6.08.2011

A change of country, brought a change of heart

I apologize for the lack of updates following my return to the United States, but fear not, now that I am home for good I intend to update multiple times a week. Let's get to the real meat and potatoes right off the bat. Ethiopia. Wow... I.Am.Changed. I had no idea what to expect when I left this place for a third-world country, for a place I had never been too, to a place that I knew very little about. It's probably a good thing I had very little expectation for my trip, because it allowed me to be open to everything God wanted to do in my life. As some of you know our trip started out pretty rocky with some delay in flights, causing us to spend a whole day in Detroit (yippeee) and miss a whole day in Ethiopia. God had a purpose though, God used that time to prepare our hearts even more, and to bring us together before we even got out of our comfort zones. The time spent in that hotel began memories that I will cherish for a very long time, and it set a precedent for the rest of the trip. I realized that God was going to teach me a lot on that trip, I realized this because He started with a lesson in patience and faith when our flights got messed up. When we arrived in Ethiopia it was 1:00 am there, and we were exhausted. The ride from the airport to the compound I was completely mesmerized by everything around us, I didn't feel an ounce of exhaustion during those 25 minutes because I was so floored by the knowledge that I was in Africa. I had no idea what the next day would bring and I didn't care a bit, I was ready for anything. I.wasn't.ready. Monday was... hard. The work was good but difficult, and after only having about 6 hours of sleep, traveling for 2 days, and sleeping very little on the flights I was ready to collapse at the end of the day. We were building a house, and we got started that morning, working, learning, and doing everything that we could to push through until quitting time. I was ready for bed at 8:00 pm that first night, and I slept like a baby. Being away from my family and friends proved to be much more difficult than I expected it to be, I struggled greatly those first few days. However, that was part of God's plan. I learned how to PRAY... let me explain that. I have always prayed, I have always brought my troubles before God and asked him to fix them, but up to this point that was about all I ever did. When I think about it, and I am truly honest with myself and all of you, I realize that my prayer life was...well... pitiful. I used this analogy tonight at small group, and I said that a lot of times I treat God as a landlord. What I mean by that is that I call on Him only when things are broken, and expect Him to fix things with little help or effort put out by me. This really came to the forefront of my realizations in Africa. I noticed that I didn't pray the way that I should. It wasn't about the amount of time I spent praying, rather it was the way that I was praying. I needed to be in full conversation and fellowship with my creator while I was praying, and not once a day but throughout the day. So I started praying more on our trip. I prayed specifically for a few different things, I prayed for discernment, which He provided, and I prayed for the full Ethiopian experience, and that I would be broken. Be.Careful.What.You.Pray.For. I had no idea God would answer in the way that He did. Even the answer to my prayers for discernment was a bit of a shock, but it ended up being what was best for me, even if I disagreed originally. The other two prayers is really where I want to focus though. I prayed to be broken... and I was shattered in a million pieces. God not only broke me spiritually in providing great conversation, teaching me about my own prayer life and faith, but also emotionally in being away from and without communication with my family, and physically. Emotionally... I felt alone at first. I will honestly say I speak to my parents every day, even at school I would at least email/text one of them. I was used to talking to my sister, my favorite Old Tymer, and my best friends. Other than a few emails I had no way of communicating. God used this time to teach me about depending on Him for comfort rather than depending on others. At one point on Wednesday I was furious because I hadn't received an email from my family at all. God placed a peace on my heart that told me to not be angry, and I prayed for forgiveness, then I prayed that He would encourage me that day, to keep pushing forward despite my emotional break. An hour later I logged on to my gmail account for the first time and I had 6 emails from family and friends, talk about encouragement! I felt this sense of calm, I was ready to continue serving my God with the knowledge that people were praying for me at home. I felt on top of the world to be honest, and at 8000 ft. elevation, that's not hard to do! Then something else happened... remember how I said I was physically broken as well? That hit hard and hit fast. I woke up Monday morning, after a week in Ethiopia, feeling as though I was going to die. I was ready to write my will. Convinced that I had malaria, I found the strength to get up, I made it the 10 ft to the bathroom and got sick. It stayed that way until Wednesday afternoon. I didn't eat for 3 days and lost 15 pounds. I was miserable. Yet, I got what I asked for. God not only broke me yet again, but He made sure I got the whole Ethiopian experience. T.I.A. This is Africa. The Fehl's explained that being sick was just part of it, and that I prayed for it and God provided... next time I go out of the country I will be a little more cautious. However, the time spent in bed/bathroom allowed me to read, pray, and think about everything that life had thrown at me in the last few months. I was able to make some big decisions, realize some things, learn a few lessons, and enjoy a good book. I am so thankful for those three days that I was sick. Here.I.Am. So here I am, I'm back in the U.S. and completely changed by my trip. I learned a lot about myself, about how to live my life for God, and about the things that aren't necessities in life. I am now back in Columbus, IN. Living at home, reading, doing as many things with my church as possible, enjoying my family, hanging out with friends, getting back in shape, playing golf, and searching for a job of course. Now, this isn't the end of the updates on what happened in Ethiopia, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Stay tuned if you want to here the rest. Grace and Peace.

1 comment:

  1. So when are you going on your next missions trip? lol. I guess all there is to say is: Wow. Isn't God amazing? Your experiences are encouraging and inspiring... And I am glad that God is working in your life!!

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