Challenge, Confusion, Comfort, and Culmination. 2013 A Year in Review

01.03.2014.

I started writing the annual "reflect on the past year/look forward to the new year" post for the last week. Each and every time I felt as though I was forcing it, or it didn't have my full attention. Tonight something is different, tonight I need to write this. I think that's because as of 3:30 pm today, the last two years of my professional life came to a close. In December of 2011 I began working for Cummins Emission Solutions. I worked with the Pricing Team for the last two years, and in the two years I have learned an incredible amount about business and myself. Now, you may be wondering why this is how I decided to begin writing this post, but you see it's because this new year, this new job, is the culmination of 365 days of God radically stretching me in ways I never dreamed possible.

This last year, I faced a lot of challenges and had a few triumphs. I began a small group of men that have become my Wednesday morning family. These are men that trusted me to lead them, and in turn have invested time, prayers, and energy into my life, my sin, my struggle, and my triumph. I traveled to Eastern Europe and made memories that will never leave me. I took a random trip to Florida with 3 great friends, I went to Gatlinburg with 6 of my best buds to celebrate a brother's marriage. I stood beside two of my dear friends as each of them married the women of their dreams. I moved into a new office building, which at first seemed like more of a headache than a blessing. Little did I know, that with that new office would come new friendships, friendships that have made me a better man, and saved me from myself on more than one occasion. I've gotten to celebrate new babies with many of my friends, and I've gotten to celebrate birthdays of cherished nieces, nephews, and my Goddaughter. I bought a new car (again), and I am thankful that it allows me to get from point A to point B so efficiently. And of course, I accepted a new position that was an answer to months and months of prayers. I am blessed by everything (and trust me, the above is not everything that happened) that God has provided, however, the year hasn't been all laughs and smiles.

I've stood next to friends as they've buried loved ones. I mourned the loss of my father's two best friends with him, and it strengthened our relationship. I lost touch with good friends. I faced stresses and trials at work beyond my own comprehension. I turned down a job that I thought was perfect for me. I've battled heartache, disappointment, and loss. I found myself going through the motions at times. I faced some of the demons from my past, and I revealed some of the skeletons in my closet. I learned that transparency, as difficult as it is, is the only thing that can heal the pain I still feel from all the things that have happened in the past. And, most importantly, I had to face the man I had become because of all these things. I'll be really honest, 2013 was a difficult year for me to look in the mirror. The stresses of my job, the disappointments in my professional and personal life, started to turn me into a man I didn't like. Thanks to my family, my friends/coworkers, and The Lord I was able to realize how much I didn't like the man I had become. You know, God has a funny way of revealing things to me too. Around the time I began to realize this about myself, I fell in love with a song that came on my computer at work one day. While I realize this song is probably written with the intent to be a love ballad from a man to a woman, I felt like God was using this song to serenade my soul. Go ahead and laugh if you think that's a silly concept, but it's true.

I Won't Give Up.

Jason Mraz released a song in 2012 that captured everything I needed to hear from God. That no matter what I was going through, no matter how much I had to learn, God would not give up on me. It became a comfort, each and every time I felt lonely, discouraged, defeated, downtrodden, or unsure of the future, I could play this song and it would lift my spirits. It would calm my nerves and remind me that God understands my journey, He understands my struggles, my fears, my trials, my failures and my uncertainty. He gives me space to be my own man, while still shaping me into the man He is calling me to be. He is also there to celebrate my triumphs (which are really HIS triumphs), share in my joy, love those I love, and smile when I smile. I have a much deeper appreciation of the personal relationship that Christ yearns to share with me, and that I will never fully deserve.

Culmination at it's finest.

