Freedom. Think before you speak, you never know the amount of people you are reaching or the impact you might have. Instead of separating prayer and politics, let's unite them as facilities for a common goal-- to make the Kingdom known. 

Grace and Peace


Supporting the Call... Take 2

It's Happening Again.

There's been this call placed on my heart. A call to live and embrace Matthew 28:19. A call to love people who I've never met before. A call, that I will be answering in March.

I am about to embark on yet another mission trip. My dear friend Amanda, traveled to a small country called Moldova a little less than a year ago. She spent 4 months there working with Word Made Flesh, during the last year, as Amanda and I's friendship has grown and strengthened I have heard her talk about her experience, the people, the city, the weather... all the details right down to the somewhat sketchy amusement park they visited. Then, about 2-3 months ago she approached me about an opportunity to go to Moldova. She was going to be leading a team from our church, that would spend roughly 11 days in Eastern Europe ministering and working at an orphanage. As soon as she told me we would be working with kids, I was sold. So, I started praying. I had a lot to pray about in this particular situation because a few other opportunities to return to Africa, and travel elsewhere had presented themselves. However, I felt called to this one....

I need your help. Once again readers, I humbly come to you looking for support, both spiritually and financially. I need prayer more than anything: prayer for myself, my team, the children, and impact we can have for the Kingdom. If nothing else, if the only response this post invokes is prayer... than it's been successful. Secondly, I need help raising the money to go. The cost is roughly $2500 and there is no way I can afford that on my own. If you wouldn't mind, please take a moment and read the support letter I have drafted below. If you feel led to support me financially, there are many ways you can do that listed at the end of that letter. Thank you for supporting me, stay tuned for more details!

Grace and Peace,

Dear Friends and Family,
I hope this letter finds you doing well and enjoying the start of a new year. I am writing to share with you about an incredible opportunity I have coming up this spring. As many of you know, I have a heart and passion for ministry, especially for international missions. As I have expressed in the past it is my desire to truly answer the Call in Matthew 28:19 when Christ commands us to “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit…”. This Spring, I will be joining a team of 8 people from my church, Community Church of Columbus, on a trip to the small Eastern European country of Moldova. We will depart on March 17th and return on March 28th. Our team will be partnering with the missions organization Word Made Flesh, as we minister to children in a government run orphanage.
I am extremely excited about this mission opportunity because it is unlike any of the other trips I have taken. I will have the opportunity to share the Gospel and the love of Jesus Christ with His children in Moldova. I was immediately drawn to this opportunity due to the realization that I would get to share The Father’s love with the fatherless.  I have no idea what God has in store for me there, but I do know that I will be broken, uplifted, shaped, moved, awestruck, and mesmerized by the Creator for the entire 11 days that I am there. Just as in the past, I am striving to live a life similar to that of Abraham, in that when God says “Go!” I go without question. While I answer the Call God has placed on my heart this Spring, there are a few ways you can be supporting me.
The first and most important support I can ask for is Prayer. Please be in prayer for our team and in prayer for the people in Moldova who we will be interacting with on a daily basis. Please join me in praying for strength, good health, amazing acts of God, to be completely broken (for me at least), to be completely made whole, to find answers to the questions I have, and to be changed into more of the man that God wants me to be. We know that prayer is the foundation to everything we do, and everyone on the team is seeking multiple people who will commit to pray for us.
Secondly, it would be a huge blessing if you are able to help support our team financially. I fully trust that God will provide each team member with the money to take this trip, however, I know that we can’t afford it on our own. The total cost of my trip is $2500, not including the cost of vaccinations. I will need to receive only two vaccines for this trip, so hopefully that cost will not amount to much. If you feel led to help financially, send me a message or send your support to the address listed on the envelope included (also listed at the top of this letter). Please make all checks out to Community Church of Columbus with my name in the memo line. You can also donate by clicking the Paypal “Donate!” button on my blog (musicalmindset-realnoimitation.blogspot.com). What I really want you to do is pray for me, that is the number one thing I need. Thank you all for your love and support, I will continue to post notes and blogs leading up to the trip, during, and after I get back to let you all know what amazing things God does while we are in Moldova!

Grace and Peace,
Brad Robertson


Community with a Side of Bacon

If you've ever read any portion of my blog, I'm sure you're familiar with how important I think community is to our lives physically, mentally and spiritually. If you haven't, go ahead and do that now... it's okay, we'll wait..... ( please close/reopen your browser for each post you read, trying to build my rep up with "pageviews"). While you're reading old posts, also please not my use of parenthetical sarcasm, as illustrated above. ANYWAY... back on topic, community is a HUGE factor in  my growth and development as a Christian and as a man. I strongly believe that if it were not for the impact of community, I wouldn't be able to write this blog, work at my company, graduated in college, or succeeded in any way. God calls us to live in community with one another, I absolutely can't stress the importance of community enough. The church I attend, has somewhere upwards of 65 small groups. Small groups are one way that we live in community with one another. We are a church made up of small groups. I love my small group, and it has stretched me in ways that I could never have imagined. However, I still felt like there was something missing within my Walk... and I couldn't figure out what that was.

God. Provides.

