Imagery of the Glory of the Lord

Did you think I had forgotten you?

Don't worry, I'm still here... I've just been on a bit of a hiatus from writing. The funny thing is, I kept trying to justify this hiatus by telling myself, and others, that it was because I was focusing on building relationships face to face. When in actuality, I was at a dead sprint running from all things that cause conviction. I had started to drift again, I don't think it was intentional on my part. I think I just started allowing everything else to be an idol. My job owned me. My bills, my timelines, my home, my car, my friends, and my goals that I was convinced I would achieve only through hard work (on my own, mind you) consumed me. There wasn't any time left after all of those things were attended too. If I am completely vulnerable, as I promised I would be on this blog, I left no time for Jesus. I am the only one at fault for this, I was just so..... tired. I was tired of trying to maintain things, and even though I'm always telling other people our strength comes from The Lord, I wasn't listening to myself. So I just ran.... and I ran... and I ran which made me more and more tired. In the last month I have dealt with every emotion possible, and it all accumulated to a meltdown two weeks ago during first service.

I was sitting in the back row, next to my parents at CCC during first service. Looking back the entire thing was completely a God moment. First off, because I usually am at the church for 2nd Service and then later that night for Youth Group, lately I haven't been getting up for 1st service, the fact that I did was the start of some awesome things God was going to do for me. The songs that morning during worship were right on point. I started to feel the weight and stress of everything from the last month was too heavy and I couldn't hold it anymore. Then, right before we started the last song, they mentioned that if anyone would like to come to the alter and lay it all before The Lord they were welcome too. We started to sing Rescue, and I looked over at my Dad and saw the tears streaming down his face. I could see the weight of the world lifting from his shoulders. His breathing was different, as though he was relieved from the pressure and pain. I could tell he was thinking about John, one of his best friends who passed away a few weeks ago. It was in that moment that I decided to go forward, to pray for Pops. However, what I didn't know, was that going forward wasn't just for my Dad, it was for me as well. I don't allow myself to be humbled and taken to my knees before The Lord as often as I used too... but that Sunday morning I couldn't stand up under the weight of the last month any longer and I collapsed. I bowed my head and I cried out to God to be rescued from the anger, the pain, the sadness, the loneliness, the misdirection, and the lack of motivation. I asked for forgiveness for running from God, for not creating time for Him. I laid it all down on the alter that morning.

And as always, My Rescuer was there to pull me from the depths. Except, God didn't just rescue me, He restored me. The last two weeks I have had conversations that have done nothing but affirm the work that God is doing in my heart. Everything from conversations during morning runs with dear friends to phone calls with people I hardly know have been completely God breathed. I was in awe of what He was doing to help me feel restored in Him. Next thing I knew, it was the end of the week... Friday afternoon I hopped in the Jeep and headed down to Spring Hill Camps for the college age retreat. Top down, wind in my face, not a care in the world, I was ready for some relaxation and some fun. This retreat was planned to be a kickoff for the college aged ministry, I was just there to help. It was just supposed to be a weekend to get to know some of the college students in our church. For me, it ended up being so much more than that. After arriving to the camp, and driving around a few times (I may or may not have gotten a little lost...) I parked the Jeep by the entrance to help direct the rest of our group where to go (You know, because if someone as directionally intelligent as me could get lost, everyone else was in trouble...ha). I knew I had a little time to wait before anyone arrived, so I grabbed the little pocket sized Bible out of my glove box and started to flip through it. I turned to Ezekiel and realized I had never read the book of Ezekiel all the way through, in fact, I knew virtually nothing of what this book contained. So I started reading, and decided over the next few weeks I would walk through this book and see what I could learn. I mean, from the very beginning, during Ezekiel's "inaugural vision" (my Bible gives cool headlines), the way that the Spirit of The Lord appears to Ezekiel during this vision is so mind-blowing that I've read and re-read it at least a dozen times since that Friday.

In fact, I don't usually do this... but I'm going to copy and paste it here:

"As I looked, I saw a great storm coming from the north, driving before it a huge cloud that flashed with lightning and shone with brilliant light. There was fire inside the cloud, and in the middle of the fire glowed something like gleaming amber.[d] 5 From the center of the cloud came four living beings that looked human, 6 except that each had four faces and four wings. 7 Their legs were straight, and their feet had hooves like those of a calf and shone like burnished bronze. 8 Under each of their four wings I could see human hands. So each of the four beings had four faces and four wings. 9 The wings of each living being touched the wings of the beings beside it. Each one moved straight forward in any direction without turning around.