The culmination of all of this, of the 365 days that according to our calendar composed the year 2013, was the new job that I begin on Monday. God uses every situation to teach me more about my faith, myself, and Him. There was a pivotal point in the 365 day journey of 2013. A moment where I decided to stop stressing about the money, the stress, the desire to change jobs, and the feelings of inadequacy. A moment where I finally handed everything to God and said "Father, I am not capable of doing this alone, whatever is Your Will be done, please". I spent the next few weeks giving of my time and finances in ways that previously, I had made excuses for why they weren't possible. From the worldly, financially responsible perspective I was probably making some silly decisions. From the Kingdom, Biblical, good steward of my resources, I was making the wisest investments of my life. That's when there was this second moment, where I hit my knees and cried out "Thank You Father! Thank you for teaching me about how to be a better man, a better disciple, and a son/friend/brother/coworker/employee/volunteer." That moment was a Tuesday morning, on Wednesday I revealed the moment of revelation, the changes to my giving, and the thankfulness with my Community with a Side of Bacon small group. We rejoiced together, we prayed for continued understanding and giving, and THEY encouraged me. On Thursday morning, I got a message at work asking me to call one of many, many people I had interviewed with. I called, and listened. He wanted to offer me a job, in fact, the offer would be in my Inbox within minutes. I could barely contain myself, I "played it cool and professional" by telling him I would review the offer and let him know. I hung up the phone, I sat down at my desk, and I cried. That's right, this job offer brought me to tears. Not because it was a lot of money, or my "dream job", at that point I didn't know what kind of money was being offered, and I still don't know what my "dream job" is. There were tears because God is good, God provides, and God loves. I not only got to learn valuable lessons, but now I was being blessed beyond words. It was as though, for the first time in many months, I felt... Appreciated. Worthy. Accomplished. I didn't feel those things because of the job itself, I felt those things because I had learned more than I could have asked for about myself. I became a better man in the search for this new job, and God provided the answer to a lot of prayers through this job offer.

2014.

I have one prayer for 2014, and one prayer alone. That prayer is to become better. Become a better man, a better friend, a better son, a better brother, a better roommate, a better coworker, a better Uncle, a better teacher, a better leader, a better volunteer, a better grandson, a better giver, a better mentor, and a better men-tee (is that really a word?). 2014 is going to hold it's fair share of challenges, trials, and triumphs. I will still face sin, fear, disappointment, discouragement, depression, anxiety, and failure. However, I will (hopefully) do it more gracefully, because thanks to 2013 I am stronger, because I was able to identify and relinquish control of more of my weakness and need for Christ to be my Savior. I have goals for this year, not resolutions:

1. Succeed in this job
2. Seek Christ more fervently
3. The general fitness and well-being goal (this is perpetual)
4. Devote more of myself to others
5. Focus more on living well

Grace and Peace

What I didn't want to tell you...

It's been almost 3 solid months since I've actually written, no... posted, anything to this blog. I'd love to take the cop-out and say that it's because life has been grand, or that there hasn't been anything going on that I felt like I needed to write about... The truth is, there's been so much going on that I needed to write about that I didn't want to face the white screen that was awaiting words to be written across it. I didn't want to come to terms with the things that have happened, because a lot of them are difficult things to deal with. I've started probably 4 different posts in the last 3 months, and never finished them... not because they didn't need to be written, not because I wasn't motivated, but because the topics and the circumstances made me sad...

I started writing this blog almost 4 years ago... and the thought behind it, the purpose in writing was to create a place for me to think "out loud" and to fine tune my writing skills. Just over a year ago, that purpose changed along with the title of my blog. The purpose become to be transparent with others about what I was feeling and what God was teaching me. It was now no longer about me, but about what my life experiences could do to help others. From around the time this new purpose started to form, the end of August 2012, through the end of the year, my blog transformed. I was writing sometimes daily, at least weekly... I produced almost as many posts in that 3 months than I had in the 3 years prior. When I realized that today, it got me thinking... What was it that spurred so much transparency? What happened to that transparency? Had my faith lessened? Was I not growing?

So. Many. Questions.