A few months ago, I found myself greatly disheartened, by the corporate business world, the spiritual darkness of my workplace, and the inability to influence my coworkers more than they were influencing me. This led to a conversation with a guy, who when I was 8 years old was the older, cooler college age guy that coached my soccer team, when I was 18 years old was my high school soccer team that ran us so hard in practice I sometimes wanted to kill him, and now that I'm 24 years old is one of my closest friends, and a spiritual mentor. He made me realize that if I wasn't willing to pray for the corporate business world, the workplace, my coworkers... than I didn't really care about those things as much as I wanted to believe I did. That conversation planted a seed in the garden of my mind ( Mr. Roger's reference). I needed to establish a group of people that could pray for Columbus area businesses. This group was going to be comprised of men, that were curious about God or actively seeking God. Men that worked in Columbus. Men that wanted to pray for their workplaces. It all came to fruition through the creation of a new small group called... Community with a Side of Bacon.


Three things that go hand in hand with each other (or hand to mouth in the case of Bacon). I love community, and I love bacon. SO, this new small group meets on Wednesday mornings at 6:45 am at a local diner. We can eat breakfast, with other men of like-mind and heart, discuss the workplace and the struggles we see there. It's a safe place for men to talk about anything and everything. Including, but not limited to: Pride, Greed, Lust, Failure, Anger, Ethics, and Workplace Witnessing. I felt called to start and lead this group, and I have a HUGE vision for what it may become. We will quickly bond as a brotherhood, a community of manly bacon lovers (Vegetarians need not apply... kidding of course... sort of). We'll meet on Wednesday mornings because it's the middle of the work week, it allows for things to come up from the beginning of the week, and things to pray about going into the end of the week. It also, make it an awesome day for me in respect to community. My three meals a day will be spent with people from the community of believers that I belong too. Men's breakfast, Men's Lunch, Small Group dinner. It's a refreshing and rejuvenating day throughout a sometimes stressful week. And...


This morning we met for the first time. Aside from myself, we had 6 men show up to pray together. We talked briefly about our jobs, where we come from, who we are, and what led us to join the group. We range from young guys in their first career or searching for a job to older guys that have been with their company for 22 years. It was such a blessing to hear a brief part of each man's story.. and I greatly look forward to learning more about them. If you would, pray with us, pray for us, pray that our prayers would be intentional. If you're a man, and you want to join us... get ahold of me. If you're a woman, and you're interested... get in touch with me, I'd love to see a women's counterpart to our group form. If you're just reading this blog because you needed a break from class/work/the kids/ or the Xbox... go ahead and pray for our businesses, for our small groups, for our community. Prayer can change the world.

Grace and Peace.... and bacon.



A new year, a new transparency

Today marks the second day of a new year, 2013, and this is the first post of that new year. 2012 was a crazy year for a lot of us, and 2013 stands to hold a lot of unexpected adventures, heartaches, and blessings.  This year, this blog is going to get real, transparent, in your face at time. Starting today...

I celebrated the end of a year, and the beginning of another with my small group. I then spent the first day of the new year, laying in bed. I had to return to the office today, so I decided to spend yesterday doing one of my favorite things... sleeping/relaxing. I thought maybe I would keep my mind shut down for the day, just revel in my last day of vacation. God had other plans... Around 5:00 pm yesterday I got a text asking for prayer... prayer for a brother struggling with lust. As I started to respond with some kind of encouragement, God told me it was time to start the year with transparency. So I responded with "Absolutely brother-- me too... So prayers are needed for me as well." There it was... and there it is. I struggle with lust. That's a lot harder to admit on a blog than it was in a text message. However, as the day went on, I couldn't stop thinking about how wicked my sin is. I wrestled with it for the rest of the evening. As I laid down to end my day around 11:00 pm last night, I was reading through the I Am Second book, and I felt God pulling at my heart strings. As I began to pray, and contemplate my sin and struggle with lust... some realizations came into focus through a second conversation with my brother.

1. Sometimes we fight and fight, and still lose the battle. Until we have allowed Christ to have full dominion over our hearts, we can't fully allow Him to fight for us.

2. The Father will not reveal the woman I am called to marry to me, until I can face my sin and rid myself of it. Lust is holding me back from pursuing the right woman, my selfish desires are not worth God's plan for my life.

3. When I lust after a woman, I am not only dishonoring her, a princess in the Kingdom of God, but also dishonoring the King of Kings, and the man, my brother, that God has created perfectly for her, the man she is called to marry.

4. I'm not only committing a sin against God and myself, but against my brother and sister-- I am objectifying my sister and showing total disregard for the heart of my brother.

5. Every time I lust, I am committing adultery. God knows my wife, He is preparing her for me and me for her. Every time I sin I am putting my own selfish desire before the needs of my future wife.

That's the reality of lust. It's a wicked, vile, self-destructive sin. It's something I struggle with daily, and it's a very real struggle for a lot of men I know. You may be wondering why this is what my first post of the year is about... well... it's because it's a problem, that needs to be resolved. If there's one thing I learned in 2012 it is that in order to overcome struggle and sin, you have to be honest with God, yourself, and others. In order to overcome lust, I need to be held accountable. If it hadn't been for my brother texting me yesterday, I would have lost my battle with lust. As brothers we are called to stand and fight, not back to back in hopes to hide or disguise our battle from each other, but side by side so as to face and confront them with the help of others. If we stand united, and lock arms on the front lines of the Army of God, we can obliterate the lust from our hearts. Men, let's rise up, let's tackle this sin the way the guy from SC stuck it to Michigan yesterday (look it up if you didn't see that hit!). Let's protect our sisters, our future wives, and our selves by being honest and real with each other. Let's stop hiding the struggles we face, and face them with the help of our friends and family. Let's lay down our lust at the foot of the Cross, and allow God to heal us. As Iron sharpens Iron....

Grace and Peace,