10 Each had a human face in the front, the face of a lion on the right side, the face of an ox on the left side, and the face of an eagle at the back. 11 Each had two pairs of outstretched wings—one pair stretched out to touch the wings of the living beings on either side of it, and the other pair covered its body. 12 They went in whatever direction the spirit chose, and they moved straight forward in any direction without turning around.

13 The living beings looked like bright coals of fire or brilliant torches, and lightning seemed to flash back and forth among them. 14 And the living beings darted to and fro like flashes of lightning.

15 As I looked at these beings, I saw four wheels touching the ground beside them, one wheel belonging to each. 16 The wheels sparkled as if made of beryl. All four wheels looked alike and were made the same; each wheel had a second wheel turning crosswise within it.17 The beings could move in any of the four directions they faced, without turning as they moved. 18 The rims of the four wheels were tall and frightening, and they were covered with eyes all around.19 When the living beings moved, the wheels moved with them. When they flew upward, the wheels went up, too. 20 The spirit of the living beings was in the wheels. So wherever the spirit went, the wheels and the living beings also went. 21 When the beings moved, the wheels moved. When the beings stopped, the wheels stopped. When the beings flew upward, the wheels rose up, for the spirit of the living beings was in the wheels. 22 Spread out above them was a surface like the sky, glittering like crystal. 23 Beneath this surface the wings of each living being stretched out to touch the others’ wings, and each had two wings covering its body. 24 As they flew, their wings sounded to me like waves crashing against the shore or like the voice of the Almighty[e] or like the shouting of a mighty army. When they stopped, they let down their wings. 25 As they stood with wings lowered, a voice spoke from beyond the crystal surface above them. 26 Above this surface was something that looked like a throne made of blue lapis lazuli. And on this throne high above was a figure whose appearance resembled a man. 27 From what appeared to be his waist up, he looked like gleaming amber, flickering like a fire. And from his waist down, he looked like a burning flame, shining with splendor. 28 All around him was a glowing halo, like a rainbow shining in the clouds on a rainy day. This is what the glory of the Lord looked like to me. When I saw it, I fell face down on the ground, and I heard someone’s voice speaking to me."

There aren't even words to describe what an amazing description this is. Up to this point in reading, all I knew about Ezekiel is that he's a Hebrew Prophet, I did a little research and found that Ezekiel means "God will strengthen" and I would imagine that having the Spirit of the Lord reveal himself to you in the way God revealed himself to Ezekiel would surely strengthen even the weakest of souls. It's such a vivid and beautiful image that Ezekiel paints from his vision. However, personally it's one of the last lines that I love the most "This is what the glory of the LORD looked like to me". You see, throughout scripture the Glory of the Lord looks different to many different people. For me, recently, the glory of the Lord as come in the form of the community I belong too, my small group, my friends, my family. I came to the realization this morning that I have been praying for 25-foot doves, for the Spirit of the Lord to come riding in on a chariot of fire, just like Ezekiel saw. God doesn't do things the obvious way though. No, God doesn't always reveal Himself to us in huge, billboard-esque images. Sometimes, God reveals himself and rescues us in the quiet. It's better that way.

Grace and Peace

Conversation, Conviction, and Correction

I'm too busy.

Today has been too stressful.

I don't have the time to think about that.

Those are the lies I catch myself in on a daily basis. Those are the thoughts that literally consume me at work. It's in the midst of those moments, those busy days, those crazy weeks, that God grabs me by the shoulders and says "Stop making excuses, and rest in my grace and mercy". It never fails that just when I think I don't have enough time, or the energy, that's when God sparks conversations that lead to conviction, that leads to the correction.

Today, was one of those days. Today God showed his love for me through a text from my best friend. A text telling me to look for God's faithfulness in the stress, and to be thanking Him for what I have been given. Most of all, reminding me to trust in the plans God has for me, no matter if I understand the circumstances or not. That's a reminder I needed in the worst way. It should come as no surprise to anyone that I don't handle stress well. I've always put a lot of pressure on myself, mainly to try and meet everyone else's needs and to please others. That pressure constantly drowns me, it's the enemy's way of stealing my joy. Thankfully, I have a best friend that loves me enough to speak truth into my life, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

It doesn't end there.