I thought of probably 25-30 questions about what was different from last year to this year... and ultimately, I had to take a hard look at myself. I realized that my writing had become forced, because I was trying to censor what I was saying. Part of this was a result of the feedback I received (some good, some bad), part of it was society trying to tell me I had to be strong for everyone around me, because I'm a man... but mainly, it was me acting like a scared little boy. I got into this mindset that I needed to be this deep, theological writer for anyone to find value in what I was saying. I lost sight that I don't do this to glorify myself, but to glorify God, and that in order to do that, I have to be me. I was reminded of this by a devotion I read this morning, and then two blog posts by a fellow blogger. The first post by Los talked about getting back to the basics of knowing God, not just trusting the bloggers/authors/preachers/musicians we follow. It reminded me that I need to really wrestle with the reality of who God is on a daily basis. That was something I needed to read, because too often, I just take the opinion of others around me. The second post was about this filtered image we get of what others' lives look like from Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Vine, etc. I don't want to filter my life, I don't want to give a 90 second jaded, yet glorious glimpse of what my life looks like because the truth is... Even after giving my life to Christ, sometimes my life is hard. And sometimes, things in my life don't make sense. I want people to know that a relationship with Jesus doesn't mean the trials and the tribulations go away, it doesn't mean that you stop battling with lust, depression, self-confidence, pain, self-image, death, etc. It means you don't have to do it alone, it means that through everything God is with you, and in spite of all the bad things God is still sovereign. So hear it is, here's the deal on what's been going on... and what I haven't wanted to admit to you:

I'm sad/angry/confused about the deaths of my Pops' two best friends. John Norman and John Baute invested so much time, effort, love, lessons, and energy into my life that imagining going through future milestones without them there to celebrate sucks.

I'm worried about my Pops, my Mom, and the Baute and Norman families. There's nothing I can do or say that will heal the pain that we are all feeling... I feel helpless, and I can't help but hate that feeling.

I'm complacent within where I am in my career. Entering my third year of "post college career" I thought I'd be in a different place than where I am now. As much as I'm thankful I have a good job, I still feel like I missed the mark some days.

I'm still fighting the depression I faced for so long, some days I wake up and I'm sad... for no reason at all.

I'm still doubtful of the future, the present, and the path in between. There are still days I feel distant from God, and I know that's not the case... but it's there.

I'm still struggling with lust, and 100 other sins that I battle with on a regular basis. While I am saved and redeemed I am in no way righteous. I'm fully aware of that.

The funny thing is... not only have I not told you all those things, I also haven't told you some things about the beauty of what God is doing in my life:

I am confident that God will work in the lives of all those affected by the deaths of John Norman and John Baute. In fact, I've already seen it. My relationship with my father is stronger than ever. I was blessed with some quality time with the first friend I ever had even though the circumstances were less than desirable. I've seen a lot of people take a hard look at their lives, and re-prioritize.

I am made strong in my weakness. This helplessness I feel is a good thing, because it humbles me and allows me to realize that only God can heal the pain that my loved ones are feeling.

I am learning patience and trust. As difficult as it is to feel complacent, I know there's a reason. I know God's plan is greater than my own, and I know that He is trying to imprint Proverbs 19:21 into my life.

I am growing in my faith each and every day. I am tested with the battle of depression, and God strengthens me. Each time I get up and dust off the crap that the enemy cloaks me in on those days I feel depressed, I get another day farther away from that time in my life.

I am hopeful. While I am doubtful of the future, I am hopeful that God is going to do things that I won't be able to fathom, because I know that He's strong enough.

I am learning the importance of grace. I still don't understand God's grace, but I am so thankful that he forgives me every time I fall. I am redeemed each and every day.

Ultimately, I am learning that everything going on around me, the good and the bad, is going to glorify God. I'm going to continue to be strengthened and grow in my relationship with Him because I won't back down, and I won't give up. I'm done running and hiding from being transparent. I promised that these would be Words Through the Wreckage and that's exactly what they will be.

In the words of Carlos Whitaker... "It's better that way..."

Grace and Peace,

B

A video that spurred reflection

I posted the video above to my Facebook profile yesterday. If you haven't watched it, go grab a box of tissues, and prepare yourself for the next 9 minutes... Go ahead, I'll wait.

Trusting that you all watched the above clip, I'll continue to the point of this post. I love the story of Fred and Lorraine, and I love that Green Shoe Studio decided to do something about it. I love it because of the passion that this 96 year old man put behind the simple lyrics of a song. I love it because I'm a writer, and sometimes being a writer causes me to try and perfect things with big words, and vivid imagery. Fred reminded me that sometimes, the most heartfelt writing, the best words, are those that are simple. He didn't write 6 verses, a chorus, a hook, etc. etc. He just simply wrote a few lines that he thought would honor his wife Lorraine, and honor is exactly what they brought to their relationship. I also love it, because Fred reminds me of my Grandpa Don.

Grandpa Don is celebrating a birthday today... in Heaven. It's been almost 14 years since passed away, and yet, I still remember the things he taught me, whether he meant too or not. One of the biggest lessons he taught me, was how to love others. The love my Grandpa had for Grandma Paige was unrivaled. I had never seen anything like it, the way he lit up when she entered a room, and how she could command his attention no matter what else was going on around them. They set an example for our entire family. Grandma and Grandpa shared something special, something that is becoming more and more rare these days unfortunately. The best way to describe it, and to take a lesson from Fred, simply said they shared unconditional love. I could write a really long post, with tons of huge, flowery, vibrant words.. but they wouldn't do it justice. Unconditional love is what they shared between each other, and for everyone they encountered. I am so thankful that I can look back on their example, and know that that's truly what love looks like. I'm thankful that a part of Grandpa Don lives on in me, and I pray that one day I get to experience the same unconditional love with my wife.

Thank you, Fred for reminding me of the greatest lesson that Grandpa Don ever taught me.

and Thank you, Grandpa Don... for loving Grandma Paige, and all the rest of us unconditionally. I love you, and I miss you. Happy Birthday Grandpa.

Grace and Peace

Imagery of the Glory of the Lord

Did you think I had forgotten you?

Don't worry, I'm still here... I've just been on a bit of a hiatus from writing. The funny thing is, I kept trying to justify this hiatus by telling myself, and others, that it was because I was focusing on building relationships face to face. When in actuality, I was at a dead sprint running from all things that cause conviction. I had started to drift again, I don't think it was intentional on my part. I think I just started allowing everything else to be an idol. My job owned me. My bills, my timelines, my home, my car, my friends, and my goals that I was convinced I would achieve only through hard work (on my own, mind you) consumed me. There wasn't any time left after all of those things were attended too. If I am completely vulnerable, as I promised I would be on this blog, I left no time for Jesus. I am the only one at fault for this, I was just so..... tired. I was tired of trying to maintain things, and even though I'm always telling other people our strength comes from The Lord, I wasn't listening to myself. So I just ran.... and I ran... and I ran which made me more and more tired. In the last month I have dealt with every emotion possible, and it all accumulated to a meltdown two weeks ago during first service.

I was sitting in the back row, next to my parents at CCC during first service. Looking back the entire thing was completely a God moment. First off, because I usually am at the church for 2nd Service and then later that night for Youth Group, lately I haven't been getting up for 1st service, the fact that I did was the start of some awesome things God was going to do for me. The songs that morning during worship were right on point. I started to feel the weight and stress of everything from the last month was too heavy and I couldn't hold it anymore. Then, right before we started the last song, they mentioned that if anyone would like to come to the alter and lay it all before The Lord they were welcome too. We started to sing Rescue, and I looked over at my Dad and saw the tears streaming down his face. I could see the weight of the world lifting from his shoulders. His breathing was different, as though he was relieved from the pressure and pain. I could tell he was thinking about John, one of his best friends who passed away a few weeks ago. It was in that moment that I decided to go forward, to pray for Pops. However, what I didn't know, was that going forward wasn't just for my Dad, it was for me as well. I don't allow myself to be humbled and taken to my knees before The Lord as often as I used too... but that Sunday morning I couldn't stand up under the weight of the last month any longer and I collapsed. I bowed my head and I cried out to God to be rescued from the anger, the pain, the sadness, the loneliness, the misdirection, and the lack of motivation. I asked for forgiveness for running from God, for not creating time for Him. I laid it all down on the alter that morning.