God continues to work, He doesn't just give me enough to relieve the stress, He overflows my cup. He fills me with enough Truth, Love, and conviction that I all I can do is be in awe at how much He loves me. He creates conversation after conversation that help me to grow and walk a little straighter. A second conversation, with a brother who is dear to my heart, provided some insight into the daily struggle of ministry (both occupational and non). We talk about life, ministry, evangelism, Kingdom growth, and accountability. It's because of this brother that some of my struggles are made a little more real, and he helps me to see when my actions are causing others to stumble. I am thankful for that conviction and that accountability. Of course, just when I think it's time to go home and rest, to escape everything that's going on... I flip open my Bible and God uses His Word to sum up the lesson of the day in it's entirety...

"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it" Mark 8:34-35.

I need to remind myself of this each and every morning. I need to walk away from my sin, my struggle and walk to my God, who through all of that crap, is still sovereign. I am thankful for conversations, and conviction that leads to correction. Here's to being a better man tomorrow, the day after that, and the day after that, etc, etc.

Grace and Peace

Sovereign

When I feel like I'm too busy to rest.

My God is still sovereign.

When the enemy tries to lure me back into tempting lust.

My God is still sovereign.

When I forget who I am, and find myself conforming to society's image of me

My God is still sovereign.

When the depression I dealt with in the past, starts to creep back into my present.

My God is still sovereign.

When I feel like I'm in a rut, and I begin to lose hope

My God is still sovereign.

When I feel like all the constants of life are absent in the middle of any given day.

My God is still sovereign.

Each and every day, I remind myself, that through all the pain, joy, triumph, disappointment, failure, discouragement, anger, bliss, excitement, fear, and craziness in my life-- My God is still sovereign. That one thing is all I need to continue to push forward, despite how badly I want to quit. My God has never given up on me, despite spitting in His face time and time again, My God is still sovereign.. 

Grace and Peace

The Power of ONE.

There are a number of struggles I face when it comes to working within ministry. Most of those struggles are the kind that simply "come with the territory". However, there's one of those struggles that usually bothers me more than the others. That struggle of "numbers". Now, any of you that work in ministry probably know exactly what I mean when I say that. It's that idea that the success of your ministry is driven by how many people are attending. I teach College Aged Sunday School, and this time of year, because a lot of students are away at school trying to cap off yet another school year, there are fewer and fewer students in Sunday School. I struggle with that because of a few desires I have for the College Aged Ministry:

1. I want to see the College Age Ministry thrive in Columbus. In terms of this being a "college town" it's not the same as what I experienced in Lexington. That means a lot of times the turnout for things like Sunday School isn't the same. I want to see that change. I want to see a community of people coming together to intentionally study God's Word in a more intimate setting than a corporate worship service.
2. I want to invest in the lives of the College Age people in Columbus. In order to truly and effectively communicate the importance of the Gospel and to encourage a relationship with Christ I have to have a relationship with the individual. I want to invest in the College Age ministry because I want to see those that are apart of it invest in themselves by taking their faith seriously.
3. I want the College Age ministry to flourish causing a transformation of our city. As much as it surprises me that I'm going to write this next sentence... I love the city of Columbus. I know there's a desire for a lot of college students to escape Columbus, their hometown, and experience other parts of the country. I get it because I was that person. However, Columbus has been good to me post-college, and I want to those that are college age to understand the importance and the impact this city can have for the Kingdom of God.


Now, looking at those desires, I see a yearning to truly see College Age Ministry be successful in Columbus. I think it will become a success because I think there are people taking action through CCC that are going to make a difference. Those recognition of those desires this morning helped me realize an area in which I fail in ministry. I focus too much sometimes on numbers. Granted I would love to have 25, 50, 100, College Age people in Sunday School every week. But, right now, that's not the reality. In order to effective I need to be present with where the ministry is. This morning, that ministry was one guy. In fact, since I started teaching College Sunday School, this one guy is the only one I've seen consistently. I think he's missed one week the last two months (that's less than I've missed). I realized that developing a relationship with him, even just by catching up on our week and learning about his life just as important.. no no, more important than having 100 people in the class and not being able to really get to know them. Investment in the lives of others leads to relationships, relationships lead to community, community leads to impact, impact leads to "success". This morning I am thankful for that one guy. I am thankful for the opportunity to just hear about his week, but more importantly, I am thankful that he was hear. That he's willing to invest his time in being present, and that he's willing to give me feedback on how we can become more effective.

Columbus is going to see in uprising of 18-24 year olds working to spread the Kingdom through our city. Every movement, every change, every impact... starts with one person. One person choosing to show up to Sunday School when no one else is here, one person that's willing to take on a role doing both Middle School/College Age ministry and say "we can do better", one person to decide that investing in the communities that are Ivy Tech, Harrison College, and IUPUC is going to change the face of our city.

And when each one of those people come together, a revolution begins.

 In order to influence the culture, you have to infiltrate the culture. 

Pierced, Crushed, Beaten, and Whipped... for MY sin and MY rebellion

Sometimes, I sit in my desk chair and feel this strange sense of uncomfortable.

I feel like I don't belong. I don't mean I don't belong at work, or in Columbus, just in general. I have these days where my body just feels... wrong. Where my heart feels heavy and my soul feels crushed. I've written about this before, I've written about the bad days. Today didn't start out like that, but it turned into one.

Anxious. Nervous. Uncomfortable. Sad. Disillusioned. Awkward. Complacent. Unwanted.

Those are the things the enemy puts into my head. Those are the things the enemy wants me to believe, so I forget that, because of my relationship with Christ I am (or should be):

Still. Calm. Provided for. Protected. Joyful. Normal (whatever that means). Content. Wanted. Needed.

LOVED.

These days come in the strangest of ways. Sometimes I wake up feeling that way. Sometimes, it happens in the middle of a conversation. It's never planned, or predicted. It just happens. I used to get really angry about the bad days. Which, in reality, only made the bad days worse. Then I realized that every once in a while the bad days are something I should find comfort in, because I realized this morning... those feelings, that attack from the enemy, is because he desires to make me distant from Christ. Because the enemy doesn't like the relationship I have with Christ. The bad days come, because I'm doing something right. They make me cry out to God while I'm hurting, and they strengthen my relationship with my Creator because each and every time... He answers my cries. Whether that's by a whisper or a whiplash. He answers. 

Today He answered. He answered with a passage from His Word, that made me realize the things that get me down, that bring on the bad days... are nothing compared to the sacrifice He made for me. 

"But He was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all" Isaiah 53:5-6

Even though my heart rate increases, and my body feels out of place, and my thoughts are sad and running wild... these is one constant. Christ died on the Cross, for my salvation, He took on my sin, my rebellion so that I could be whole and healed. Regardless of how many times I stray, and how many times the enemy is able to bring on one of the bad days... My Savior is constant. My Savior loves me. My Savior died for me. and My Savior fights for me daily.

Grace and Peace

Impoverished Beauty

Thursday Morning.

It's been a week since we left Moldova, and at this point I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened while we were there. Throughout this last week, on a number of occasions, I have tried to paint a picture of the beauty of Chisinau while also driving home the heart-wrenching poverty that is experienced and faced there on a daily basis. I consider myself a wordsmith when it comes to formulating my thoughts through the keystrokes of my hands. Therefore, I felt that the best way to try and convey the beauty in what I experienced was to write about it.

Here goes nothing.

From the moment I stepped off the airplane I was captivated and intrigued to experience everything. I knew there would be moments that seemed slightly uncomfortable, which happens anytime you experience a new culture. I had prayed that these moments be few and far between on the flight from Munich to Chisinau. Not because I don't believe that things are taught in uncomfortable moments, but because I didn't want any one moment to distract me from experiencing everything there was to experience. Walking through the airport, culture shock started to set in right way. Everything from the bathrooms to the language being spoken was different. Yet, all so exciting. After experiencing a rather... awkward... bathroom experience, I'll admit I was a little nervous about getting through the airport and getting to our hostel. As usual, God used something very small to remind me that this place, these people, they weren't so different from myself... that reminder, as funny as it is, came in the form of a cardboard box. The first thing I saw after walking out of the Wash Closet was a cardboard box, on a chair, that read "James Beam, Clermont Kentucky". It made everyone on the team laugh, and I think it took a little of the uncertainty away, long enough for the excitement of what was to come to settle in for the next 10 days.