And as always, My Rescuer was there to pull me from the depths. Except, God didn't just rescue me, He restored me. The last two weeks I have had conversations that have done nothing but affirm the work that God is doing in my heart. Everything from conversations during morning runs with dear friends to phone calls with people I hardly know have been completely God breathed. I was in awe of what He was doing to help me feel restored in Him. Next thing I knew, it was the end of the week... Friday afternoon I hopped in the Jeep and headed down to Spring Hill Camps for the college age retreat. Top down, wind in my face, not a care in the world, I was ready for some relaxation and some fun. This retreat was planned to be a kickoff for the college aged ministry, I was just there to help. It was just supposed to be a weekend to get to know some of the college students in our church. For me, it ended up being so much more than that. After arriving to the camp, and driving around a few times (I may or may not have gotten a little lost...) I parked the Jeep by the entrance to help direct the rest of our group where to go (You know, because if someone as directionally intelligent as me could get lost, everyone else was in trouble...ha). I knew I had a little time to wait before anyone arrived, so I grabbed the little pocket sized Bible out of my glove box and started to flip through it. I turned to Ezekiel and realized I had never read the book of Ezekiel all the way through, in fact, I knew virtually nothing of what this book contained. So I started reading, and decided over the next few weeks I would walk through this book and see what I could learn. I mean, from the very beginning, during Ezekiel's "inaugural vision" (my Bible gives cool headlines), the way that the Spirit of The Lord appears to Ezekiel during this vision is so mind-blowing that I've read and re-read it at least a dozen times since that Friday.

In fact, I don't usually do this... but I'm going to copy and paste it here:

"As I looked, I saw a great storm coming from the north, driving before it a huge cloud that flashed with lightning and shone with brilliant light. There was fire inside the cloud, and in the middle of the fire glowed something like gleaming amber.[d] 5 From the center of the cloud came four living beings that looked human, 6 except that each had four faces and four wings. 7 Their legs were straight, and their feet had hooves like those of a calf and shone like burnished bronze. 8 Under each of their four wings I could see human hands. So each of the four beings had four faces and four wings. 9 The wings of each living being touched the wings of the beings beside it. Each one moved straight forward in any direction without turning around.

10 Each had a human face in the front, the face of a lion on the right side, the face of an ox on the left side, and the face of an eagle at the back. 11 Each had two pairs of outstretched wings—one pair stretched out to touch the wings of the living beings on either side of it, and the other pair covered its body. 12 They went in whatever direction the spirit chose, and they moved straight forward in any direction without turning around.

13 The living beings looked like bright coals of fire or brilliant torches, and lightning seemed to flash back and forth among them. 14 And the living beings darted to and fro like flashes of lightning.