The city of Chisinau is almost indescribable. It's this place where, everything, from the rolling hills outside the city to the poverty within the busy streets is absolutely beautiful. Now, let me explain what I mean when I describe poverty as beautiful. Don't get me wrong, the poverty of Moldova breaks my heart, and urges me to want to do more for the Moldovan people. Yet, there's a simplicity in the way they live because of the poverty. There's a happiness about the people despite their poverty and there's joy in my heart because of the pride that was shown through personal appearance. These people literally dressed for success every day, no matter whether they were going to church or work, they wore their best clothes. It was as though they were saying to the economy (if it were a tangible thing) "Despite the lack of stability you provide, we are going to be proud of what we have and who we are". That was one of my favorite things about Moldova. The happiness and simplicity I experienced and saw in the faces of the Moldovan people is something similar to what I had experience in Africa and Jamaica... the difference was, it wasn't a product of ignorance to what they didn't have. I believe the Moldovan people are fully aware of the poverty they face, however, instead of allowing it to destroy them, they embrace what they have and make the most of it. Oh how the world would be different if more people viewed things that way. In our culture it's always about "more, more, more" or "new, new, new". I'm guilty of it as well. In fact, this week, on two different occasions I was tempted to spend money on frivolous things. New clothes because they were on sale, even though the clothes I have are more than enough. Or a new golf club because it's spring, even though it probably wouldn't improve my game THAT much. I'm not saying that spending money is entirely a bad thing... and I'm not going to try and be an extremist and say that I'm not going to buy anything new. I just learned while in Moldova, that I need to be more sound in my financial decisions, that sometimes, I need to take pride in what I have... and stop trying to find more.

I learned a lot about myself, compassion for others, ministry, missions, and investment in others. The wheels are turning now, and I'm looking for new ways to invest in the lives of the next generation. I realize that we don't need to spend time teaching our youth how to be the best at a sport, an instrument, and art, or in business. We need to invest in their lives and teach them how to be the best version of themselves. How to take pride in what they have, and how to be in community with others. Each new generation has an opportunity to change the World... and it's the current generation's job to prepare them to do so. This last year God has been teaching me so much about community and relationships. This trip to Moldova, was God's way of reinforcing everything He's been teaching me. Being intentional about being relational takes on a whole new meaning after seeing how the Moldovan people, and the WMF Staff live amongst and with each other. The staff helped me see that living in community is the ONLY way to truly experience Heaven on Earth. That even in a country as impoverished as Moldova, when a community of believers lives together as one, with one common purpose, the poverty the face... is nothing shy of beautiful.


Grace and Peace

An Angel in Moldova

Wow.... where do I begin.

I intended to update my blog more regularly but everything has been a whirlwind, especially the last 3 days. I'm going to do my best to hit the highs and lows of this trip thus far... and I'll fill in details when I return to the States and have a real computer. Basically we traveled all day on Monday (3/18) nothing too crazy happened during travel, which was a good thing. We arrived in Chisinau on Tuesday (3/19) came to the hostel and checked in, went to the mall for a quick snack and caught up on some rest. Wednesday we had a Romanian lesson and then headed to the Internat to help with La Via. I loved the first day there... the kids were just so open and welcoming to us being there, it was great. Thursday we spent the whole day at the school, studying the Poor in Scripture and working with the kids. Friday, we went to a Moldovan "history" museum. It was really cool to see some of the tools,  weapons, clothes, etc. that made up the Moldovan culture. That afternoon we just played with the kids, and worked on building some form of relationship with them. Saturday we went to a village,  our experience deserves it's own post, so more on that later. I really want to focus on Sunday through today right this moment, because it's what is just causing my heart to break and God is restoring me slowly but surely. Sunday morning we went to a local Orthodox Church to worship for about an hour (a service usually lasts 4 hours). The worship was unlike anything else I had ever experienced. Very structured, and ritualistic. It intrigued me so much. That doesn't mean I necessarily enjoyed the way it was done, but I enjoyed experiencing something new. Here's where things start to pull on the heart strings...

After service, we met with a staff member at the school, who attends the Orthodox Church. She was so open and honest with us about her opinions of the church, the history of the church, etc. It was heartwarming to hear about her journey through faith, and her relationship with God. She is the epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman, and it shows in the way she serves others, mothers her children, and cares for all of us. Throughout this conversation she mentioned a family that the church was raising money for. This family of 8 had recently had a house fire... and lost everything. That's when the reality of the poverty in this country set in for me personally. I couldn't stop thinking about this family. I prayed for them right then and right there. I know what it's like to lose everything... but I don't know what it's like when "everything" is barely enough to survive on. When everything is most likely family heirlooms from clothes, to furniture to jewelry. When your neighbors and family can't afford to help because everyone is suffering from the poverty, when there is no insurance to cover your home or the contents... when all you have is the Church and your faith in God to rely on. The thoughts of this absolutely broke me... It took everything I had to hold things together. This same feeling stayed in the pit of my stomach until Monday evening. Don't get me wrong, there were bright spots throughout those days... but I'll talk about that more later. Then Monday evening came, and I got back to my room to wind down, check Facebook, the news, and read my Bible. That's when my heart was broken yet again...