15 As I looked at these beings, I saw four wheels touching the ground beside them, one wheel belonging to each. 16 The wheels sparkled as if made of beryl. All four wheels looked alike and were made the same; each wheel had a second wheel turning crosswise within it.17 The beings could move in any of the four directions they faced, without turning as they moved. 18 The rims of the four wheels were tall and frightening, and they were covered with eyes all around.19 When the living beings moved, the wheels moved with them. When they flew upward, the wheels went up, too. 20 The spirit of the living beings was in the wheels. So wherever the spirit went, the wheels and the living beings also went. 21 When the beings moved, the wheels moved. When the beings stopped, the wheels stopped. When the beings flew upward, the wheels rose up, for the spirit of the living beings was in the wheels. 22 Spread out above them was a surface like the sky, glittering like crystal. 23 Beneath this surface the wings of each living being stretched out to touch the others’ wings, and each had two wings covering its body. 24 As they flew, their wings sounded to me like waves crashing against the shore or like the voice of the Almighty[e] or like the shouting of a mighty army. When they stopped, they let down their wings. 25 As they stood with wings lowered, a voice spoke from beyond the crystal surface above them. 26 Above this surface was something that looked like a throne made of blue lapis lazuli. And on this throne high above was a figure whose appearance resembled a man. 27 From what appeared to be his waist up, he looked like gleaming amber, flickering like a fire. And from his waist down, he looked like a burning flame, shining with splendor. 28 All around him was a glowing halo, like a rainbow shining in the clouds on a rainy day. This is what the glory of the Lord looked like to me. When I saw it, I fell face down on the ground, and I heard someone’s voice speaking to me."

There aren't even words to describe what an amazing description this is. Up to this point in reading, all I knew about Ezekiel is that he's a Hebrew Prophet, I did a little research and found that Ezekiel means "God will strengthen" and I would imagine that having the Spirit of the Lord reveal himself to you in the way God revealed himself to Ezekiel would surely strengthen even the weakest of souls. It's such a vivid and beautiful image that Ezekiel paints from his vision. However, personally it's one of the last lines that I love the most "This is what the glory of the LORD looked like to me". You see, throughout scripture the Glory of the Lord looks different to many different people. For me, recently, the glory of the Lord as come in the form of the community I belong too, my small group, my friends, my family. I came to the realization this morning that I have been praying for 25-foot doves, for the Spirit of the Lord to come riding in on a chariot of fire, just like Ezekiel saw. God doesn't do things the obvious way though. No, God doesn't always reveal Himself to us in huge, billboard-esque images. Sometimes, God reveals himself and rescues us in the quiet. It's better that way.

Grace and Peace

Conversation, Conviction, and Correction

I'm too busy.

Today has been too stressful.

I don't have the time to think about that.

Those are the lies I catch myself in on a daily basis. Those are the thoughts that literally consume me at work. It's in the midst of those moments, those busy days, those crazy weeks, that God grabs me by the shoulders and says "Stop making excuses, and rest in my grace and mercy". It never fails that just when I think I don't have enough time, or the energy, that's when God sparks conversations that lead to conviction, that leads to the correction.

Today, was one of those days. Today God showed his love for me through a text from my best friend. A text telling me to look for God's faithfulness in the stress, and to be thanking Him for what I have been given. Most of all, reminding me to trust in the plans God has for me, no matter if I understand the circumstances or not. That's a reminder I needed in the worst way. It should come as no surprise to anyone that I don't handle stress well. I've always put a lot of pressure on myself, mainly to try and meet everyone else's needs and to please others. That pressure constantly drowns me, it's the enemy's way of stealing my joy. Thankfully, I have a best friend that loves me enough to speak truth into my life, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

It doesn't end there.

God continues to work, He doesn't just give me enough to relieve the stress, He overflows my cup. He fills me with enough Truth, Love, and conviction that I all I can do is be in awe at how much He loves me. He creates conversation after conversation that help me to grow and walk a little straighter. A second conversation, with a brother who is dear to my heart, provided some insight into the daily struggle of ministry (both occupational and non). We talk about life, ministry, evangelism, Kingdom growth, and accountability. It's because of this brother that some of my struggles are made a little more real, and he helps me to see when my actions are causing others to stumble. I am thankful for that conviction and that accountability. Of course, just when I think it's time to go home and rest, to escape everything that's going on... I flip open my Bible and God uses His Word to sum up the lesson of the day in it's entirety...

"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it" Mark 8:34-35.

I need to remind myself of this each and every morning. I need to walk away from my sin, my struggle and walk to my God, who through all of that crap, is still sovereign. I am thankful for conversations, and conviction that leads to correction. Here's to being a better man tomorrow, the day after that, and the day after that, etc, etc.