Growing up, I had both sets of grandparents and two sets of great-grandparents. Aside from blood, I had a lot of older people I considered to be family. Warren Broady was one of those people. His daughter Amy, has always been my big sister... and her daugthers are my beloved nieces. I got word from Mom on Monday night that Warren had passed away. My heart was absolutely in shambles. Not only had I been mourning for a family I didn't know, that lost their home, but now I was mourning the loss of someone I loved. I was overwhelmed to say the least. I sat on the stairs of our Hostel crying, shaking, and praying for The Great Comforter to give me peace. God is so good. He brought peace to me through my conversation with my Mom, with Amy and with two other people who I consider two of my best friends. Lucky for me, one of those people is here in Moldova. The leader of our trip came out in the hall and talked to me... she didn't try to sugar coat it, she didn't say any of the cliche things we often say in difficult situations, she simply said "This really sucks, I'm sorry, and I'm here for you if you need me". I am so thankful for Amanda and her heart. The second was from Hayli Goode aka Hammie. I sent her a text shortly after I found out, and her responses were exactly what I needed to find peace in the situation. God used Hayli and her words to calm my heart, and I truly believe that is the only reason I slept at all last night. Thank you dear friends and family for helping me through yet another difficult situation.

As you can imagine, I awoke with a still burdened spirit. I wasn't sure how to react to everything that had happened the last few days. I knew that today had the potential of just adding to the burden. Today we visited a tuburculosis hospital. This hospital is where children would be sent for 6 months, after their TB had become dormant... just to be certain. We were told a lot of these kids didn't have families, and were from orphanages and that it would be incredibly sad and hard to deal with. Wow does God work in awesome ways. Today was such a blessing. The kids were excited to play with us, to do crafts with us, and just spend time with us. I was overjoyed. The smiles on those kids faces made the very sketchy 3 hour Maxi-Taxi ride completely worthwhile. One kid in particular for me. I have a strong connection with one of the boys at La Via, but other than that... I haven't really felt drawn to any child besides D. However, we walked into the room at the hospital, and I was looking at all the children, taking in everything around me, when one little girl smiled at me. She was precious beyond words. If I had to guess, I would say she was in 4th grade. She was so funny. As we were playing games, I could tell some of the older, bigger kids were kind of pushing her out, and she felt like she wasn't involved. I couldn't have that, so I made sure she got to play. When we started doing the craft, I taught her what to do and she picked up on it instantly. So, I moved on to help some boys that didn't quite understand. That's when I watched out of the corner of my eye as she started to mess up on purpose, so I would have to come back and help her again. It was adorable and heart-warming. She made me feel incredibly special, which helped take the pain I had been feeling away. She finished her Eye of God craft with a huge smile, and proudly showed it to me... about 12 times. She wanted to do another one, but we didn't have the materials...so I allowed her to finish mine for me. I then turned it into a necklace (which I then had to do to hers as well) She was excited that she could wear it around her neck... as I was walking out of the room, I passed the one I made to her and told her she could keep it. She had the biggest grin on her face... and it warmed my heart that something as small as popsicle sticks and yarn could make a little girls day. As we were leaving she followed us down to the lobby, she waited there, not saying a word, until we walked out the doors. As we were walking to the bus stop to leave, I turned back to take one more look at the hospital... and there she was, standing just outside the door, smiling and waving goodbye. She waved from inside the door until I was out of sight, and maybe even longer. She doesn't know this... but she made my day. She was an angel sent by God to lift my spirits today, and I will never forget her, or that precious smile.

The last three days have been a rollercoaster of emotions. And despite the pain of loss, and the joy of a child's smile.. the one constant has been God's soveriegnty. I am thankful, and overwhelmed by the love of my Heavenly Father for me, His son. We have one more full day here... and it's not going to be anywhere near long enough. Leaving this place will be hard, and pieces of my heart will always remain here with my Angel, La Via, the children, the staff, and the culture.

Noapte Buna

Grace and Peace,

B