Grace and Peace

Sovereign

When I feel like I'm too busy to rest.

My God is still sovereign.

When the enemy tries to lure me back into tempting lust.

My God is still sovereign.

When I forget who I am, and find myself conforming to society's image of me

My God is still sovereign.

When the depression I dealt with in the past, starts to creep back into my present.

My God is still sovereign.

When I feel like I'm in a rut, and I begin to lose hope

My God is still sovereign.

When I feel like all the constants of life are absent in the middle of any given day.

My God is still sovereign.

Each and every day, I remind myself, that through all the pain, joy, triumph, disappointment, failure, discouragement, anger, bliss, excitement, fear, and craziness in my life-- My God is still sovereign. That one thing is all I need to continue to push forward, despite how badly I want to quit. My God has never given up on me, despite spitting in His face time and time again, My God is still sovereign.. 

Grace and Peace

The Power of ONE.

There are a number of struggles I face when it comes to working within ministry. Most of those struggles are the kind that simply "come with the territory". However, there's one of those struggles that usually bothers me more than the others. That struggle of "numbers". Now, any of you that work in ministry probably know exactly what I mean when I say that. It's that idea that the success of your ministry is driven by how many people are attending. I teach College Aged Sunday School, and this time of year, because a lot of students are away at school trying to cap off yet another school year, there are fewer and fewer students in Sunday School. I struggle with that because of a few desires I have for the College Aged Ministry:

1. I want to see the College Age Ministry thrive in Columbus. In terms of this being a "college town" it's not the same as what I experienced in Lexington. That means a lot of times the turnout for things like Sunday School isn't the same. I want to see that change. I want to see a community of people coming together to intentionally study God's Word in a more intimate setting than a corporate worship service.
2. I want to invest in the lives of the College Age people in Columbus. In order to truly and effectively communicate the importance of the Gospel and to encourage a relationship with Christ I have to have a relationship with the individual. I want to invest in the College Age ministry because I want to see those that are apart of it invest in themselves by taking their faith seriously.
3. I want the College Age ministry to flourish causing a transformation of our city. As much as it surprises me that I'm going to write this next sentence... I love the city of Columbus. I know there's a desire for a lot of college students to escape Columbus, their hometown, and experience other parts of the country. I get it because I was that person. However, Columbus has been good to me post-college, and I want to those that are college age to understand the importance and the impact this city can have for the Kingdom of God.


Now, looking at those desires, I see a yearning to truly see College Age Ministry be successful in Columbus. I think it will become a success because I think there are people taking action through CCC that are going to make a difference. Those recognition of those desires this morning helped me realize an area in which I fail in ministry. I focus too much sometimes on numbers. Granted I would love to have 25, 50, 100, College Age people in Sunday School every week. But, right now, that's not the reality. In order to effective I need to be present with where the ministry is. This morning, that ministry was one guy. In fact, since I started teaching College Sunday School, this one guy is the only one I've seen consistently. I think he's missed one week the last two months (that's less than I've missed). I realized that developing a relationship with him, even just by catching up on our week and learning about his life just as important.. no no, more important than having 100 people in the class and not being able to really get to know them. Investment in the lives of others leads to relationships, relationships lead to community, community leads to impact, impact leads to "success". This morning I am thankful for that one guy. I am thankful for the opportunity to just hear about his week, but more importantly, I am thankful that he was hear. That he's willing to invest his time in being present, and that he's willing to give me feedback on how we can become more effective.

Columbus is going to see in uprising of 18-24 year olds working to spread the Kingdom through our city. Every movement, every change, every impact... starts with one person. One person choosing to show up to Sunday School when no one else is here, one person that's willing to take on a role doing both Middle School/College Age ministry and say "we can do better", one person to decide that investing in the communities that are Ivy Tech, Harrison College, and IUPUC is going to change the face of our city.

And when each one of those people come together, a revolution begins.

 In order to influence the culture, you have to infiltrate the culture.